Broken
by David Carner
Summary: A plan to find Orion involves the kidnapping of Chuck Bartowski. Sarah and Casey go to save him, against orders from their superiors. They return to Burbank, not as they left. How do two former spies and a nerd heal from the ordeal? This is not my typical fluff. I am absolutely serious.
1. Ch 1, The Greater Good

A/N: So this will not be my normal fluff city. I'm not saying it won't get there in the end, but this one starts HEAVY. How heavy? One of my favorite fics is Chuck vs The Yogurt Girl by Jay1978. He takes two characters that are overcoming their pasts, and problems, together. It's just this beautiful story of love helping two people heal.

This story has been building in my head for months, but I just couldn't put it all together until a day ago. Again, it is HEAVY. There is torture, not explained in detail, but it's there. But, at it's core it's about two people helping the other heal, through love. If you wanna bounce, I get it. But, I've put a LOT of thought into this one. So if you're still here, thanks for giving me a chance on this one. I'm not going full on Zettel with the oofs, but there may be a oof or two. (Apparently I oof now, you can blame Steampunk for that.) This begins at the end of Helicopter. Welcome to Broken Ch 1, The Greater Good

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, and yes that line from Pink, we're not broken, just bent is playing through my head as I write this.

* * *

He stood there watching her, watching Bryce be buried. They made eye contact for the briefest second and then she looked away. He sighed. He was going to end up in a bunker, because no one wanted to explain anything to him. They expected him to jump at orders. They had all implied that they were doing him a favor. A favor. He was mad. So mad. He had been yelled at, held in some type of hold in the bathroom, and while he weirdly liked it, she had never apologized for it. Since this whole thing had started it had been nothing but wondering about who would betray the other next.

He thought this would be like a super-hero team-up where the good guys fought but came together in the end. They hadn't, except to yell at him. Sarah turned and walked away. That was fine. He was sorry she was hurting, but she had done nothing for him. She lied to him constantly, telling him it was for his own good. She had fake dated him, held a gun to him, put him in that wrestling hold, and told him how she was all that was between him and going to a bunker. It was so kind of her to let him live life when he had done nothing wrong. He walked away, sorry for Bryce, but already sick of spying.

-ooooo-

"Dude," Morgan said, slipping up to him while he sat at the Nerd Herd desk. "We have the greatest opportunity. We've won a trip, see, an all expense paid trip." Morgan showed Chuck the plane tickets, hotel reservations, everything needed for a two week get away. "We have to go."

"Big Mike would never allow it," Chuck said to Morgan, wishing he could get away.

"Look, it's a private flight, and they have reimbursed Big Mike for the time missed. It's the ultimate prize package. He said we can go, right now!"

Chuck looked at Morgan and then at his watch. They'd never let him go, but if they didn't know….He deserved one last outing with the one person in this world he could trust. "Ellie," Chuck began.

"Says to go!" Chuck watched Casey walk back to the break room. He thought for a moment, took off the watch, laid it on the desk, and stood up. "You're in?"

"Yep, we deserve this," Chuck replied. "We deserve a break, now let's get out of here before others get jealous, and keep quiet about it." The two hurried out of the Buy More.

-ooooo-

 _Two days later_

Chuck opened his eyes, groggily. His shoulders were aching. Why did they hurt so much? He tried to move them, but his arms were restrained. His hands were tied over his head and his feet barely touched the floor, not enough to get any leverage, just enough to let him get comfortable for a second before it started all over again.

"Tell me something," a voice in the darkness began. "Why does a noone like you suddenly have a super modelesque girl friend and a special ops trained coworker at a big box store both show up just before I try and kidnap you?"

"Casey is Special ops?" Chuck asked, before he could think.

"It's the way he move, carries himself, always on the lookout," the man explained coming into the light where Chuck could see his face.

"Shouldn't you have on a mask or something?" Chuck asked.

The man grinned. "Oh, you're worried I'm going to kill you? I'm not, I need you for bait. See, the last time I tried to catch Orion, I was closer than ever, and he had surveillance up of you. Now I had to ask myself why? I never found a good reason so I decided I'd ask you personally when those two showed up. After your apparent arguments with your girlfriend, and if she really is your girlfriend I hope you have a chance in the future to make it up to her. I don't like your chances, but I really hope you do….where was I? Oh, yes after she and…did you say Casey?" Chuck gulped and didn't answer. The man had a sad smile on his face. "You really are gonna want to talk to me. Bad things will happen if you don't."

He reached over and grabbed the live exposed wire that Chuck hadn't noticed before. Chuck's eyes went wide. "Yes! Casey!"

The man nodded. "See, you should have answered that immediately, now I have to teach you a lesson." He jabbed the wire into Chuck's side. Pain shot through Chuck. He screamed, and when the wire was pulled away everything started to go black. "You'll learn," was the last thing he heard.

-ooooo-

He dreamed, at least he thought it was a dream. He and Morgan were in a car talking.

" _I can't believe you entered up into this all expenses paid trip to Costa Gravas," Morgan said, to Chuck as he drove the car._

" _What are you talking about?" Chuck asked._

" _The contest you entered us in," Morgan explained._

" _I never entered us into any contest," Chuck replied._

" _CHUCK!" Morgan screamed. Chuck turned in time to see a SUV hit them in the side, t-boning them. He blacked out, but woke to find himself being carried from the wreck._

" _What do we do with the other one Mr. Vincent?" the soldier asked._

" _Help the ambulance driver with him. Remember their story is he was DOA and his body is cremated," he heard the man who must be Vincent reply. "As of today Chuck Bartowski is no more."_

His thoughts began to swirl. He saw the torturer's face and remembered his voice. It was Vincent. He was the one who had tortured him. A slap to Chuck's face, made him blink. Vincent was standing in front of him.

"They think your dead, in Costa Gravas," Vincent explained. "They have no idea we're in the US. There is no one coming for you. How do you know Orion?"

"I swear to you, I don't know who that is," Chuck nearly pleaded.

"I believe you," Vincent admitted. "You aren't one who seems to lie." He ripped Chuck's shirt open. He grabbed a bucket of water and threw it on his chest. "I'd say I'm sorry for this, but I'm really not."

"Why are you doing this?" Chuck pleaded.

"Because if he's keeping tabs on you, then he'll have to come save you, and right now this video feed is going to the dark web, to his site. He'll have to come, or you'll die. There is no one he trusts, no one he can get to help. You are the only way I have to lure him out. I don't think you'll die. I'm not sure, but I don't think."

"Listen," Chuck whimpered. "You have the wrong guy."

"Maybe," Vincent agreed. "But what if I don't?" With that, he stuck the live wire into Chuck's abdomen and he screamed like he never screamed before.

-ooooo-

Orion watched from his secure site. He knew the game Vincent was playing. He would go, but he knew two people who could handle this situation better than him. He turned and watch Agent Walker stalk her hotel room. The Ice Queen would go and save his son, and if she killed Vincent in the process…all the better.

-ooooo-

The knock on her door pulled her from her thoughts. She walked over and yanked it open. Casey was standing there, somber.

"He's gone, Sarah, and so are we."

"What?" Sarah asked, not believing what he was saying.

"Our mission is over, and it's not looking good for us," Casey replied, shrugging and coming in.

She shut the door and spun. "What the hell is wrong with you, he's captured somewhere, and your worried about us?"

"He's been confirmed dead," Casey replied.

"By whom, Casey, by whom?"

Casey stared at her. "Costa….shit."

"What can buy in Costa Gravas?" Sarah asked, her arms crossed, annoyance all over her face.

"Just about anything," Casey admitted.

"This is on us," Sarah said. Casey looked up and started to retort but saw her face and held his tongue. "He's not an agent. He's not a bad guy and we treated him like scum."

"That's a bit much," Casey began.

"Really, how many times have you already pointed your gun at him?" Casey grunted and didn't say anything. "We have been going about this all wrong."

"Hell, Walker, this isn't our type of mission, we are point and click. We're infiltrate, get the info, and get the hell out. We're promising them A, drugging them, or having our partner knock 'em in the head and getting the intel. We're so many things, but babysitters are not what we are."

"And he's none of those things and understands none of it," Sarah retorted. Casey looked away, a grimace on his face. "And we explained none of it too him. We've been in a pissing contest too much to do our job." Casey chuckled. "We suck at this, but that shouldn't be on him."

"I hate this," Casey muttered. "We are trampling all over his rights."

"Is that why the gruff demeanor with him?" Sarah asked. Casey didn't answer. "If you act like that you don't have to think how this affects him?" A ding on her computer interrupted her. She walked over, hit the button checking her incoming messages and gasped. She put her hands together over her nose, tears forming in her eyes.

Casey rushed over and saw Chuck being shocked. "Holy hell," he muttered.

The torture stopped, and they heard his voice. "Are you sure you don't know who Orion is?"

"I don't….know," Chuck panted. "You've got the wrong guy. Please, let me go."

"Casey we've got to do something," Sarah said, making Casey turn toward her. He gulped. There was a steel in her voice he had never heard before. This was the Ice Queen, Graham's Enforcer. He didn't know who was torturing Chuck, but the best thing he could do right now would be to pull out his gun and blow his own brains out, because when this woman found him, with that tone…hell was gonna be a Sunday picnic.

The image faded and a digital face took it's place. "I am Orion, the man Vincent is looking for." Sarah and Casey shared a look. "I can help you find him, but I need you to protect me."

"Why should we protect you?"

"Because Fulcrum is looking for me. I created the Intersect."

"Shit," Casey muttered.

"I don't trust your superiors," Orion said. "I need you to tell them you found it on the dark web Agent Walker. Chuck showed it to you on one of your cover dates."

"Look, we want to ask Chuck, but your asking us to go against our superiors, which could get us in trouble," Casey began.

"I can protect you, I can show higher ups what is really going on," Orion replied. Suddenly a video of the President was shown. "I can get him a message exposing this project and protecting the two of you, but you have to find and save Chuck."

"Why is he so special to you?" Casey asked.

"He has been hurt by my invention," Orion replied. "I feel responsible."

"I'll do it," Sarah blurted out. Casey turned to her, and they shared a look. He nodded.

-ooooo-

Four hours later they found themselves in the back woods of Western Kentucky. Sarah couldn't believe Chuck was this close to home. She couldn't believe Vincent had brought Chuck to his home state. But what she really couldn't believe were her earlier orders.

" _You and Major Casey are to terminate Vincent, his men, and the Intersect," Beckman said._

" _WHAT?!" Sarah yelled. "General, no!"_

" _Agent Walker, the Intersect is compromised. This is further proof why he never should have been left in the public," Beckman explained._

" _General, he's a civilian," Sarah stressed._

" _Agent Walker, this is for the greater good," Beckman answered. Sarah started to retort but saw her laptop screen off to the side._

" _Agree, but don't do it. I'll contact the president and protect you."_

" _We understand," Sarah replied. Casey nodded. The screen in front of them went blank. "Casey, you don't have to do this, we're gonna lose our jobs."_

" _Sarah-" the voice on the screen began to speak._

" _You don't understand, we will have jobs, they'll just be pushing papers," Sarah explained._

" _I'm in, Walker," Casey said, surprising her. "She threw the greater good in my face. We'll probably be stuck in Burbank for a lifetime over this," he sighed._

" _Let's just go save him and worry about the rest later," Sarah replied._

Sarah and Casey found the compound and watched the guards for several minutes. "This is suicide," Casey said softly. Sarah couldn't help but agree. "They knowingly sent us into this."

"Air strike after we don't report back?" Sarah asked.

"Makes sense, track our location to get exact coordinates," Casey mussed. "Ain't no sense both of us dying."

"Casey-"

"Can it Walker, I've had a good run. I'll make a distraction and you save your nerd. Just name one of the rugrats after me."

Sarah stared at him. "I don't know what your talking about, Casey."

"Sure, Walker, sure," Casey said, grinning. He sobered. "You know, he's not been trained like you or I. Even those that are trained have problems…"

"Night terrors," Sarah said softly. Casey nodded. "I'll be there for him, John."

He grunted, gave her a nod and took off. A few minutes later she heard an explosion and stormed the compound, encountering little resistance. Inside she found Chuck, alone, and that's when all hell broke loose and her life was never the same again.

* * *

A/N: Okay, one more "rough" chapter. No more torture, but stuff happens that's gonna affect these two. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.

DC


	2. Ch 2, Consequences

A/N: I laughed my head off at the blink twice review. Well done! Yeah, I can do this. I don't like to, but I can. I'm not a fan of break 'em and fix 'em, but this one kinda came to me and I couldn't not write it. Chuck is not used to this world, especially at this point in the story, which I chose on purpose. I'm not going to leave him messed up, you guys know me, but the journey to get there will not be the pink fluff you're used to. There will be moments of it, but it's going to take a bit to get them there. Thanks for reading this and taking a chance. I really appreciate it. Again, Jay1978, thank you for the wonderful fic that gave me this idea. Broken Ch 2, Consequences.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, but I'm still rooting for those two crazy kids all these years later.

* * *

 _Several days later_

"Major," Beckman said tersely.

"Surprised to see me?" Casey asked, scowling.

"You forget yourself, Major!" Beckman warned.

"No, you sent me and Walker to die," Casey spat.

"And yet, here you are," Graham observed, trying to keep things under control. "Perhaps we have more faith in your abilities than you do."

"Perhaps we're better at our jobs, Bartowski included, than you realized," Casey countered.

Graham began to draw up.

"Enough," Beckman snapped. "You and Walker will be assigned to Bartowski for the time being, most likely permanently, as per the orders of the President. Bartowski is to remain with one NSA and CIA agent from now until the President rescinds the order."

"Understood, General," Casey coughed, calming a little. "It will be some time until Walker or Bartowski is mission-ready."

"Who said anything about missions?" Beckman asked. Casey glared at her. "For the time being, you will continue to work at the Buy More. The President has made it clear Mr. Bartowski will be compensated for his ordeal. If he were to try and start his own company, it is strongly encouraged he hire you two, but not required."

"Understood."

"Also, as soon as humanly possible, make sure one of you moves in with Bartowski," Beckman said, some trace of warmth finding its way into her tone.

"Casey, feel free to make it Walker. She'll never do anything in the field again, so she can watch him or work a desk job," Graham added, his face dour.

"Piss her off and make her resign," Casey said, nodding. "You really are one heartless bastard."

"MAJOR CASEY!" Beckman bellowed warmth gone.

"We got this, tell the family thatChuck is in protection and we're US Marshals. That way Walker and Bartowski can share a place without getting any grief from his sister."

"What is Walker's condition?" Beckman asked.

"She has had surgery to remove the bullet in her leg and in her shoulder," Casey replied. "She is currently in a wheelchair, sitting beside Bartowski. They are sharing a room…for security reasons."

"And Bartowski?" Beckman asked.

"Chuck's been through hell, General. He endured torture he has not been trained to endure and he blames himself for what happened. Unfortunately for you, he's not considered suicidal. If he was you wouldn't have to waste resources on him." Casey was glaring at the two on the screen. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to check on my partners."

"Casey, you have no partners, you work for the NSA," Beckman said.

Casey grunted a laugh, reached over, and cut the feed before they could. He left his apartment before they could reconnect.

-ooooo-

He lay in bed, asleep. Not really asleep. He hadn't slept since before Bryce's funeral. But right now, he must be, because he was back. He was back in that room, hanging by the bindings around his wrists. There had been an explosion. Peter and Luke were supposed to hit him in the ribs every so often. Those were Vincent's orders. It was getting hard to breathe, and he was pretty sure one rib was broken, maybe several. Everyone ran out of the room, leaving him alone. He heard gunshots here and there, making their way to him. A fight broke out nearby and a machine gun clanged to the ground, sliding into the room, stopping near him.

He was sure at this point he was hallucinating because _she_ came around the corner. A blond Valkyrie in black. She took one look at him, and her icy features melted. Fear covered her face. She rushed to him, took his body weight, lifted him up, freeing him from the hook. As she gently lowered him to the ground, he he saw movement behind her. He tried to twist her out of the way, save her, and she yelled as they collapsed into each other. They hit the ground, and Chuck saw Vincent standing over them.

"I've got this," Sarah hissed through gritted teeth as she tried to rise, blood pouring out of her left leg.

Vincent gave her a look. "You're hurt, he's probably got PTS from torture…you don't stand a chance. I'll make it easy on you. What I really want to know is, how do you know Orion?"

"I'm just a girl looking for her boyfriend," she growled. Vincent gave her a look and shot her in the right shoulder.

"You son of a bitch!" Chuck screamed. He rose with the gun in his hand, pulling back the trigger. The gun roared to life and Vincent was riddled with bullets. He fell to the ground, dead. Chuck turned to Sarah. "No, no, no, no," he muttered. His body was shaking like the gun in his hands. He was going into shock. He had killed a man and felt no remorse about it. He heard the footsteps and spun. Peter and Luke, the two men who had helped torture him came around the corner. Chuck didn't think, he pulled the trigger killing both of them. Chuck grabbed his tattered shirt, ripped it apart, wadded it up, and pushed one part of it against her shoulder.

"OW!" Sarah screamed. He started to pull back when she grabbed his wrist with her free hand. "I got this, my knee." Chuck nodded, scooted around her and did the same thing.

"Christ," Casey said, entering the room. "Backup's on it's way. Fort Campbell isn't far off, we'll get you there." He looked at Chuck. "There's only room in the chopper for two," he said, pulled out his gun and shot Chuck.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Chuck screamed, waking up and then realizing he was in the hospital. He felt a hand curl gently around his. His hand was covered in sweat like the rest of his body. He looked down at his hand, and followed the hand attached to his back to it's owner. Sarah was looking at him.

"I'm sorry, I would be closer but…" she nodded to her leg. It was in a cast, and sticking straight out.

"It's okay," Chuck said catching his breath. "It was another dream." Sarah nodded, concern etched on her face. "It was the rescue. It was all what happened, until the end…" He took a deep breath. "Casey came in and shot me," he said softly tears in his eyes.

"It's okay, Chuck."

"Sarah, I trust you, I do, but I don't know if anything will ever be okay again."

-ooooo-

The helicopter landed, and Casey stood there waiting for Devon and Ellie. Ellie jumped off the helicopter, ran to Casey, and hugged him. "Thank you for saving him." Casey patted her shoulder. "What happened?"

"We're still not sure how they found him," Casey admitted. "He's been through a lot."

"Okay, I'm a doctor so, give it to me, what is your condition?"

"I'm fine, Ellie," Casey replied. "A few nicks, cuts, scratches, nothing serious."

"Sarah?" Devon asked.

Casey grimaced. "Shot in the left leg, it's going to take some serious work to get her back to her old self." He paused and gave Ellie a serious grin. "According to Walker, Chuck saw the guy coming and tried to flip her around but didn't have the strength. He moved her enough that she got shot in the leg and not the knee, which would have been devastating." Ellie nodded a tight smile on her face. "GSW in the right shoulder, mostly a flesh wound, she'll be fine from it."

They all stared at each other, no one daring to voice what was hanging in the air. Casey began softly. "Burns over much of his torso, 3 broken ribs, 2 fractured ones, no internal damage. It looks much worse than it is." Ellie nodded tears in her eyes. "He left his protective detail, Ellie. I'm not saying that to blame him, I'm telling you that because they wouldn't have gotten him if Sarah or I would have been there."

"Who's watching him now?" Ellie asked.

Casey grinned. "Who do you think?"

"But she's been shot." Casey just kept grinning. "John, are you telling me there's something really there?"

"I'm not saying anything, but I'll say this, if someone tried to take him right now, I have money on a one-legged, one-armed, Sarah Walker, kicking that person's ass.

"She's got it bad for the Chuckster," Devon said, grinning and nodding.

"When we get home we're going to need more protection," Ellie began, and then she saw Casey's face. "He is coming home." It wasn't a question.

"One of us has been ordered to move in with Chuck," Casey began.

"Who was ordered?" Ellie asked, crossing her arms and giving him a look.

"It was our choice," Casey began again, but stopped as soon as he saw Ellie's grin. "I think we both know Chuck gets along better with Walker than me."

"Can I see him?" Ellie asked.

"Right this way," he said to both of them leading them into the secured facility.

-ooooo-

"I'm sorry," Chuck said softly. Sarah looked over at him. "You wouldn't have been shot…twice, if I hadn't run off."

Sarah didn't say anything for a second. "Casey and I realized what we had done wasn't the right way to deal with you," she replied, wincing as she heard the words come out of her mouth. "You're not an agent, not a bad guy, not a typical asset. I shouldn't have grabbed you, yelled at you…I handled the whole situation poorly. What we did to you was wrong."

"But I got you shot," Chuck replied.

"And you saved my life," she replied. Chuck began to cry. "Hey, hey, listen, it was him or me."

"Sarah, you don't understand," Chuck said through the tears. "I killed them and didn't even feel bad about it. I didn't even give the two henchmen a warning."

"Chuck if they'd of gotten to their weapons you and I'd be dead," Sarah explained.

"Sarah, I'm glad they're dead," Chuck sobbed.

"Chuck, did those men torture you?" Chuck nodded. "And you feel bad because you're not sorry they're dead?" He nodded again. "Then you're okay." He looked up at her and the soft smile she was giving him. "If you weren't upset, then there would be something to worry about."

"Thanks," he said softly. "You know, I know we haven't known each other long, but I'm gonna miss you." She gave him a look. "When you're out there in the real world healing and then kicking bad guy's asses, and I'm in a bunker somewhere."

"You are not going in a bunker," she replied, looking him in the eye. "And, if they ever try…" she trailed off.

"You'll come get me?" he asked. She knew she shouldn't say anything, but what did it matter? She wasn't a real agent anymore, she knew this was her last assignment.

"Chuck, no," she said softly. His head dropped. "Because I'll never let them put you in one." His head shot up and for the first time since this whole nightmare began she saw a real smile from Chuck Bartowski.

-ooooo-

Ellie and Awesome showed up a few minutes later, and hugs were given out all around. Chuck began to cry, and after a few minutes, Ellie suggested it was a little much and they give him some space. Ellie insisted on taking Sarah to get something to eat, and Casey urged her to go saying he'd stay with Chuck.

Everyone left, and Casey stood there a minute, watching Chuck try to get control of himself. "Okay, Bartowski, what is it?" His voice didn't have it's normal growl. If Chuck didn't know better he'd say it was almost concerned.

"She's gotta hate me," he mumbled. "And so do you, and Ellie has to be disappointed in me."

"Chuck, you were stupid, but neither of us hates you…anymore than we did when we got this job," he added. Chuck gave a snort. "If you think Walker hates you….Christ this is going to be hell."

"See," Chuck began.

"Bartowski, she'd give her life for you in a minute, because that's how important you are," Casey growled.

"I know, I'm the Intersect-"

"Dumbass, did anyone say a word about the Intersect?" Chuck looked at Casey for a moment. "For all we know the damn thing doesn't work anymore. And for the love of all that is holy, do NOT tell your sister about the Intersect." Chuck nodded. "Bartowski, we both saw someone get screwed for "the greater good." If you're not the greater good then I don't know what the hell it is."

"Then where do we go from here?" Chuck asked.

"You have to move in with one of us," Casey began. "I think we'd all prefer you and Walker."

"Okay," Chuck began.

"Don't worry, your sister already knows its for your protection," Casey explained.

"Casey, she's got a bad knee and shoulder," Chuck countered.

"I'd take her over you in a fight any day."

"I would to, but most people sent after me aren't going to be me," Chuck said, bouncing his head to the side to make a point.

"Bartowski….Anyone that wants to hurt you has to go through her, and I'll take her over the field, any day of the week, and that includes her current physical condition."

"Why?" Chuck asked. Casey looked confused. "Why me?"

"Oh, God, I am not your counselor, so don't start on me about that lady feelings shit," Casey replied. He stood there a second. "But, you've seen the kind of stuff we had to do, and now, you understand it." Chuck nodded. "When 'regular people' find out…" Casey trailed off and shrugged. "You see us, and that's scary to a spy…former spy."

"I swear, Casey, I'll try and figure out a way to get you back to doing your job."

Casey looked at him for a long second, and grinned. "Bartowski, Walker and my job is to protect you, we're a team, we're all partners. You saved her life. You've had no training, overcame fear, and saved her life. I am doing my job, and that's being with my team."

Chuck nodded. "Thanks for saving my ass."

"Walker would have shot me if I didn't," Casey muttered.

"Still," Chuck said, shrugging. "These dreams," he began uncomfortably and then trailed off.

Casey studied him a second. "It's a hell of a thing killing a man."

" _Unforgiven_ ," Chuck replied. "Clint Eastwood."

Casey nodded. "Watch it again. It will be different now. I don't have a good answer for you. Walker's better at that kinda stuff than I am."

They sat there quietly for a minute. "Am I ever gonna be normal again?"

"Probably not, Chuck," Casey's honest reply came. Chuck nodded, tears in his eyes. "But that doesn't mean it has to make your life worse permanently."

"I thought I was gonna die, Casey," Chuck admitted softly.

"I was afraid you were too kid," Casey said, looking away. "You're a good one Bartowski, never forget it."

"Thanks, Casey," Chuck said, and laid there. The two remained silent as Chuck drifted back off to sleep.

* * *

A/N: Oof. That was the hardest thing I've written in a while. Zettel, how do you do this? Thanks to both Zettel and WillieGarvin for ideas and pointers this one. Thank you for giving me a chance with this one. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.

DC


	3. Ch 3, Past Lives

A/N: Still here? Thanks. This chapter...whew. It was a rough one. Listen, I must warn you, there is some language in this one I don't usually use, but, it seemed fitting. Kleenex warning for some of you. Broken Ch 3, Past Lives

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

Sarah sat there quietly, not sure what to say to Ellie and Devon. She had trained for many things in her life, but honesty was not one of them. She was wrapping her head around what Casey had told them. They were no longer agents as far as the two of them were concerned. They talked about resigning, but then the question became who would watch Chuck. She wasn't handing that responsibility over to anyone.

The kicker was the message from Orion. _Sit tight, recuperate, will be okay_. There was no real reason to worry for a while. She couldn't do anything until her shoulder and leg healed. Right now, she needed to handle the situation that was in front of her, her mission, protect Chuck and help him heal, and she needed two doctors. One that was a brain doctor and one that was a heart doctor.

"I failed him," Sarah blurted out. Ellie looked at her. "I yelled at him for not listening. I told him if he didn't he'd end up in federal custody." She looked up at the ceiling. "Ellie, everyone else I deal with in this situation is a blasted coward who would never do anything to jeopardize their own safety, but not your brother."

"Sarah, what happened?"

She took a deep breath, could she do this within the confines of her cover story? "We went to meet with someone to see if Chuck could identify them as someone that committed a crime." Ellie nodded. "I was followed and taken, and Chuck and Casey found me. Chuck came and rescued me, and then he was taken hostage. He had to land a helicopter, that's the short version," Ellie's eyebrows flew up. "When it landed, I yelled at him. Patronized him. I shouldn't have, but I never work with someone with his sense of right and wrong, and normally the people I work with have training."

Ellie smiled."So Chuck was being Chuck?"

"Yeah, best I can tell they lured Morgan and Chuck with a fake vacation," Sarah continued.

"Morgan will be back in Burbank tomorrow," Ellie cut in. "Sorry, wanted to tell you that before I forgot it."

"No," Sarah said, laying her hand on Ellie's arm. "I'm glad. How is he? He does know Chuck is okay, right?"

"Morgan's okay," Ellie began. She gave Sarah a look. "But we both know Chuck isn't." Sarah pressed her lips together. "Sarah, I know someone needs to protect him, but not just physically."

"I know," Sarah said softly.

"Sarah, you have to know how he feels about you. He's fallen for you," Ellie said.

Sarah looked at her for a moment. "Ellie, right now we...I…need your brother to get better, physically, mentally, emotionally."

"And after?"

"I have no idea," she whispered. She made herself focus. "I've had to do things in this job, similar to what Chuck did." She looked up, Ellie's eyes wide. "Oh, shit. You didn't know."

"He killed someone?" Sarah gave Ellie a look. "Well, what else could it have been?"

Sarah took a deep breath. "He killed the three men that tortured him. He saved my life," Sarah explained.

Ellie's eyes were blazing. "Good!" Awesome blurted out. Both women turned to him. "I know, I know my oath, but…"

"I get it," Ellie said, nodding. "I get it." She turned to Sarah. "Then you can show him how a good person gets through something like this."

"How do you know I'm a good person?" Sarah asked softly, tears in her eyes.

Ellie smiled. "Sarah the fact you do what you do and then you realize what it could make you, and you even care how someone else would react to it… that tells me all I need to know." Sarah swallowed as tears came to her eyes. "You barely know him and you risked your life for him."

"He did the same for me," Sarah replied.

"Has anyone ever cared enough to do that for you?" Ellie ask. Sarah's tears were her answer .

-ooooo-

A little while later Sarah, Ellie, and Devon came back to the room. Chuck was asleep and John had a far off look on his face.

"How is he?" Sarah asked.

"Physically, as well as can be expected," Casey replied. Sarah nodded about the other implied part.

"Okay, into bed, Sarah," Ellie said. Sarah rolled her chair next to Chuck and stared at the brunette. Sarah had toppled dictatorships with a toothpick and a blade of grass (long story) but she had never been more nervous in her life than when Dr. Ellie Bartowski put her hands on her hips and started at her. "Get. In. Your. Bed." Sarah swallowed and rolled over to her bed, glancing back at Chuck. "Oh for Pete's sake," Ellie said, exasperated. She looked at Devon and he smiled. They rolled her bed until it was right beside Chuck's.

"This is just for security," Sarah said with a straight face. Casey grunted and left. Devon gave her a thumbs up and left. Ellie stood there shaking her head.

"Think you can travel?" Ellie asked, seriously. Sarah nodded. She looked over at Chuck. "I guess I can manage to look after the two of you at the apartment after you're discharged. What's the cover story?"

"Car wreck?" Sarah asked, grinning. Ellie shook her head. "Do you have a better idea."

"Not really, but what about a doctor having to report those gun shot wounds?"

"We have someone for that," Sarah replied. "Besides I'm a federal agent, it will be fine." Ellie gave her a long look. "You need to be more worried about him."

"I don't think I can be more worried about him than you are," Ellie said, leaving the room. Sarah didn't have the guts to address that one.

-ooooo-

"NO!" he screamed, sitting straight up in bed. Sarah bolted upright. His eyes were wide open, but there was nothing behind them. He was asleep. "NO! SARAH!"

She reached over and pulled him to her as he sobbed into her shoulder. It was the one that had been shot, but she grit her teeth at the pain and held him. His body racked with sobs. "Shhh, it's okay," she whispered softly. "I'm okay."

"You were shot because of me," he cried into her arm. "Oh God," he said, pulling back. "That's your hurt shoulder."

"I'm still here because of you, Chuck."

"Well, that doesn't give me the right to physically hurt you."

She looked at him for a moment and gave him a shy smile. "How about you let me be your baggage handler for a bit?"

"What do you mean?" Chuck asked.

"Look, in my job, I've had to do what you did, I've had to live with it, so when it's bothering you, talk to me."

"Did you have anyone to talk to?" She shook her head. "Does it change you?"

Sarah swallowed. "It has to," she admitted. "You've taken a life." She saw him start to shrink away and she hurried on. "But, it doesn't have to be what defines you." Chuck looked at her. "Do you think I'm a killer?"

"No!" he replied.

"But I've killed," Sarah retorted.

Chuck sat there a minute and nodded. "Do you think you're a killer?" She nodded. "I think I'm a killer."

"You're not," she said, shaking her head.

"And you're not either," Chuck said to her. "I wish your shoulder wasn't shot." She raised an eyebrow. "I just need one to lean on right now."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh my God, really?"

"By the way, when do the ribs stop hurting?"

She gave him a somber look. "That's going to take some time."

-ooooo-

The next morning saw Ellie entering the room, Sarah lying awake, Chuck asleep on her shoulder. Ellie gave her a look but all Sarah could do was shrug. It took about an hour, but the discharge was signed, and the flight back to Burbank began.

They returned to Echo Park and Sarah announced she was moving in with Chuck for his protection. Devon asked if they needed protection and Ellie gave him an evil stare. Chuck promptly fell asleep upon arriving home.

"When does his therapist visits begin?" Sarah asked Casey.

"He can't do any physical therapy until his ribs heal," Casey replied. "Besides, how do you do physical therapy for his wounds."

"Not physical, Casey," Sarah said. Casey looked away. "Well we need to schedule some." Casey took a drink of his coffee. "Are you telling me Beckman and Graham haven't set him up with a therapist yet?"

"He's not an agent," Casey said quietly. Sarah stared at him. "Should I go set up the feed?" Sarah never answered, she just kept staring. "I'll go set up the feed." Sarah followed a few minutes later, out of the wheelchair, feeling no pain in her leg she was so angry. She took her place beside Casey, arms crossed, a glare on her face that could melt ice.

"Walker, Casey," Beckman said in greeting. Graham almost seemed to ignore her.

"General, Director, Chuck needs to see a psychiatrist. What happened to him is giving him nightmares and possibly PTS."

The two just stared at her, anger still evident on their faces. "We understand," Beckman said, throwing the words back in Sarah's face. "Let me be clear Agent-"

"Let me be clear, Diane," Sarah replied. Casey's eyebrows went up in amusement. Beckman rocked back in shock. "We understand that we are not really agents any longer. We understand that you are mad that we didn't kill a decent human being."

"Now wait just a minute," Beckman began.

"You shut the hell up!" Sarah screamed. "This entire op was FUBAR from the start because you two kept a decent and good man in the dark. Chuck Bartowski is the God Damned Greater Good you keep going on and on about. Chuck Bartowski did nothing wrong and we treated him like some kinda sleazy asset. He was the kindest soul I ever met, and now he is broken and we," she said pointing to her and Casey. "Are going to do everything in our power to fix him."

"Are you done?" Beckman snarled.

"Hell, no," Sarah snapped. She pulled out her phone. "I get it, you're pissed the President knows, well guess what, I have his direct number, so from now on, I'll just go to him."

"Now you wait a minute," Beckman said, scrambling.

"NO!" Sarah snapped. "We did things your way, and an INNOCENT MAN GOT HURT! You two fucking soulless monsters don't get it. You consider him god damn collateral damage but he is hurt!" Sarah was nearly panting. "You've nearly destroyed him, and he was good." Tears were falling from her eyes. "You two are so removed from real life you wouldn't know the greater good when you saw it, and that's apparent, because Chuck Bartowski was the best man I have ever met. I swear to you and God, I am going to do everything I can to fix him. So threaten me with reassignment, but I'm not going anywhere." She reached over and cut the feed and stormed out of the apartment...as fast as she could given her current medical situation.

Casey watched her go, smirking. "What she said," he said to the blank TV.

-ooooo-

Sarah came home to find a surprise, Morgan had returned. He nearly Koala Bear hugged her, until she realized her leg was hurt. Morgan declared it a night of reunion which meant two things, Sizzling Shrimp and Enter The Dragon. Sarah wasn't so sure, but the smile on Chuck's face changed her mind. It's when she locked eyes with Ellie she wondered if it would be okay.

The movie began and while Chuck was smiling to start, every blow that landed on someone's abdomen he slightly flinched. She and Ellie exchanged looks several times neither wanting to say anything to embarrass Chuck, but neither thinking this was good for him. It continued until Bruce Lee entered a part of the compound that had many men in two different cells, confined. Chuck went absolutely white, and before Sarah could do it, Ellie reached up and clicked off the movie.

"Hey!" Morgan yelled, oblivious. "This was the good part, tell her, Chuck!" He turned to his friend. "Chuck?"

"They held me for three days, tied by my wrists," Chuck said softly. "That's the part I can remember." Sarah had instinctively pulled him into her, protecting him. "They took turns, jabbing this electric wire into my stomach, my ribs, and then these two goons….they just beat me, Morg. They just beat me, all so some guy I've never heard of could see it because they thought I knew him."

"Oh, God, Chuck, I'm sorry man, I had no idea, I-I…I'm sorry. I love you, bro, and if you didn't come back…" Morgan flung himself on the couch and the two hugged. Tears were running freely down everyone's faces. "You know what, from now on, until you're better, you pick the movies."

"Morgan, I don't know if I will be better," Chuck replied.

Morgan gave his best friend a look. "Chuck, yeah, you will. You're Chuck. You will."

-ooooo-

Sarah lay there, listening to Chuck sleep. She was beginning to realize she was going to protect this man from everything she could, just like she promised Ellie, but it had nothing to do with her job. She had never talked to her superiors like that before. She had never not cared when Graham was upset at something she had done. Ellie's question rang in her head. "And after?"

Sarah had never been truly happy with Bryce. There had been times of happiness, but never truly happy. There had been other flings here and there, but nothing of substance. She looked at the man sleeping on her shoulder and she didn't resist the opportunity to run her fingers lightly through his curls. Since they had saved each other, they hadn't spent a night apart, and she was finding she didn't want to.

It was funny. She had always thought her type was James Bondish as Chuck would say. She was sure now that was not true, or not the whole truth. Since she met Chuck, she had found a tug of war going on in her heart. She wanted him in her life, but she didn't want him in her life, because it would destroy him. But he was here, and he wasn't destroyed. He would say he was broken, but Sarah disagreed. He was bent, he wasn't 100% himself, but at the same time he was. He had killed three men to save them. To save her. It hadn't changed him as he thought. Maybe what she had done hadn't changed her like she thought. Maybe they could heal, together. She didn't know what the far future held, but as of right now, her future held Chuck, and she was pretty sure when it appeared it might not, she'd fight like hell for him. She wasn't sure what love was, if she was honest, but she would fight for Chuck.

She looked down at him, his features peaceful. He had only seemed to sleep well when she was there. Truth be told, some of the best sleep she had had was with him beside her. He kept the nightmares away. She grinned. From what she knew of Chuck he didn't think he could protect her. Yet he had saved her, and he was protecting her from her nightmares. She leaned over and placed a light kiss in his curls. "Maybe we need a real date," she whispered. "Or should I say a second one?" She closed her eyes and quickly drifted off.

-ooooo-

Chuck awoke, feeling something looking at him. He lifted his head up to see the window go up and the ninja from a few weeks ago sneak into his room. He lost it.

"OH GOD! THE NINJA'S BACK!" he screamed, falling off the bed. The ninja paused, and looked as shocked as one could covered in black clothing from head to toe. Sarah leapt up, in a fighting stance. The ninja entered the room and pulled off the mask.

"Blondie, what the hell is going on?"

"It's Sarah," Sarah replied, relaxing and moving toward Chuck.

"It's still Carina," Carina replied. "What happened to you?"

"He saved me from getting kneecapped. That'swhat happened to me," Sarah replied, calming Chuck.

"Sorry," he whispered.

"It's okay…Chuck," she breathed. It had taken everything in her not to say 'baby'.

"What happened to him?" Carina asked in a serious voice.

"He is a civilian, captured and tortured because someone thought he could serve as bait. The only thing he was bait for was me - finding him," Sarah replied.

"You did kill them, right?"

"No," Sarah replied. "He did, saving my life."

Carina straightened and watched Sarah and Chuck. "Looks like I got here just in time."

* * *

A/N: David…what are you going to do? First thing is find a new box of Kleenex. Man that was rough. So I borrowed from Sizzling Shrimp and moved parts forward and now begins Wookie. Some of you are absolutely in love with this, and I am glad, and some are not, and trust me, I understand. I love fluff. Will this one day be fluffy, probably, but I am not going to rush it. So for a while it's gonna be two steps forward, one back, one to the side, a stumble, and Sarah and/or Ellie and/or Morgan catches him. Reviews and PMs while always appreciated, are doubly or even triply appreciated on this one. It's not easy. Take care.

DC


	4. Ch 4, Hidden Issues

A/N: So will this follow cannon? Not exactly. I'll use it as a template, but I'm not going deep into episodes, I'm not going to use every episode. Consider it a map, but we're making our own way in this adventure.

Thank you all for the love, the suggestions, and the encouragement. The PMs, reviews, tweets, everything has been more than I ever hope for. I know it's looking like I'm heading toward some of my normal fallback things. This one is going to be slow. (I know I've said it before but this time I'm really serious) Besides, our hero isn't the only one that has issues, our heroine has some as well. They will be addressed. But first, why the hell is Carina here? Broken Ch 4, Hidden Issues

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, if I did there would be novels, comics, tv shows, movies, and everything else the actors agreed to out there.

* * *

Chuck was sitting in Casey's apartment. He hadn't heard everything that was said but he overheard Casey say something about demon spawn, and Prague. Part of him wanted to know about Prague but part of him didn't care. Sarah and Carina needed to talk, alone. Apparently Sarah and Carina were somewhere in the complex to talk because Sarah refused to leave. Chuck wondered a little if that was because she didn't trust Casey to take care of him like she would, that she was that dedicated to her job, or if that was something more.

Chuck was sitting on the couch, watching some show about fixing cars. Casey was pointing out different types of classics and what they were doing to them. Chuck wasn't paying that much attention. It wasn't that he didn't care about the show, he just didn't care about much of anything right then. He was tired of being frightened, and scared. The whole ordeal was over with and he just needed to move on. The Intersect was over with, and Sarah and Casey were now stuck here with him, and part of him hated that, but part of him, if he was honest, deep down, was thankful that they were there for him. To protect him. One part of him felt like the biggest baby in the world to need to be by Sarah to properly sleep. The other part…he wasn't sure what it was feeling. It was numb, like so much of him.

Suddenly he wasn't numb. He knew that sound, and looked up to see an electric spark on TV. He didn't even realized he was screaming. It was happening again. He was tied up, he was having electricity shooting through him.

Casey wasn't sure what was happening, but he knew what to do. He grabbed his phone and punched in a number. "Walker! He's flipping out!" Not 30 seconds later the door opened and both Sarah and Carina burst in. Sarah grabbed him and pulled him into her arms.

"I got you, Chuck, I got you," she said softly.

"Casey, what was going on?" Carina asked.

"We were watching TV, the guys were working on the electrical parts of the car," Casey explained. Carina grabbed the remote and shut the TV off. "What did you do that for?"

"He was tortured using electricity, Casey," Carina chastised softly.

"Oh, Christ, kid, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Casey," Sarah replied. Chuck was clutching her.

"I'm a damn baby," he muttered.

"Hey, you are not," Carina said, walking toward Chuck, nearly giving Casey a heart attack. Who the hell was this? She squatted down beside him, rubbing his arm. "Listen, what you're experiencing, I've seen trained agents go through the same, even worse. And they've had training, and support from professionals. No offense, you two," she said, looking up to Casey and Sarah.

"None taken," Sarah replied.

"We all know that I'm shit at ladyfeelings," Casey replied.

"You two should have let me die. Now you have no job other than to stay here and watch me cry," Chuck got out.

Sarah grabbed his face, making him look into her eyes. "Hey," she said fiercely but softly. "No. There was no way we were letting you die. And I'll tell you this I would do it again in a heartbeat, knowing I'd lose my job, if it meant I got to save you."

"Same goes for me, Bartowski."

"But, guys, I didn't bring all of me back," Chuck replied. Casey and Sarah shared a look.

"Yes you did, Curls," Carina said, laying a hand on his shoulder. "It's buried, deep inside, where it's safe. We've just got to coax it out. And we'll all do that."

"We?" Casey asked.

"Seriously, Carina, we?" Sarah asked, shock on her face.

Carina pulled out her phone, typed something in and sat back, smiling. A second later, Sarah's phone went off. She looked at it and looked over at Carina in shock. "We," Carina confirmed.

"What in the blue hell is going on?" Casey asked.

"It has to do with me, but no one wants me to know," Chuck replied, trying to stand. Carina and Sarah both grabbed him and pulled him back down. "Admit it, I can't handle it."

"No, you can't," Sarah agreed. "But, I don't know if any of us could."

"So I got a message from some guy calling himself Orion telling me what had happened to you two," Carina began.

"Orion?" Chuck asked, his eyes going wide. "The guy that nearly got me killed."

"The guy that saved you, Chuck," Casey replied. Chuck snapped is head over toward him. "Or girl."

"Felt like a guy," Sarah replied. She looked at Chuck. "He showed me where to find you. He said he couldn't save you, so he sent us."

"Why?"

"He said he made the Intersect and he was upset that it has hurt you the way it has."

"Vincent kept asking me about him," Chuck said softly, staring off into space. "Vincent kept saying that he knew if he hurt me enough, Orion would show up."

"He got me instead," Sarah said, giving him a shoulder bump. "Orion has the ear of the President; now, so do I." Chuck gave her a look. "So, this whole, we're out of the game, maybe we're not, if we don't want to be."

"We're not sure what we want, if we're honest," Casey added. "This whole thing has rubbed both of us the wrong way."

"So I came in last night to do surveillance, and you caught me, but I was thrown off by one thing, what was that about the ninja?" Carina asked.

"Someone dressed as a ninja, broke-"

"It was me," Sarah said softly. Chuck turned to her. "I was trying to find the Intersect on your computer."

"Well, that makes so much sense." Chuck put his face in his hands. "What next?" He pulled his face up and looked at Carina. "You haven't blinked once about the word 'Intersect'."

"I know all about it," Carina replied. "I also know that you saved my friend. Getting kneecapped isn't cool."

"She saved me," he said with a shrug.

"See what I mean," Sarah said, grinning.

"I do," Carina replied. "I do."

-ooooo-

Chuck and Sarah were sitting outside by the fountain. Chuck sat on the edge while Sarah sat in her wheelchair.

"You know, you'd get better quicker if you'd stay in that thing," Chuck said to her earning himself a flat look.

"I'm fine, but someone has to have two doctors for family." She snorted in disgust. "What do they know?" She looked over at Chuck who was silently chuckling. "I mean, it's not like they spent years in school."

"I thought you said you weren't funny, or was that just one of the lies you had to tell me?" He had asked it with a smile on his face, but as soon as he said it, he winced. "Sarah, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

She reached over and took his hand. "There were many things I told you the truth about that night, I'm not funny, and I do like you."

"Well, the first one is a lie-or a mistake," Chuck began, a twinkle in his eye.

"Chuck…." she paused.

"Hey, will you do me a favor?" he asked softly. She looked him directly in the eye. "From now on, since you don't have to be an agent, and I don't have to be an asset, will you not lie to me when you don't want to tell me something, or just say, 'I can't tell you'? Don't tell me stuff you don't want me to know. Tell me stuff only if you want me to know it."

"I like you, Chuck," she said softly. A smile covered his face. "I am sorry, truly sorry about all of this."

"I like you too, Sarah Walker, or whatever your real name is," he said with a grin.

She gave him a look and shook her head. "For the record, that is my legal name."

"Really?" he asked.

"Really," she replied with a grin. "You know, I was thinking, maybe when I can walk all the time and your ribs are in better shape, we try that date again."

"Sarah, I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but is that a good idea? Doesn't one of you have to live with me?"

She grinned at him. "Do you think the date's gonna go so bad that you'll want Casey to live with you?"

He laughed, and then he cringed, because his ribs hurt. But for the first time since this whole nightmare began, he really thought he was going to be alright.

-ooooo-

Chuck walked into Casey's that morning, whistling, feeling good, like maybe, just maybe, he was going to be okay. He took a look at Carina. "No, no, no, no, no," he muttered. Sarah jerked her head up just in time to see it. A flash.

-ooooo

"Talk to me," she said softly.

"Life hates me," Chuck replied. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm sure you and Casey are happy to have your old jobs back, but life just hates me."

"I'm confused," Sarah admitted. "How does the Intersect working mean life hates you, and for the record we're not convinced we should tell Beckman and Graham. We're waiting on Orion."

Chuck went a little red. "I just ah…meant in …general, you know."

"Umhmm," Sarah hummed. "Nothing at all to do with that old agent, asset relationship?"

Chuck sat up and looked at her, feigning surprise. "I had forgotten all about that."

Her lips twitched, the amusement showing through. He turned away and was studying his hand, the red creeping back up his neck. She ran her hand along the back of his neck, and his eyelids fluttered. She leaned toward his ear. "For the record, that is not happening this time." She leaned back, watching a grin grow on his face.

"Admit it, you just like snuggling with me," he said never looking at her.

She reached over and slowly turned his head toward her. "I do, Mr. Bartowski, I do." The words she chose washed over her, and part of her screamed run, the other part put a hand over the screaming part muffling it. Go get him girl.

-ooooo-

Casey and Carina watched Chuck and Sarah on the video feeds. "You must love this assignment," Carina muttered, watching the two outside.

Casey turned to her. "What was that tender, concerned side when Chuck was freaking out?"

"You know I always try to sleep with anyone Walker's even a little bit interested in, for her sake."

"Mmm, you are such a good friend. Hate to think what you'd do to your enemies.," Casey quipped.

"Hush. However, when a guy, a civilian, saves her, and she's that attached already…" Carina shook her head. "The best thing we can do, Casey is get those two healed."

"Chuck's worse than he lets on," Casey said, staring at the monitor.

"Sarah's a walking time bomb of ladyfeelings ready to explode everywhere," Carina countered.

"What do we do?" Casey asked.

"We stay the hell out of their way and help them only when they absolutely need it. This will be messy as hell." She glanced at Casey, then looked straight forward. "Before I teamed up with Walker and the CATS, I had a partner. Went through torture for forty-eight hours. The thing about our training, you know it's gonna end."

Casey grunted, nodding. "Being captured for real, you have no idea."

Carina nodded. "She ate a bullet," Carina said softly. "She couldn't find any peace. She wasn't sexually assaulted or anything, which is surprising, you know?" Casey nodded. "Walker would lose her mind if he did that." She looked over at Casey, needing to change the subject. "You gave up your career for this kid. You didn't give up your career for anyone you loved, or any chance of love."

"They were screwing him hard, Carina," Casey replied. "At some point you have to have the guts to stand up for yourself or you become a soldier who will do anything at anytime and hide behind the, 'it's orders' excuse."

"Turning me on a little bit there, Casey," Carina said, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Christ," he muttered and walked out the front door.

-ooooo-

"Flashing on anything, Chuck?" Casey asked on their way through the compound.

"Nope," Chuck replied. "But those cameras were sold at the Buy More." Sarah was sitting beside him in the van. Chuck looked over at her, and muted the mike. "You must hate this," he said nodding to her leg.

"Chuck, I've been in this spot when 100% healthy, there's nothing wrong with being back up." He nodded. "Besides, I kinda like just hanging out with you."

"That's good, because while you may only take the bare minimum to heal, I'm sure I'll need all eight weeks." She grinned at him. "I mean seriously, you with a bad leg could still outrun me right now."

"Chuck," she said pointing toward the monitor. She watched Chuck talk Casey and Carina to the room. Carina got their host out of the vault.

"Okay, Chuck, talk to me."

"If I screw this up, you'll be stuck in that vault, Casey," Chuck replied, his voice trembling.

"But you won't," Casey replied calmly. "I trust you, Chuck, you're the only one that can do this. Walker is right there with you."

"You can do this, Chuck," she said softly. Chuck nodded and talked Casey through everything. They got out, the Wookie's guards hot on their heels, but Sarah still a bad-ass driver with one leg, got the van in place and got them out there.

"See, Chuck, we trust you," Casey said showing him the diamond.

Carina shoulder bumped him. "We got you Chuckles."

-ooooo-

They were in front of Casey's TV, Carina and Casey standing. Sarah was in her wheelchair, and Chuck was lounged out on the couch. The TV flicked on, and Beckman's eyebrows went up seeing him. Casey glanced down at Chuck and grinned.

"Major," Beckman said, and flicked her eyes at Chuck.

"Right, sorry, General," Casey turned to Chuck. "If you're gonna sit like that, then you need to salute." Chuck lifted his middle finger at the General and the Director.

"Bartowski!" Beckman roared.

"Oh, did I insult you?" Chuck asked. "YOU TOLD THEM TO KILL ME!" he yelled. Beckman turned pale and Graham looked away. "What, are you two uncomfortable? Well, imagine how I feel?"

"Mr. Bartowski," the General began.

"You two are out of this," Chuck said. "If you want me, you two are out of this. Otherwise, I'll just ignore every flash."

"Mr. Bartowski, you sense of right and wrong won't let you," Beckman scoffed.

"General, I nearly died. You sent them to kill me. My sense of right and wrong is slightly compromised right now. Don't talk to me about duty when you lack all honor."

Chuck didn't realize the effect his words were having on Sarah. She winced. She didn't want him to be like this. Carina saw her out of the corner of her eye and gave her a hand signal to "keep your cool".

"Then who will give you your orders?" Beckman asked. Her phone rang.

"That will be the President," Chuck replied. He looked at Casey. "Casey, will you please turn off the video. I don't think we should listen in on their conversations."

Casey turned off the monitor. "I must say, I really enjoyed that." With that, Casey got up and went to find a cigar.

"I need some air," Chuck said, standing up. Sarah started to roll after him. "It's fine, I'm just gonna sit in the courtyard. Unless, you, uh-"

"Oh, no, it's okay. We will watch from the window," Sarah informed him. Chuck nodded, gave her a sad smile, and walked out. Sarah rolled over to the window to watch him.

She felt Carina behind her. "It's gonna be okay, Sarah," she said, placing her hand on Sarah's shoulder. Sarah put her hand on top of Carina's. "I promise."

"How do you know?" Sarah asked softly. Carina looked away, not having a real answer for her.

* * *

A/N: Two forward, one back, trip, fall on your backside….ugh. Seriously, reviews, PMs, hugs, all welcomed.

DC


	5. Ch 5, Realizations

A/N: This is not the easiest thing to write and I find myself second guessing myself a lot. For me it's been two steps forward, one back, one to the side, my prereaders catching me. I can do this, I just don't feel as confident about it as other stories, but that means I'm probably pushing myself, which is good, I think. Ch 5, Realizations

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck,

* * *

It was getting close to dark and Chuck was nowhere to be seen. Sarah grabbed her cellphone, and called Casey. "John, tell me you're with him."

"I've got eyes on him, Walker, he's sitting in the park, watching the ducks," Casey replied. "He's just been watching them for the last 45 minutes."

"Want some relief?" she asked.

"No, I want you to come talk to him."

A few minutes later, Carina pulled up and dropped her off. Ellie and Devon were currently at work so she was using a cane. She made her way over to Chuck and sat down quietly beside him.

"I'm okay," he said, his voice low.

"Not that all this fresh air is bad for you, Chuck, but you've been gone a while. Anything you want to talk about?"

"Sarah, I was going to get a degree in electrical engineering," he began. "Everything I know how to do is based in electricity. There is no way I can currently repair a computer if I freak out seeing a smoldering iron on TV. When you told me about the money, I was thinking I could buy the Weinerlicious and put a computer repair shop there. I can't do it Sarah. I can't. And I don't know if I ever will. They took everything I know from me." He slumped forward, his head in his hands.

Sarah rubbed her hand across his back. "Funny, I don't remember you using electricity or doing anything requiring a smoldering iron to stop that bomb."

Chuck looked up at her. "Okay, so you're right there."

"And figuring out where I was taken after Casey said there was no chance of finding me when I was kidnapped?"

"Okay, so you're right there as well."

"What about how you walked Casey and Carina through that mansion?"

Chuck shook his head. "How am I supposed to pity myself if you're gonna shoot holes in everything I say."

Sarah snorted, but continued to rub his back. "I mean it does suck that you can't watch some of your favorite movies."

"It does."

"And it's just awful for you that your forced to have to sleep with me every night."

He sat up straight and looked at her. He kept his face as somber as he could. "It's the worst. You have this adorable little snore."

"You drool on my shoulder," she retorted.

"How have you done it all these years?" Chuck asked softly. "I know what I went through was…extreme…God, it was extreme, right? That isn't the norm?"

"No, Chuck, it's not the norm," she confirmed. She huffed and ran a hand through her hair. "There are some type of horrors in almost all of my missions." She paused. "Very few of my missions were _get in, get info, get out_. Very few were _sit in a van and gather intelligence_. I was a wetwork specialist. I did some seduction work, but between the two of us, I spent a lot of post-mission time in a very hot shower rubbing the nonexistent grime off of me. I just felt dirty making them want me, though they never had me."

"Sarah, I'm not judging, but-"

"Chuck, you don't have sex in seduction." She had a small smile for the obvious look of relief on his face. "There are long-term missions that some might volunteer for, but me…nope. Seduction is a promise, a tease, sometimes some kissing and some creeps paw a bit, but, no sex…at least for me." Chuck raised an eyebrow. "There are some who enjoy," Sarah searched for a phrase, "the fruits of their labor." Chuck was grinning at her, shaking his head. "Carina lets on that she does often, but I know for a fact she doesn't as much as she says she does."

"So most of your missions required you to either end a man's life, or let him paw you?" Chuck asked.

"Or woman," Sarah replied.

Chuck was quiet for a moment. "Which one?" Sarah turned to him, confused. "Kill or paw?" She was quiet for a moment, and then just bounced an eyebrow. Chuck howled in laughter, and then grabbed his ribs. "You're killing me."

She just grinned and looked away. "There was this woman one time that had a necklace with a chip in it." Chuck turned to her, his mouth dropped. "I will tell you this, I am not attracted to women, but it was my favorite seduction mission until I got here. No one had ever treated me nicer."

"Was?" Chuck asked. Sarah turned to him and grinned. "See, I knew Vicki Vale should have run you off."

"Chuck, after Vicki Vale, the seduction mission flew out the window," she replied. Chuck grinned at her and then looked back out over the ducks. "I'm gonna help you in this, you know that, right."

"I know, but…this is hard Sarah. I never know what's going to set me off."

She rubbed his back again. "What about software?"

He looked back at her. "Yeah, but how could you and Casey help?"

"Casey couldn't for a while, but don't you need someone with a business background?" Sarah asked.

Chuck sat back up. "Sarah, right now, I am not right. Please, let me get this all out," he said, noticing she was about to cut in. "I have reservations right now about doing a lot of things on my own. I mean anything. I also know what I want." He turned and looked directly at her, and she shivered. "I need you to know that you have been there for me, and I can never repay you. I need you to know that I want that second date, and damn it, I'm gonna be greedy and want a third."

"I say your chances of that happening are in good shape," she replied softly. He nodded. "Just say it, Chuck."

"I need you around me, but us living together…I want there to be an us, but can I if I'm not whole?" He looked her in the eye. "Do you still like spying? Not wetwork, not seduction, but spying?"

She thought for a long time. "It's all I know," she admitted.

Chuck nodded. "Sarah, I get there is something between us that we'd do anything for each other, but…but this…you ever see the movie Speed?" She shook her head and he grinned. "There's a quote in there, and I might be misquoting, but 'Relationships built off of intense experiences never work.'"

Sarah stared at him for a minute. "So you think we can't work?" she asked softly.

"No, I'm not saying that, we had something before what happened to me. That date, it was real." Sarah nodded. "Everything since then has been on steroids." She nodded, sighing. "I think I shouldn't live with anyone, or if I did, not with you." She nodded, tears in her eyes. "For now," he added. She gave him a soft smile. "Do you understand why?"

"Yeah, I do," she said, looking away. "Bryce and I…" she looked at Chuck.

"Oh."

"Yeah, we were partners, and it was all about the intensity." She reached over and took his hand. "It was based on…adrenaline, the mission, everything physical." Chuck nodded. "I'm still gonna do this." She held up their locked hands to show him.

"I'm gonna just about insist," Chuck admitted. "So, what do we do?"

"We have an apartment across the courtyard almost set up." Chuck nodded. Sarah looked away. "Chuck…you're going to live with me."

"Sarah," Chuck began

"What I'm going to do is what is best for you," Sarah said, blinking away tears. "I want you to take one room and I'll take another. We will be roommates." Chuck sat there, dumbfounded. "Listen, the apartment is state of the art in security, but if you think for one second I believe anyone can protect you the way I can…."

He turned to her. "Casey came with you to save me."

She stared at him. "Chuck, who was sent after you? Who did Orion say should save you?" He nodded, understanding. "I understand what you're saying, and it has real merit." She was sitting there, her arms wrapped around herself. "I will do this however you want, but you are living with me. In the other room."

"And if I have a bad dream?" Chuck asked.

Sarah looked up at the sky, not sure what to say. "I'm going to protect you," she said softly. "I have to." Chuck nodded, not sure what to say.

-ooooo-

They both sat in silence for a few minutes, neither sure what to say. "There's more, isn't there?" she asked. Chuck nodded. "Let's get it all out there."

"You like being a spy, or at least, you know how to be, right?" Sarah nodded. "I don't know if you and Casey should quit being a spies."

"We don't want to," Sarah replied. "But, we can't trust Graham and Langston."

"But they aren't running the show anymore," Chuck retorted. Sarah gave him a look. "Could you freelance?"

Sarah shook her head. "The kinda capital needed for that…it's not happening."

"I can't go back to the Buy More," Chuck said softly. "I mean I CAN'T. The cage in the back, fixing hardware…not now. I'm in no place mentally to create my own company." He looked up at her. "What would you make a cover company? And please don't say Weinerlicious!"

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Something that would use all our skills." Chuck nodded. "I have no idea," she admitted.

"Me either," Chuck said soberly. "I was thinking, what if we reported to the DNI?"

Sarah gave him a look. "That is a good idea. Do they have time for us?"

"Do they want the Intersect?" Chuck retorted. Sarah nodded. "Okay, so we gotta figure out what we're going to do for jobs." He looked at her. "For the record, I'm gonna miss sleeping with you." He went red, the words registering in his head. "I didn't-"

She leaned over and gave him a light peck on the lips. "Me too, Chuck, but you're right. I have to tell you, this is scary. This is way out of my comfort zone."

"Yeah, I get it, and that's part of it. That many changes at once? That's gotta be hard." She nodded. "If this doesn't work out, I will understand if you want to apply for reassignment."

"Chuck…shut up," she said with a grin and a shoulder bump.

-ooooo-

They returned to Casey's and Sarah explained the plan, and even told them his proposed plan that she had shot down. Chuck didn't have the strength to do it again. Casey gave Chuck a look that he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Can I talk to Bartowski alone?" Casey asked.

"You know what, you do that," Carina said. "We'll be over at the new apartment."

The two left and Casey studied him for a moment. He went and got a bottle of Johnny Walker black and brought it back. "That was gutsy," he finally said.

"Casey," Chuck began.

"No, I mean it, Bartowski. It was the right thing to do, but it was gutsy as hell." Casey was quiet a second. "You want to go back out in the field?"

"No," Chuck replied quickly. "But don't I have to?" Casey didn't say anything, he simply pushed a glass to him, and Chuck took a drink. "Casey, I'm not a spy."

"No, and you'll never be one," Casey added. "Not a typical spy."

"What do you mean?" Chuck asked, confused.

"You'll never be like Walker or I. Hell, you'll never be what Miller is, but…you could be you. You can do things in the field. Two missions and I know that. We have to use you right."

"Would the DNI do that?"

Casey looked at him. "DNI?" He thought for a second. "Deputy Director Tom King." He looked at Chuck. "That's not a bad idea, Bartowski."

"Casey I know you and Carina-"

"You know nothing Bartowski," Casey growled cutting him off.

"I know you two are sticking your necks out for me. Along with Sarah. Why?"

Casey was silent a moment. "That whole thing went bad, Bartowski. It was just so bad." He glanced at Chuck. "Don't hurt Walker."

"I won't, Casey."

"Carina staying with me….She's the devil. I'm telling you." He stared off into the distance, a slight grin on his face.

"I'm going outside," Chuck said, got up, and left the apartment.

"Good, I wanted this Johnny Walker to myself."

-ooooo-

Carina and Sarah were looking around the new apartment. "You're suggesting he work with me?" Carina asked, never looking at Sarah.

"Yeah," she said softly. "You understand what he's going through."

Carina opened the walk-in closet door. "Oooo I could have used this."

"It's wasted on me," she groused. "You know I don't unpack."

Carina nodded, grinning, still not looking at her friend. "I have certain conditions."

"Carina," Sarah warned.

"If I do this, make him start working through things, he might start having those nightmares, I'm not babysitting him."

"Fine." Sarah huffed.

"You can't get scared, Sarah, you are going to be his lifeline in this." Sarah nodded. "Are you gonna bail when things get hard?"

"I've never bailed on anyone, Carina," her eyes flashing dangerously. Carina smiled at her, amusement all over her face. "What?"

"Blondie, you realize what he's done, right?" Carina asked. Sarah shook her head. "He's moving at your pace on this. He's going as slow as you need, because part of you is terrified."

"I'm not in love, Carina," Sarah said. Carina stared at her. "I don't know what love is, so how can I be in it?"

"Now that…that I can believe." Carina studied her. "Would you be happy not spying?"

"It depends on what we're talking about," Sarah admitted.

"No more wetwork, no more seduction."

"God, yes. I wouldn't miss that a bit, but the other stuff…I enjoy it."

"You know it," Carina said. "You understand it. It's been your lifeblood, you're comfortable with it, and I'm glad you're not comfortable with the wetwork." She grinned at her. "The seduction stuff…you just need the proper teacher," she said winking. "So he's going slow, until you realize you don't want to."

"And when will that be?" Sarah asked, a little terror in her voice.

"He's gotta heal first."

"He may never completely get over what happened," Sarah said softly. Carina nodded. "So then what." Carina spread her hands. "Carina." The look on her face was one of someone that would go to hell and back for someone else, she just needed to be pointed in the right direction of hell.

"That," she said, pointing at her. "That right there. That's what's going to save him."

"What? I don't know what you're talking about."

"No, you don't," Carina agreed. "But you will." She slung an arm over her friend's shoulder. "What about us owning a gym as a cover?" She walked Sarah outside, knowing there was a long road ahead for her friend.

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A/N: A big thank you to RobM for an idea or three, so thank you sir! This isn't my typical fluff sandwich. Two steps forward..yada yada yada. Seriously, reviews, PMs, hugs, all welcomed.

DC


	6. Ch 6, Painting

A/N: I usually have some ramble, but this one...I don't. I call this one simply Painting.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

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Chuck sat down to dinner with Ellie and Awesome. After Sarah told her Chuck's plan, Ellie wanted some time to talk with her brother before she gave him her blessing.

"Cold feet, Chuckster?" Devon asked. Ellie turned to him her eyes wide.

"Devon!"

"No, El, it's okay," Chuck assured her. "No, practical," he said looking at Devon. "There's been too much and I need to step back, and I suspect she does to. Ellie, I need to be me, or at least a me I can accept." Ellie stared at him, and laid down her fork. "I understand I may have difficulties forever. They're getting me a psychologist."

"Good," Ellie said. "For the record, what you are doing is the smart move, but just make sure it's not because you came too much out of your comfort zone."

"What do you mean?" Chuck asked.

"Chuck…you know what, I'm your sister, I love you, and I'm just gonna say it," she began.

"I wish you would," and then he shut his mouth when she pointed at him.

"Chuck, you were locked in a prison of five years of your own doing, and it had it's own affect on you. Now you meet this amazing woman." She paused.

"Say it, Ellie."

"I know you little brother, you think you're not good enough for her."

Chuck met her eyes. "Ellie, right now I'm not good enough for anyone." He held up his hand before she could interject. "But I'm working on it."

She nodded. She speared a fork full of mashed potatoes. "And for the record, neither one of use think those three are US Marshals."

"I have no idea what your talking about," Chuck replied, taking a bite of food and chewing.

"Probably wouldn't hurt Sarah to see the psychologist either," Ellie added.

"You wanna tell her?" Chuck asked. He saw the look in her eye. "Oh boy."

"If I decide to I will," she chirped, proud of herself.

"You do realize I have the money to help you two to pay for a wedding, to pay you back for all you did for me," he said looking at Devon.

"Touche, Chuckster. Touche."

"Ellie, I need you to know they will do anything to protect me," Chuck said with complete seriousness.

"Chuck, it's not you I'm worried about." Chuck thought on that for a moment, and when he couldn't come up with a good answer he went back to eating. He had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that Sarah living in the apartment with him, but sleeping in another room, wasn't going to be as easy as he thought.

-ooooo-

They were watching a movie, when Ellie paused it and turned to Chuck. "So the biggest difference is going to be, you're sleeping over in one room and Sarah's sleeping in the other."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said, never looking at her.

"Charles Bartowski," she began. He may have eeped. She shook her head and restarted the TV. There was a tentative knock on the door. "Come in," Ellie yelled.

The door opened. "Ellie, if I'm going to leave your brother alone with you, you can't just yell come in, and you need to lock the doors."

"I knew it was you, and I know you've been watching the entire time," Ellie retorted. "Also you don't have to knock it's your home now." Ellie wasn't looking at her when she said it, but Chuck was, and he saw her face. "You are forever part of this family now for what you did for him," she said softly. Chuck started to get up, but Sarah shook her head. "Use the cane and we won't fight over the wheelchair, okay?"

"Why do I feel like I just took Chuck's role and became a sibling?" Sarah asked.

"That would make dating difficult," Chuck said out loud, before he thought. Ellie and Sarah were both staring at him. "Well, that's my cue, I'm heading to my room, night," he said and dashed out of the living room leaving Sarah standing there looking at a grinning Ellie.

-ooooo-

Casey's TV flashed on. "Deputy Director King," Casey said.

"Casey, I've looked over your team's files and reports. I will be taking over the Intersect assignment and would like you to stay on board."

"Be glad to sir," Casey replied.

"What are your thoughts on Carina and Walker?"

"If you want to keep Chuck then you better keep both of them," Casey replied. "And so you know, Walker and the Intersect have…."

"Casey, stop, I don't care," King replied. "I'm going to make Bartowski a civilian contractor to the DNI what they do, I REALLY don't want to hear about." He flipped a folder open. "Now about the healthclub idea…." He stopped. "I think the best thing is for you and Agent Walker to come to DC, and bring Bartowski with you." Casey looked uncomfortable. "Major, you are my eyes on the ground, speak freely."

"Bartowski in a plane might not be the best idea. He kinda freaked out went he saw some people in a cell during some movie he was watching."

King thought for a moment. "Do you think Agent Miller can provide adequate protection to Mr. Bartowski while you two are gone?"

Casey grinned, "Yes, but I'm going to let you tell Agent Walker." Deputy Director King rolled his eyes. "Welcome to Team Bartowski." King shut off the transmission.

-ooooo-

It was dawn, and Chuck was sitting at the kitchen table of is apartment drinking coffee. He had been up most of the night. He wasn't tired, at least not tired enough to go back and face the nightmares. This may have been a bad idea. Maybe he should have gone to Washington.

Last night's dreams were different. Instead of Vincent and his pals, it was Bryce and Jill torturing him, and someone else, in a mask. The person in the mask kept directing them in how to torture him. They made love in front of him, which he didn't want to see. Bryce kept telling him to be glad he was dead because he'd come and take every girl he ever cared about away from him. Jill held the key to him getting away, but she kept it just out of reach of his outstretched arms.

He felt a comforting hand on his shoulder and he stiffened. What in the hell would Carina be wearing? He slowly turned and saw she was completely dressed. He relaxed. She got a cup of coffee and sat down beside him.

"I'm gonna need you to do me a favor," she said, looking at him over her cup and grinning. "I have this thing with Walker where I like to mess with her about the guys she likes. I usually try to sleep with them.'

"Hot coffee," he said, choking on his.

"Relax, you've been through enough," she said. He gave her a look. "One night with me, and it will be absolute torture for you not to have me every night."

"Who says I'll sleep with you?" Chuck asked. Carina raised an eyebrow and Chuck gulped. "Look, Carina that's not happening, ever. I wouldn't ever hurt Sarah like that."

"Oh, I know, stud. I know. But. I need her to think I wore a short robe and touched you all over."

"Carina I can't do that to Sarah," Chuck insisted. Carina pouted. "No."

"I'm still doing it," she said, as she watched Chuck shake his head. She grinned where he couldn't see him. "Rough night?"

He started to say no, but he realized she was just confirming what she already knew. "Yeah, thanks for not calling Sarah. I know she told you to if I was too much while she was gone."

"If I decide I need to," she began and trailed off. "There's no shame in asking for help."

"I get that, but I can't rely on her for everything. Besides, she in DC, exactly what could she do?"

Carina stared at him. "I have a feeling she'd of found some way to get you though it."

"Don't I have to get through it?" Chuck was looking away, tears in his eyes.

"You don't have to do it alone," she said softly, resting her hand on his arm. He looked over at her, expecting a salacious grin but what he saw was he would expect out of a friend. "Come on, let's go for a drive, I bet you'll feel better."

-ooooo-

Chuck found himself standing on a hillside looking out over the ocean. "Carina, is this okay?"

"Chuckles, you worry about way too much, but to put your pretty little head at ease, yes, I cleared it with the owner," Carina replied, opening the trunk of her car and pulling things out. Chuck came around to the trunk, intrigued. "I know your hurt, but do you think you can carry some of this?"

"Sure," Chuck replied, taking what looked to be two canvasses. Carina grabbed a bag and two easels, shut the trunk and they headed up the hill a little bit until she found a place to her liking. She setup the first easel, took a canvas and placed it on it. She did the same with a second. "You paint?"

"Eh," she replied, shrugging. "Today, you're gonna." Chuck gave her a look. "Chuck, look," she said taking her hand, gripping his jaw and turning his head to the ocean. "You have this gorgeous view, the waves, the gulls. You can paint whatever you want, and there's no one here to judge you."

"Okay," he replied, unsure of himself.

"I mean it's this or sex, and then I've ruined you for Sarah." She had a grin on her face, but it fell when he turned to her.

"Carina, I know you use that as…I don't know a coping mechanism, or something but, not now. I just…I can't."

She nodded, a chaste look on her face, something that Chuck hadn't really seen on Carina before. "It is a type of…defense mechanism. Things get too real in this life."

"Trust me, I get it," Chuck replied. He blew out a breath. "Have you ever….nevermind…."

"I haven't been through what you have, I've known some who have," Carina replied. "Sarah did." Chuck's head snapped up. "It was a few days, she wasn't sexually assaulted, but….she's went through a lot. Me and the rest of the team went and saved her."

"Team?" Chuck asked.

Carina shook her head and smiled. "Nope," Carina replied. "That's for Sarah to tell, not me." She shoved a paintbrush at him. "Paint, whatever you want. Just be, Chuck. You're safe. I promise."

Chuck nodded. "Thanks, Carina."

She gave him a shy smile and lightly pushed his shoulder with her hand. "We got you. All of us."

-ooooo-

It felt like a few moments later but it was nearly an hour when he felt her at his shoulder. She was staring at the painting he had been working on. "Interesting," she said softly. "Tell me about it."

"It's just a painting," Chuck replied, shrugging, but his heart wasn't in it. "It's just…paint."

"Hmm," Carina said. "This the view in front of us," she said pointing at the beach and the ocean. "But this," she continued, pointing at the storm clouds and lighting he had painted. "Is not what's going on."

"It's what I feel," Chuck mumbled.

Carina looked at him, nodded, and reached over his shoulder again. "Not to crap on your ability, but I think this is a man in the ocean drowning." He nodded. "There's a life ring here."

"He's holding on to it, for all he's worth."

"Good," she said softly. "Is there anything else?"

Chuck pointed to two boats, choking back his emotion. "These are people trying to rescue him."

"Okay," she said softly. "But what has my attention the most, is right here." She pointed to the smallest speck of gold in the clouds. "What is that?"

"That's the sun trying to peak through."

"Do you think it will?"

"I don't know, Carina," he admitted, dropping his head. She put her left arm around his left shoulder and her right hand on his right shoulder, and gave him a squeeze. He took a deep breath. "But I know that life preserver and two boats are doing all they can."

"They are, aren't they?" He nodded. "Feel any better?" He shrugged. "Is this the first time you've admitted things to yourself?" He nodded. "That's a big step you know." He nodded, tears running down his face. She turned him and pulled him into a hug. He began to sob into her shoulder. "You're ruining my rep, Kid. You're ruining my rep."

"I'm sorry," he managed to to get out.

"We'll keep it between us, okay." He nodded and kept crying. Carina kept staring at the yellow dot on his painting. The sun was there. They just had to figure out how to get it from behind the clouds.

* * *

A/N: Before you even think what I think you might think, there will be no Chuck and Carina romance. NONE. This is more of Carina being Chuck's friend and Chuck Carina's. We don't get a lot of that, and I wanted to do it. I'll post this when I can, but you know I'm more of a happy bunnies type guy, and this one…this one doesn't have a lot of them.


	7. Ch 7, The Kidnapping

A/N: Okay, so this is the chapter I kinda had in mind the whole time when I came up with the scenario. Heavy is the right word. Ch 7, The Kidnapping

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, I've never been tortured, and no the first half of season 3 is not torture.

* * *

He was walking down the street, grinning. It wasn't a night of Morgan, but it was a night of Chuck-being-Morgan's-wingman-as-he-introduced-Carina-to-sizzling-shrimp. Morgan had already poked Carina in the stomach talking about the delicacies that were about to enter it and Chuck was amazed Carina hadn't murdered him. Was it him or did Carina enjoy being around Morgan? There was really no telling with Carina.

Casey and Sarah were due to be back any time. Chuck had talked to her earlier and she had asked him what he and Carina done. He had sworn whatever Carina had told her was not true. Sarah asked if it was true they were painting. Chuck admitted it was and then the phone went silent. Sarah said they would talk when she got home. Carina admitted she told Sarah that Chuck had painted her nude.

He waited until she got into the shower, and then turned all the water on at once, turning her nice warm shower into a freezing one. What he hadn't factored was Carina running out of the bathroom without any clothes on. Chuck ran into the door and bolted the door shut until Carina requested a truce.

Shortly thereafter, Morgan had shown up and asked Carina if she had ever dined on sizzling shrimp. Chuck had told him not tonight, but Carina pulled him to the side and told him maybe he should try and outing, and she would be right there. There was sincerity in her eyes and that's how Chuck found himself in the back of the Bamboo Dragon, and that's how he flashed.

-ooooo-

"I don't know why all four of us have to be in this van," Chuck whined.

"Is it too enclosed for you, Chuck?" Sarah asked, looking at him.

"No, but Casey won't let me listen to my mixtape, and I think Carina is plotting to get even with me," Chuck replied.

"Well, we need you to flash, and I'm your bodyguard," Sarah replied.

Chuck smiled at her. "Hey, I know exactly how deadly you are with one and a half functioning legs," he began. Carina turned, a grin on her face. "Ignore her, her mind stays in the gutter," Chuck said to Sarah. Casey grunted his agreement. "But how did you convince your superiors?"

"I dared any of them to try me," Sarah replied. Chuck found himself shivering.

"Guys, we have a bogey," Carina said.

Casey rolled down the window as the delivery man for the Bamboo Dragon asked for a Mr. Carmichael. After Chuck paid, and he and Casey bickered, they followed their target. Casey and Carina went in, leaving Chuck and Sarah alone in the back of the van.

"So, we haven't had much of a chance to talk," Sarah began. "I was wondering, the painting…" she tucked her head, and grinned at him shyly. "Am I the life preserver?"

"Well, it sure as hell isn't Casey," Chuck replied. Sarah began to laugh, and then stiffened at gun shots. Chuck turned around and saw an older man in a wheelchair heading for his limo. Chuck jumped out of the van to help him.

"Chuck!" Sarah yelled, chasing after him as quick as she could. Chuck grabbed the back of the wheelchair and began to push him to the car. His assistant grabbed the wheelchair and Chuck turned to see a man tied up, mouth taped, and looked as though he had been beaten. "FREEZE!" Sarah yelled. The assistant of the older man in the wheelchair went to pull a gun, and Chuck slammed into him.

Sarah's mouth nearly dropped as she saw rage on Chuck's face, and a grimmace of pain from his ribs. Chuck picked up the fallen gun and pointed it to the older man in the wheelchair.

"Let. Him. GO!" Chuck bellowed. The goons raised their hands as Sarah pulled the victim that had been tied up away. Casey and Carina came out of the club, guns drawn and began to secure the enemies. "How did he get that cut?" Chuck asked the older man in the wheelchair.

"I pistol whipped him," he answered smugly.

Chuck's face was filled with rage, and suddenly his hand flew, pistol whipping the older man in the chair. Blood flew from the man's face, and Chuck felt the gun being taken from him. Chuck stood there, the rage leaving, shame filling him, and tears falling from his face. Sarah pulled Chuck away.

"What have I become?" Chuck asked softly. "Why would I do that?" He began to cry as Sarah pulled him in. She and Carina exchanged a look.

"I don't know, Chuck," she answered softly. "I don't know."

-ooooo-

Carina stormed into Casey's as he slowly followed, and amused grin on his face. She activated the screen to call the Deputy Director. She had her arms crossed, a storm on her face, foot tapping as Tom King came on the TV. "Agent Miller," he began.

"He needs help, now!" Carina hissed. Tom's eyes narrowed. "With all due respect sir, an agent wouldn't be allowed in the field in his condition."

"Agent Miller, its…complicated," King answered.

Carina's eyebrows went up. "I think I'll go get Chuck's sister and let you tell her that and see how that goes."

"Calm down Agent Miller," King said, trying to get control of the situation. "Dr. Dreyfus will see him but as for the field….if I make him inactive, given the secrets he has…"

"Your superiors will push for a bunker," Casey said softly. "And the President may have no choice." King nodded. Carina shook her head.

"In the meantime we can limit his missions, and don't worry, Dreyfus understands and believes the last thing Chuck needs is to put him in an underground bunker."

"Christ the kid would snap," Casey muttered.

"Agreed," Tom replied. He turned to Carina. "Agent Miller," he began sharply and then grinned. "I wish all agents looked after each other the way you do."

"He's my friend," Carina said softly. "I don't have to many of those."

"Christ more ladyfeelings," Casey muttered.

"Thank God, you don't have any toward Mr. Bartowski," King said grinning as he disconnected the call.

Carina turned to Casey, a smirk on her face. "I don't know if that was necessary," he grumbled. He looked away for a minute.

"What is it?"

"I told the kid he could never be a typical spy," Casey said, not looking at Carina. "Everyone I've really known that's joined the ranks came through like I did, knowing exactly what they signed up for."

"What are you saying John?"

Casey turned toward her. "Maybe I've been naive. Maybe you can make anyone a spy with the right push, the right set of circumstances."

"They aren't making him one," Carina said, looking him right in the eye.

"Agreed," Casey replied, nodding.

-ooooo-

Chuck was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping hot chocolate, Sarah sitting beside him.

"Chuck, listen, it's a good thing," she began. He looked up at her. "You felt bad for hurting him."

"You really shouldn't go out with me," he said softly. Her eyes narrowed. "I don't feel bad for hurting him." He looked up at her and saw the shock on her face. "That's the problem, Sarah. He had that man kidnapped, and I didn't feel bad for what I did, all I felt was rage I couldn't control." He put the cup down, got up, and went to his room. Sarah sat there for a long time.

-ooooo-

She lay in bed, listening to his shower going the next morning. All night she had heard soft crying or cries of terror when he did sleep. It took everything in her not to go to him, but he had insisted he could do this. When the shower cut off, and she heard his bathroom door open, she decided it was time she insist a few things. She threw off her covers, and marched to his door. She knocked and she heard him say, come in.

She walked in and was nearly knocked on her ass. He was standing in front of his mirror, in his pants, no shirt on, examining his chest. His bandages was off, the bruises were still all around his ribs, and the marks on his torso from being burned, made tears come to her eyes. He didn't deserve this, and he didn't deserve what he was doing to himself.

"Remember when you flashed on me?" she asked, walking towards him, slowly. He turned around and faced her. It was all she could do to not trace her fingers over the bruise, to take the pain away. She lifted her head and looked him in the eye. "I killed all those people and I was glad, Chuck, remember I told you that? I used to have to get into a situation, and many times I either had to kill, hurt someone, and usually betray them just to do my job. I didn't feel bad about it, do you know why? They were bad people."

"That was different," he began.

"Was it?" she asked.

"If you didn't kill them, they would have killed you," he replied. "You did what you had to do for the job. I pistol whipped a man because I was pissed off at what he had done."

"You pistol whipped a man who smirked when he told you he had hurt his captive." Chuck didn't say anything. "Chuck, did you enjoy hitting him?" Chuck shook his head. "And you're upset you didn't feel bad?" He nodded. "So you don't enjoy hurting someone, you just did what had to be done."

"Is that what you have to do?" Chuck asked softly. Sarah nodded. Chuck looked away. "I'm an ass, I'm sorry."

Sarah was confused, and stepped forward, and gripped his upper arms lightly. "I don't understand how you think you're an ass."

"I said you should run because of how I am, and you've had to do the same things, on orders," he began. She nodded. "So-"

"Does any of this change how you feel about me?" Sarah asked.

His eyes widened. "No," he said softly. "God, no. I-I…care about you. A lot and I think you're a wonderful person."

"How, Chuck?" she asked seriously. "I've done terrible things."

"But you didn't…." He trailed off and looked away. When he looked back at her his expression had softened and a grin was on his face. "Has anything I told you about me changed the way you feel about me?"

She thought for a second. "Yeah," she replied, and his features fell. "You've been through stuff you shouldn't have had to go through and you're fighting, and that makes me fall harder for you." She grinned at him as he blushed. She pushed up on her tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the lips. She started to pull away, when his arms gripped her, pulling her into a hug. "I've got you, Chuck, but that means you can't push me out."

"I know," he said softly. "I just don't want to hurt you in all of this."

"Chuck, every time you hurt, I hurt, and if you push me away, I hurt even more, so if your goal is not to hurt me, let me in, and let me stay in."

He pulled away and looked her in the eye. "That could be dangerous, Sarah."

She gave him a grin and slowly looked up and down his chest. "And that looks painful. I have something that could help it, unless you're wanting to keep those scars as some kind of macho thing."

"I'll save macho for Casey," Chuck replied, grinning.

"Are you gonna let me apply it?" She asked, the grin turning salacious.

"I think that's a very bad idea," Chuck said, trying to pull away and cover himself.

She turned and left, but paused at the doorway. "Do you really think it's a bad idea?"

Chuck grinned at her. "My decision making skills are questionable at best right now."

"Hmm, probably shouldn't do something you'll regret later," Sarah replied. Her face turned serious and she pointed at him. "Don't push me away."

"Got it," Chuck replied. As soon as she left he grabbed a shirt and began to put it on when his phone went off. He reached down and picked it up and stared at the screen.

"Trust them," the text said. He gripped the phone and looked in the mirror. He didn't completely recognize who he saw there, but he did look familiar, more familiar than he had since before the kidnapping.

* * *

A/N: For those wondering, Tom King is a former CIA agent and the current writer of the DC comic Batman, along with several others. And for the record Rob, 3/4 of that was written before I saw your review. Dillwg said he wasn't sure who was broken, if it was Chuck or Sarah. My answer, what if it's all of them? I don't have it in me to write what Zettel did with (mis)Education, but maybe we can do a cursory examination. Seriously, reviews, PMs, hugs, all welcomed.

DC


	8. Ch 8, Dr Dreyfus

A/N: I'm not claiming to be a therapist by any means, but I've been to one many times…probably not surprising many of you.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

* * *

Dr. Dreyfus looked at Chuck and smiled. "Have you ever gotten a splinter?" Chuck nodded. "Not just a surface one, but one way deep into your skin? One you had to dig out and as you dig it out, it causes pain, and it hurts. A lot." Chuck nodded. "That can be therapy. As we dig to the root of the problem, it can hurt. It can be extremely painful, but once we get to the problem and get it out, only then, can the healing begin." Chuck nodded. "You may cry a lot, and if you do, that's okay. You may feel things you're not used to. Rage, anger, sadness, all emotions that you may or may not have dealt with before on a consistent basis. All of these feelings are natural, it's how you react to the feelings."

"Like when I pistol whipped a man in a wheelchair?" Chuck asked, arms crossed.

Dreyfus smiled. "Notice your posture, you're defensive, why?

"Because I assaulted a man for no good reason," Chuck replied.

"What if Major Casey had done what you did?"

Chuck shrugged. "That would be normal for him." Dreyfus just sat there quietly, waiting. "Wait, are you saying it's okay to slug a man in a wheelchair?"

"No, Chuck, but tell me something, would it shock you to know I'm not sure I wouldn't have done the same thing?" Chuck just stared at the doctor. "What he did was sick, smug, and boastful. I'd like to think I wouldn't but under the right circumstances…" he spread his hands.

"Doc…I-I can't sleep. Not without nightmares."

"Of things that happened during your time of being held captive?"

"Not exactly," Chuck replied. The doctor was quiet. Chuck swallowed. "There were these guys that tortured me," he began.

"I've read the report if you'd prefer not to relive it," Dreyfus said gently.

Chuck nodded. "So instead of the ones who actually did the torturing, I see three different people. Bryce Larkin, Jill Roberts, and this third person in the mask, directing them."

"Interesting," Dreyfus replied. "When you see the first two you named, what do you refer to them as?"

"My ex-girlfriend and former roommate," Chuck replied.

"So Bryce was your former college roommate?" Chuck nodded. "What else do you know about Bryce, and please tell me everything, no matter how painful. There's a reason, and it's not to hurt you, I promise."

Chuck nodded. "He slept with Jill, he got me kicked out of Stanford, he sent me this thing in my head, and…" he paused.

"Go on, Chuck," Dreyfus encouraged.

"He and Sarah were partners…they were…."

"Intimate?" Chuck nodded. Dreyfus sat there a second. "So, we have a man in a mask, directing Bryce, your former college roommate and your ex-girlfriend while you are tied up, correct?" Chuck nodded. "What else?"

Chuck swallowed. "Jill has the key to let me out, and Bryce keeps mocking me. They make love in front of me and it's…bothersome, all this time later." Tears came down his cheeks.

"Does Jill really have the key, Chuck?" Chuck blinked, trying to understand if he missed something. "Is Jill really in possession of the key? Is it hers?"

Chuck thought long and hard. "No, no I don't think it is," he said, having never thought about it before. "I think it belongs to the man in the mask." Chuck looked up at Dreyfus. "Who is he?"

"Who indeed?" Dreyfus said, a ghost of a smile on his face. "How about we pick this up in a couple of days? Hmmm? You might not think so, but you've made some real progress."

"It doesn't feel like progress," Chuck admitted. "It feels like…I'm stuck."

"Really? Tell me something Chuck, you worked at the Buy More for five years, why?"

"Jill broke my heart and I hid."

"Did she make you hide there?"

"No, I chose to."

"So why did you not say I hid, why even mention Jill?"

"I don't know," Chuck admitted.

Dreyfus nodded. "But you do know it's not Jill's fault, right?" Chuck nodded. "Progress."

"What does any of this have to do with what happened to me?"

"Who decided to pistol whip someone, Chuck?"

"Me," he said softly. He looked up at Dreyfus.

"You can't control what you feel, or what happens to you Chuck, what you can control are your actions."

"Progress," Chuck said softly, nodding and understanding. "Thank you, Dr. Dreyfus."

"Chuck, you did all the work, I just listened."

-ooooo-

She stood in front of Dr. Dreyfus's door. When Sarah had asked him how it had gone and Chuck replied that they talked about Jill and Bryce, her and Carina had shared a look. She had stewed for an hour over it before going to try and find Carina to ask her to watch Chuck. Casey, had an annoyingly amused look on his face. He said he'd watch Chuck and now she found herself staring at the door in front of her. She knocked and Dreyfus opened the door, a similar amused look on his face that Casey had earlier.

"Dr. Dreyfus, why are you talking to Chuck about Jill and Bryce and not his torture?"

"And you are?" Dreyfus asked.

"You know who I am, Sarah Walker."

"Who are you to Chuck?"

"I-I'm…I'm his…" she swallowed. "I don't really know what I am," she said softly.

"That I believe," Dreyfus said softly. "Because if you had talked to him, you wouldn't be here right now."

"I did talk to him," Sarah insisted, her eyes flashing dangerously.

"No, Sarah," Dreyfus said with a wiry smile on his face. "Talk." He opened the door wide and there stood Carina.

-ooooo-

The two stood at the pier watching the sun set on the horizion.

"Blondie, we've been through a lot, and I know I'm hot as hell, but is this the part you tell me you're madly in love with me and want me? I don't swing that way, but for you…"

"Carina….knock it off," Sarah replied, no anger or malice in her voice. If anything she sounded tired.

"Sorry, defense mechanism. Shit's getting real, huh?"

Sarah looked over at Carina. "I don't guess I really ever thanked you for saving me back then."

Carina looked at the ocean for a moment. "I never asked and you never really said…did they…did, uh…"

"No, Carina," Sarah replied, putting her hand on Carina's upper arm. "You kept that from happening getting them there that quick."

Carina looked over at Sarah. "I ever tell you about Jessica?" Sarah shook her head. "It was before the CATS. She was captured, tortured for forty-eight hours. She ate a bullet a few weeks later."

"Oh, God," Sarah said softly. "Did they…"

Carina shook her head. "She broke over the simple fact she didn't know when, or if, someone was coming to save her. She didn't know if she'd be there a day, a month, a year…"

"Carina…"

"I'm okay, I just need you to know, this isn't typical me," Carina looked up at Sarah and held her gaze. "This is me making sure he's alright. That you're alright. I know what I usually do, and this…there's no place for that here. It's that serious."

"Do you think Chuck is…" she swallowed and took a deep breath. "Do you think Chuck is suicidal?"

"No, I think he's got a lot to live for, including you, which means you can't do your normal."

Sarah nodded. "I wish Dreyfus asked me what I wanted to be to Chuck."

"What's that, Blondie?"

"Whatever he needs me to be," she said lifting her gaze and looking Carina right in the eye.

Carina smirked. "You know with any other guy I'd just go buy you two some handcuffs and motor oil."

"What in the hell do you do in the bedroom?" Sarah asked. "You know what, nevermind, I don't want to know."

Carina's smirk grew. "You know what he's gonna want. What do you want?"

"To make sure he's okay, to protect him."

Carina took her friends hands into hers. "Just don't protect him from you. He can handle all of it." Sarah started to say something but Carina shook her head. "All of it." Sarah nodded. "Now, how's the leg."

"I'm gonna be fine," Sarah replied. "I'll be back to being me in no time."

"Sarah, you haven't been you in a long, long time." Sarah couldn't disagree.

-ooooo-

"Should I be worried?" Chuck asked. Casey laughed. "They both went to see him didn't they." Casey laughed again.

"Kid, I don't say this often…I was wrong." Chuck looked at Casey, in shock. "I said you couldn't be a spy, what I should have said is, you shouldn't be a typical spy." Casey took a deep breath. "See, I always assumed everyone who entered this world did so the same way I did, knowing what had to be done, and willing to do it for my country. No regrets, no shame, just making the sacrifice for this republic." He walked over and lit a cigar and turned back to Chuck.

"I think in a perfect world that would be the case," Chuck replied.

Casey nodded. "Miller, Walker, and hell, probably hundreds if not thousands of others, found themselves here…I don't know why. I would have done exactly what you did to that slimeball in the wheelchair. I would have. You shouldn't. That's not you, but you can do things, Kid. You can live in this world, but you can make it your way of doing things."

"Casey, how do I trust myself not to do things the wrong way now?"

Casey nodded. "You trust your team."

"Dreyfus said I can't control things around me, I can only control my actions, so here's my question, what do I do when I find myself in my own Kobayashi Maru?" Casey looked at him. "It's a test of all starfleet captains in Star Trek. It's a no win scenario, except Kirk won because he reprogrammed the computer."

Casey nodded. "Huh, maybe that crap is worthwhile after all." Chuck gave him a look. "Kid what did that Kirk guy do?"

"He did what he did best, improvised, changed things," Chuck replied.

"And that's what you do," Casey replied. "If it comes down to it, could you shoot someone to save Carina, Sarah, or me?"

"I mean I'd try and find every other way out of it, but…yeah. I'm not letting you three die."

"Would you feel bad?"

"I'd hope so," Chuck replied.

Casey nodded. "That's you kid. I would pull the trigger, not feel bad, and not expect to feel bad. You might not feel bad about killing someone, but you would hope you would. It's when you don't hope you would…that's when I get worried."

"Thanks, Casey."

"Don't mention it. Seriously, never mention it."

-ooooo-

It was all going well for the next few days. Construction on the gym was going at break neck pace, which given how much the US government was throwing at the project to make it happen shouldn't have been surprising. Chuck was beginning to sleep with fewer dreams, though he still wasn't sure who the man in the mask was. His dreams mostly were about the masked man, who just stood there staring at him while he was bound.

It was a beautiful day, and Chuck told everyone he was going out. Carina, Sarah accompanied him to the pier so he could play video games when Chuck noticed him, and flashed. Laszlo Mahnovski.

* * *

A/N: I'm sure a guy imprisoned in a bunker won't do a thing to our hero, right? I need a nap after that chapter. Reviews, PM, hugs, scented candles, all appreciated.

DC


	9. Ch 9, Life and Death

A/N: I don't know why I'm drawn to this fic. It's not my normal. Zettel and I talked a lot about (mis)Education when he was writing it and I kept encouraging him to think of the light. This is nowhere near as dark or oofy as that, and I'm not pretending it is, but I don't operate real well in this world. I hope you all are enjoying it, because it's something I just feel I need to explore. I truly don't know where this is going next. I know I think about each ep and how this version of Chuck would be affected by it. I go to bed thinking about this fic, I wake up thinking about this fic, I shower and I'm thinking about this fic. It's taking up a lot of room in my brain which is killing me because I know exactly what the next two chapters of Sarah vs Finding Her Nerd is and I want to write those, but my brain is pointing me here. Thank you for going on this ride with me. Yeah, it will end happy. It has to, because I'm not going through all of this for anything less. Ch 9,

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

* * *

"So I hear you've had an interesting week," Dr Dreyfus said to Chuck.

"You could say that," Chuck replied.

"Why is your hand wrapped?" Dreyfus asked.

"I hit someone," Chuck replied trying to smile. "But it wasn't like last time." Dreyfus just looked at him. "He had a gun…at least I thought it was a gun. It was a water gun that looked like a gun."

"Did you hit him just because you saw it?" Dreyfus asked.

"No, he pointed it at me and I told him not to," Chuck replied, looking away.

"Chuck, I need the truth," Dreyfus insisted.

"No one is gonna take me away again," Chuck replied, steel in his voice. "No one."

Dreyfus sat back, and studied him. "I need you to say exactly what your thinking."

"I'd rather die than then ever be captured again, okay!? I'd rather die!"

Dreyfus sat there a second, gave him a soft smile, and handed him a Kleenex to blow his nose and wipe away the tears. "Progress, Chuck," he said softly. Chuck just looked at him. "Progress."

-ooooo-

 _A few days earlier_

After Chuck flashed on Lazslow, Sarah had him with her at the gym, looking over all the construction that had taken place. Laslow had run off after Chuck saw him, but all three agents were on high alert watching for him. Sarah was giving him the tour when it dawned on him.

"Exactly what am I going to do here?" Chuck asked.

"Most of these machines are computer based, so you actually are quite needed," Sarah explained. "We will have actual trainers and need you to run the scheduling."

"Yes," Chuck said, with a grin on his face.

"What?"

"I get to be the office manager." Sarah gave him a look. "No, I'm totally cool with that. You and Carina are such bad asses, you'll have your own class and no one will wonder what one of you are doing back there and what the "pencil neck geek," as Casey would say, is doing on the floor."

She stopped, a hand in the middle of his chest. "I like you just the way you are, but if it bothers you, this would be a good time to start working on your endurance, strength, and maybe some self-defense if that worries you."

"You'd teach me how to fight?"

"No, I would teach you self-defense, if you want to learn to fight you'll have to get Carina or Casey to do it."

"Why won't you, Sarah?"

"Because I don't want to hurt you," Sarah replied.

Chuck grinned at her, and then shook his head as she was called for to take a look at the floor plan. Chuck wandered into the back where the showers were going to be installed, when he felt a gun in his back.

"Don't make any noise," Lazslow said. He herded Chuck outside. "Now, get in the car and drive."

"You know what, how about you put that gun away?" Chuck asked, feeling his heart beginning to race.

Lazslow jabbed it into Chuck's ribs and Chuck grimaced. "I have the gun."

"I'm going to give you one more chance to put that away," Chuck said, shocked at how little he feared being shot vs being kidnapped. Lazslow started to gesture with the gun again. "Look out, Casey," Chuck yelled. Lazslow turned his head, and Chuck threw a punch, catching Lazslow square, knocking the gun out of his hand. Chuck tackled Lazslow against the car, making him bang his head off the door, knocking Lazslow out.

Casey ran around the corner and found Chuck, on one knee, near hyperventilation. "What happened?"

"I'm not being kidnapped again," Chuck said softly, looking at Casey. "I'm not being kidnapped and tortured again.

Casey nodded. "WALKER, MILLER!" Casey yelled, never taking his eyes off of Chuck.

-ooooo-

 _Now_

"So, John Casey was unnerved with what you did?" Dreyfus asked.

Chuck shrugged. "Don't really know," he admitted, looking up at Dreyfus. "I made sure not to hurt him more than I needed to, but I didn't get kidnapped again." Dreyfus nodded. "Progress?"

"Progress, Chuck," Dreyfus said, nodding. "And Lazslow…did him being in a bunker cause any…issues?"

"I've thought a lot about being trapped down there, but for some reason, it hasn't triggered any nightmares about bunkers."

"So no nightmares?" Chuck looked away. "I see," Dreyfus said with a knowing smile.

-ooooo-

 _Last night_

"Just give up, Chuck. No one will ever love you," Jill said to him, staying just out of reach with the key.

"Why don't you give him back his key?" Chuck managed. Jill raised an eyebrow. "It's not yours."

She walked over to the man with the mask, and handed him the key. Jill disappeared.

"You're never getting out of here," the man with the mask said in a digitized voice. "Never."

"What do you want from me?" Chuck asked him.

The man in the mask pulled out the tool Chuck used to use to repair the electric components of computers. He turned it on, and jabbed Chuck with it. Chuck screamed feeling the electric currents run through him again. "I just want you to stay here."

"LET ME GO!" Chuck screamed. He bolted upright, drenched in sweat, holding his bruised ribs. The light flicked on, and Sarah was standing there. "I can't do this," he whimpered. He hated looking this weak, this pitiful in front of her.

The next thing he knew he was in her arms. She held him tight and he felt the tears and sobs escape him. She said nothing, just holding him, her hands slowly going through his hair, brushing it.

"You can, and I'm here. Let me in," she said softly.

"I'm weak."

"Hush, you've endured a lot, Chuck. I know trained agents that broke over similar things, and you are nowhere near breaking. We've got you."

"Sarah, I can't do this without you."

She pulled back and looked him right in the eye. "It's a good thing I'm not going anywhere then, isn't it?" Chuck nodded. "I promise, Chuck."

"Sarah, don't make that promise, you can still have a career."

"Charles Irving Bartowski," she said softly and shook her head. She leaned in and softly kissed his lips. She pulled back. "I want a fourth date."

"You haven't even got a second yet," he protested.

She grinned and bounced a shoulder. "You just made it a fifth."

"Sarah," he tried to begin again.

"Hush," she said, and crawled under the covers. "And none of that separate bedroom crap tonight."

"Fine, tomorrow you go back to your room." Sarah gave him a look. "Sarah-"

"Chuck, let's deal with tomorrow, tomorrow."

-ooooo-

He sat at the table, staring at his cereal. "What are we?" Sarah asked softly, behind him. Chuck spun, looking at her. She still had on her shorts and tee shirt from the night before. "Dreyfus asked me who I am to you."

"You're Sarah," Chuck replied.

"But…" she shook her head.

"What do you want to be?" Chuck was stunned those words came out of his mouth.

"Whatever you need me to be," Sarah replied, staring into his eyes.

"Could you be someone with powers to heal these ribs, because I'm telling you they hurt."

She grinned at him. "That doesn't scare you?"

"Sarah, it terrifies me, but a good terrify, and God knows I could use the good kind of terrify. I just don't know if I can be what you need me to be right now."

Sarah nodded. "I've got you," she said softly. "We've got you."

"I don't see Casey over here at night holding me," Chuck said, grinning.

"I bet he wears boxers and black socks to bed."

"Great, now I'll have that as my nightmare…actually that is great, because anything has got to be better than…" he trailed off.

She came over and sat beside him. She reached over and took his hands. "What do you see?"

"It's some version of Jill and Bryce torturing me but they're being directed by one person. He's in a mask."

"Who is it, Chuck?"

-ooooo-

 _Now_

"Who is it, Chuck?" Dreyfus asked.

"I don't know," Chuck replied.

Dreyfus grinned. "Are you sure, Chuck?"

"I have no idea," Chuck replied.

"I see," Dreyfus said, nodding. "Well, what say we pick this up next week?"

"Have I done something wrong, Doc?"

Dreyfus smiled and shook his head. "Are you trying, Chuck? Are you working with me?" Chuck nodded. "Then you are going at exactly the right speed. Some go faster, some go slower, but it's that persons exact right speed."

-ooooo-

He was alone this time in room. He was tied up and couldn't get free.

"Chuck," he heard her say. There she was, his Valkyrie. She came into the room, knife out. "I'm gonna get you out of here, and then we're going home."

"Careful, they're around here somewhere."

"Chuck, it's me," she said with a smirk. And then he heard the shot and she fell. She didn't scream, but he saw she was kneecapped. The man in the mask was there with a gun in his hand.

"LEAVE HER ALONE!"

"You're never leaving here," the digitized voice said.

"LEAVE HER ALONE!" A gunshot rang out. He saw her grab her stomach. "NOOOOO!"

"She'll die…just like all the rest who come for you," the man in the mask said as he left. Chuck looked around. There was Casey, and Carina, also shot in the gut, bleeding out.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" he was sitting upright, and she was holding him. He couldn't speak. He could only sob. "He shot you."

"Chuck, no one has shot me, I'm here."

"Stay, please," he asked softly.

She kissed his forehead. "Absolutely," she said. She lay down, and pulled his head onto her shoulder, her arm wrapped around him.

"If they take me again, let them, you can't get hurt."

She looked him right in the eye. "Chuck, no one, and I mean no one, is taking you from me again, do you understand?"

"You can't die because of me," Chuck said softly.

She nodded. "And I can't live if I lose you." He nodded. They lay there quietly, until sleep came. No bad dreams affected either of them the rest of the night.

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A/N: I'm not crying...really. Reviews, hugs, PMs, chocolate chip cookies...all appreciated.

DC


	10. Ch 10 Simple vs Easy

A/N: I was gonna post this last night but SalishSea published her epic Chuck vs The Fight which just had me in tears and then happy tears…you say you haven't read it? GO! NOW! ….Okay, you're back, and the amazing Dillwg gave us his update on Chuck vs The Debate…wait, you haven't read it….GO! NOW! ….Okay, you're back, and finally Chesterson posted Sarah vs The Best Friend…I mean seriously? GO! NOW! ….Okay, now those were three happy chapters. I haven't been posting the happiest of things, and while this is a touch of fluff, we all needed a bit of a break. (I like this fic, but it won't leave me alone and my mind is just tired). We're getting to a pivotal moment.

A/N 2: Okay, we got a bit fluffy here because I needed it. (Why did you all let me write this fic?) Also, I lost half of this chapter…but..it kinda worked out, because I like what I replaced it with more than the original part. Ch 10 Simple vs Easy

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

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He grimaced as he bent down to take his things from the washer and put them in the dryer. "I've got that," she said, feeling her strong but gentle grip on his waist, moving him away. "You don't need to be bending."

"Sarah, you're recovering from a gunshot." A raised eyebrow was her only response. "Listen, I can take care of laundry."

"I've seen your boxers, Chuck, it's no big deal."

"Sarah," he began. There was something in his voice that made her look at him. "There's not much I can do right now, and this is it."

"I tell you what," she said softly, a grin on his face. "How about once you recover you do my laundry for however long I do yours."

"But I haven't seen your intimates," Chuck replied. A smirk grew on her face. He turned red, turned around, muttering how he walked into that one, and walked away.

He sat down on the couch, tired from the past few nights of pain in his back and nightmares. Sarah came into the room, and watched him, her brow creasing. "Chuck, your ribs shouldn't still be giving you that much pain. Some, sure, but that much? Come with me," she said, leading him to her bedroom. His eyes got wide. She ignored him, but privately found it adorable. "Shirt off, lay on the bed."

"Sarah," he began, and she raised an eyebrow. He laid down, scared of what might happen if she didn't. She put her fingers along his sides by his ribs. "Is that hurting?"

"No," he replied. "It's more in my back."

"How still are you lying at night?"

"As still as possible, until I have the dream and then I'm thrashing around. Is that bad?"

"You're muscles may be knotting up," she said pushing into his back.

"YEOWCH!" he yelled.

"Yep, knotting up. Hang on." She left for a minute and he heard her rubbing her hands together. Her hands hit his lower back and he gave a half-cry, half-moan. "There are so many inappropriate things I want to say right now."

"Please don't I'm having a hard enough time with this," Chuck pleaded.

"Why are you having a hard time with this?" Sarah asked, reaching the middle of his back.

"Oh, God, that feels so good," he muttered. "Sarah, right now there's not much I bring to…" he trailed off and was silent.

"Us?" she finished for him. She stopped rubbing his back. "Chuck, is that what you were going to say?"

"Yeah," he said softly. "Us."

She grinned and began working on his back. "Chuck, you do know I've never admitted to anyone else what I did at my job but to you? You do know there's not much in my life, physically, I can't handle, but emotions…I'm not good at. You are here for me, and that means more than anything. Plus, you kinda kept me from never walking again, and that's a plus."

"I would have gladly pushed your wheelchair, just saying," Chuck replied. "Oh, your hands are magic."

"You trying to make me blush, Chuck?" His neck turned red, and she couldn't help it, she leaned down and kissed him right behind the ear. "Chuck, you bring everything I ever dared not dream to us, so never think that way again."

"Okay," Chuck agreed.

She sat back up, shaking her head good naturedly. "You're just saying that because you're afraid I'll quit doing this if you don't agree with me."

"Can't prove it," he replied. "Sarah, thank you….for everything. For trusting me, for this back rub, and for just being here for me."

"That's what you do when you care about someone," she said softly. "At least, that's what I've been told."

"Are you saying you care about me?" he asked, a cheeky tone in his voice.

She swatted good naturedly at the back of his head, hitting mostly his curls. "Yeah, you nerd."

"I care about you too, a lot," he replied. There was a commotion outside. "What is that?"

-ooooo-

It turned out said commotion was Awesome's frat buddies getting ready for a road trip to Stanford. Casey and Carina were off on a missing persons case they only told Sarah and Chuck about. They insisted they'd handle it, which she found odd, but she didn't question it. Casey and Carina were taking over the case part of the assignment, Sarah was focusing on protection, and while no one verbalized what was going on, they all silently agreed it was for the best.

-ooooo-

"Anything new, Chuck?" Dreyfus asked

"My sister wants me to go with her to Stanford for a football game and it turns out a professor there….THE professor there that got me kicked out of school, may have worked for the CIA. Casey and Carina told me they have taken care of everything so there's no real reason for me to go."

"What do you think, Chuck?"

"I think it's a bad idea for me to go," Chuck replied. Dreyfus nodded. "What do you think?"

Dreyfus smiled. "I would be curious to see your reaction."

"I was afraid you'd say that," Chuck muttered. "Any other advice?"

"How have your dreams been?" Dreyfus asked.

"Since Sarah and I have talked," Chuck began and noticed the way Dreyfus shifted. "They've changed. No one has tried to save me, no one is there but me and the masked man."

"Where's the key?" Dreyfus asked.

"What?"

"The key that Jill used to hold, where is it?"

"I told you Jill has it," Chuck replied, confused.

"No, you said she gave it back to him, the masked man."

Chuck studied Dreyfus. "But each dream is different, right?"

"Are they?" Dreyfus countered. "Only you know for sure."

Chuck didn't have an answer to that.

-ooooo-

Casey and Carina waited for the monitor to flash on. "Major, Agent, you have secured the professor?"

"Yes, Deputy Director," Casey answered. "We got to the professor, took out the assassin, and found the data hidden at Stanford."

"And the data?" King asked.

Casey held up the disk. "It has Chuck in here sir, before he was to be Intersect, while at Stanford."

"I see," King said. He sat there quietly for a second. "It's a shame the data was lost before we could see it." Casey nodded, breaking the disk in half with his hand. "However you did keep it out of foreign hostile hands so I consider this a win." He started to turn off the call when he looked at Carina. "How is he?"

"The best I can tell, he's making progress and we have no immediate worries," Carina replied.

"And if you see anything?"

"I'll react in accordance," Carina replied. King gave her a nod, and the look he gave her made something click in Casey's brain. King turned off the feed. "Casey, don't." Casey didn't say anything. He went and got a bottle of Johnny Walker, and two glasses. He walked back over, guided her to the couch, sat down beside her and poured them both a drink.

"To those we lost," Casey said softly.

"She was his fiance," Carina said softly. "I didn't get to her in time."

"But you did Walker." Carina gave him a look. "I've seen all the files."

"To those we lost," Carina replied, and clinked glasses with Casey. They drank them down, and Carina put her glass on the table.

Casey looked at her. She looked lost, younger, and vulnerable. "Ah, hell, com'ere, kid." She didn't even fight him as he pulled her in and she cried against his shoulder. "Tell numbnuts and I'll deny it." She didn't say anything, she just wrapped her arms around him and cried harder. Casey put his other arm around her, as it to protect her. From what all he was protecting her, he wasn't sure.

-ooooo-

"So you think I should go to Stanford?" Chuck asked.

Dreyfus grinned. "Nice way of changing the subject." Chuck looked away. Dreyfus took a deep breath. "Most therapists hit on the idea of closure. Closure for you would be to get your degree, to find out why Bryce did what he did to you. Going back to campus really doesn't give you any closure."

"So I shouldn't go?" Dreyfus shrugged. "You're not really helping," Chuck grumbled. "Why does everything have to be so complicated?"

Dreyfus gave him a look. "Why is it complicated?"

Chuck searched for words and sputtered. "It just is."

"Is it? Or, is it easier to say it's complicated instead of admitting everything is frighteningly simple?" Chuck stared at Dreyfus. "You don't want this to change you. It has. There is nothing complicated about that. You love Sarah and she loves you. You're both scared. There's nothing complicated about that. You're having dreams that terrify you about a man in a mask. The man in the mask is the man who scares you. There's nothing complicated about that."

"But I don't know who it is."

"Have you ever asked?" Chuck sat there, gobsmacked. He hadn't. "What's in your brain, complicated, what's in your heart and your fears, simple."

"If it's so simple why can't I figure it out? It it's so simple, why is it so hard?"

"Ah, did I say easy?" Chuck thought for a second, he hadn't. "Chuck, how do you win a basketball game? You score more points than the other team. The idea, simple. But is it easy?"

Chuck laughed. "No, just because you know what to do you don't always have the skill, or there could be other forces in your way."

"Exactly," Dreyfus answered, grinning.

"Doc, about Sarah, you said it was simple," Chuck began.

"It is," Dreyfus reinforced.

"But, what about the whole you shouldn't have a relationship built off of an intense experience because they never work?"

"First, that's a movie quote," Dreyfus said, giving him a flat look. "Second….if love isn't an intense experience are you doing it right?" Chuck blinked. He had no good answer. "Did you enjoy your time together in the cell?"

"Hell, no!"

"Do you enjoy your time together when she comforts you? Do you have these dreams when she's with you?"

Chuck thought about it. "Are you saying I'm having these nightmares because I want her to sleep with me and hold me."

"No," Dreyfus replied. "I'm asking you are your dreams trying to tell you something about your relationship and about life."

"Like what?"

"I have no idea," Dreyfus answered with an amused smile. "But if you have those dreams again why don't you ask the masked man who he is."

"Sounds simple," Chuck replied, with a grin.

"Be warned, Chuck," Dreyfus said, a serious tone in his voice. "It might be simple, but the answer could be hard, and then you'll have to deal with it."

"Progress," Chuck said looking him in the eye.

"Progress," Dreyfus replied.

-ooooo-

"Why the guitar in your office?" Sarah asked as he brought it into the gym.

"Something Dreyfuss said to me," Chuck replied. "I'm making things complicated, and this is to help me remind myself to keep things simple."

"What about at home?"

"You're there," Chuck replied. "And he reminded me that how I feel about you is quite simple."

"You're saying we're simple, easy?"

"No," Chuck replied quickly, trying to head off a blowup. "What I feel, I feel. That's simple, what we do about it, isn't necessarily easy."

"What make it easier?" Sarah asked, sliding up to him, grinning.

"Honestly, sharing a bedroom," Chuck replied. Her eyebrows lifted. "And at the same time it would make it harder." She smirked at him. Chuck walked away. "Try to have a serious conversation," he mumbled. Sarah laughed as he walked to his office. He pulled out his guitar and started to play a few cords. A thought hit him and he began to play. He began to sing, mid-song.

 _Oh take your time, don't live too fast_

 _Troubles will come, and they will pass_

 _You'll find a woman, and you'll find love_

 _And don't forget that, there is someone up above_

He felt her eyes on him. He quit playing, and turned in his chair, facing her, her expression unreadable. "Simple," Chuck said softly. She nodded.

"I think I'm changing rooms."

"Not yet," Chuck replied. "There's one more thing I need to take care of, and if you're there, I don't know if I'll have the dream." Sarah nodded.

-ooooo-

He bolted upright in bed, his eyes wide. "SARAH!" he shouted. Seconds later his door burst open and she turned on his light. He turned to her, shock on his face. "I need to see Dreyfus! Now!"

* * *

A/N: And be a simpllllleeeeee kind of man…be something you love and understand…. The least oofy yet. In the original version he went to Stanford, but why? What did it do for this story? I couldn't come up with an answer, so I switched things up. Wait, did I say he needed to deal with Bryce? Oh boy. (don't worry Dillwg I think this time you'll be happy.) Reviews, cupcakes, PMs, cookies, hugs, messages, whatever, are all appreciated.

DC


	11. Ch 11, The Mask

A/N: I went and watched Mary Poppins Returns. Guys, seriously, it's what we all need. Go see it. It's more for adults than kids. I have to tell you some of you are going to YELL in a couple of chapters, but if I am going to be true to what I have in mind, I'm going to do something you won't like. And again, it will be more something Chuck thought than actually happened. Trust me is all I ask. You know me. Ch 11, The Mask

Disclaimer: Don't own Chuck

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"Chuck," Sarah said patiently. "It's three o'clock in the morning."

"Oh," Chuck replied, his strange mixture of shock and excitement waning. "Oh."

"Yes, oh."

"I'm really sorry I woke you."

"Chuck," she said, a little exasperation in her voice, and a slight tilt of her head. "You've normally woken me up, terrified of a dream. Now you're yelling for me in the middle of the night." Her lips twitched with a grin. "I thought maybe you had decided that stupid no sleeping together rule was out."

Chuck blinked. "Uh, if you'd like."

"Really, Chuck," she replied, walking toward the bed, a bit of a strut in her gait. "That rule is gone…forever?"

"I mean, I had the dream I needed to have, I think, that's why I needed to talk to Dreyfus." Chuck was looking nervous…concerned.

"Chuck, what's wrong?"

Chuck shook his head. "Sorry to wake you, I'll call Dreyfus first thing in the morning." He started to roll over and noticed the lights went out, and then he felt the bed shift and she had him in her arms. "Sarah," he began softly, but didn't say anything else.

"What happened in that dream?" Her lips were against his head, and he felt safe, but he just knew when he told her…

"You'll leave me one day you know," Chuck said softly. "They all do."

"Chuck I'm not leaving."

"I know, you have to stay."

"Okay, buster, that's about enough of that," she said quite forcefully, flipping him over and looking him right in the eye. "You do NOT get to tell me what I will and will not do, are we clear on that?" Chuck gulped and nodded. "Now here's what I know, the last time you had the dreams Bryce and Jill were gone and it was just you and the man in the mask with the key."

"He doesn't have the key," Chuck said softly. Sarah had a confused look on her face. Chuck took a deep breath. "I begin to wonder, why was there a key, I'm not locked up, I'm tied up, zip tied up. So this time I studied him and saw he had a chain around his ankle with a lock on it. I asked him why he doesn't free himself."

"Why didn't he?" Sarah asked, engrossed in the story.

"Because he didn't have the key." He looked at her. This was his last chance to stop. From here on in, it was all or nothing. "I had the key," he said softly.

"How, you saw Jill give him the key, he directed Jill and Bryce to torture you, and Jill gave him the key. How the hell do you have the key?"

"I asked him who he was." Sarah was barely breathing. "He just laughed and said I knew." Sarah shook her head slightly, still confused. "He showed me the tool in his hand and said he could free me, but I was safe in here. No one else could hurt me. The real world couldn't hurt me."

"Who is he?"

Chuck looked down and then looked her in the eyes. "He cut my bindings, I got free and I unlocked his chain. He told me not to go. It wasn't safe. He told me to stay there, that he didn't mean to hurt me but it was safer with him then out there." He looked away. "That's when I knew who it was, Sarah." He turned back to her. "People leave me Sarah, that's what they do. One day you will. The person who had me was just trying to keep me safe."

"Chuck, who was under the mask?"

"Me."

-ooooo-

Chuck was at therapy and so was Sarah…in the gym…beating a heavy bag half to death.

"He was under the goddamn mask, Carina. He was! And he thinks I'm going to leave him, because everyone else does! How am I supposed to prove to him that I won't?"

"Don't leave," Carina replied, shrugging. Sarah stopped and looked at her, slack jawed. Carina grinned. "It's a good thing no one else around him hides behinds masks, isn't it."

"I am not HIDING!"

"No, you're not now," Carina said stepping up to her inches between them. "Sarah, we both know you want to."

"If I do…"

"Don't," Carina said softly but intensely. "If you do, it will end him. He is out here now, vulnerable, afraid, and scared. Do not leave him alone."

"I won't, but he's got you, Carina, and John, and all his friends."

"Sarah, none of us added together matter as much as you. Ask yourself something, for five years he's been in the Buy More, and now after being kidnapped, his self-conscious is telling him to leave its safety, when his world is more dangerous than ever. Why?"

"Me," she said softly, swallowing.

"Sarah, you can't hide, not this time. You can't become Graham's enforcer. Become who you are, be the person who has the strength to save him, because if you don't…."

"I won't just lose him, the world will?" Sarah asked. Carina nodded, tears in her eyes. Sarah pulled her in for a hug. She blamed Chuck for this. Not that he taught her how to be this way, just reminded her that she could.

-ooooo-

After a shower and a change of clothes, Sarah walked into Carina's office. "Carina, this whole thing…it's not me."

"I know Blondie…I know." Carina grinned at her. "He got to you, he nearly died, and you became mother bear protector." Sarah nodded. "Have you actually gone out on a date yet?" She shook her head no. Carina shook her head and laughed. "I don't believe I'm saying this. Stay in your room." Sarah's eyes got huge. "Listen, sex you can handle." Sarah looked away but nodded. "Protecting him, you can handle." She turned back and nodded. "Being a…what? Girlfriend?"

"I have no damn idea," Sarah admitted. "NONE."

"Let me ask you an honest question, have you ever been on a real date?" Sarah looked away. "So into the agency before you had one, a number of one night stands-"

"They weren't all one night…but yeah."

"Then Bryce."

"Let's skip that."

"Agreed. So no dating before the agency." Sarah shook her head. "And the 'not' one night stands?" Sarah shrugged and shook her head. "So the only 'dates' you've been on are for missions. Either as part of a cover couple or to seduce?" Sarah nodded. "If I may borrow one of Casey's phrases, 'Christ, Walker.'"

"He's gonna want so much," Sarah began.

"Sarah," Carina cut in. Sarah looked at her. "It's Chuck. Like I said, anyone else, I'd get you two some olive oil and a whip."

Sarah stared at her. "Is your entire goal to make men cry in the bedroom?" Carina shrugged. "Changing subjects. I've been thinking of teaching Chuck Aikido."

"You just want him to flip you in the bedroom," Carina muttered smirking.

"Can you focus, please?" Carina shook her head no and Sarah rolled her eyes. "I need you to teach him how to fight. I just can't, and you're the only person I trust enough." Carina nodded, her eyes dancing. Sarah blew out a breath. "Go ahead, say it."

"Just promise me when he tells you how much I made him tap, you understand he's not tapping this ass." Sarah threw her hands in the air and walked away.

"This is what I get for trying to be kind earlier."

"Love you too, Blondie," Carina called after her.

-ooooo-

Chuck lay on the couch not saying anything. "You know you don't actually have to lay down?" Dreyfus asked, amusement in his voice.

"I know, it's just…comfortable." He was quiet. "You knew the whole time, didn't you? That it was me?"

"I suspected."

"Ellie said to me I was locked in a prison for five years of my own doing."

"She is a wise woman," Dreyfus replied, waiting, as the norm, for Chuck to come to his next conclusion.

Chuck blew out a frustrated breath. "She's going to leave me…Sarah that is. I just know she is."

"Have you two been…intimate?"

"NO!" Chuck replied, sitting up and spinning all at once. Dreyfus was grinning. "What?"

"I just find it…humorous, and I guess I shouldn't."

"I'm gonna need you to break that down for me, and please don't make me figure it out because it will take months if not years."

"Haven't you two been intimate?" Chuck narrowed his eyes. "Not sex, although I don't think it would be just sex, do you?" Chuck swallowed and turned a little red. "My guess is you have both show each other who you are, and it scares you."

"She's handling it much better than I am," Chuck muttered.

"Is she?" Chuck looked at him, confused. "Chuck, who does she have? Who has she opened up to? Another spy? Spies keep everything locked away because they believe emotions can cause problems in the field."

"That's stupid," Chuck replied. "Casey constantly has emotions. He loves his country and he enjoys doing what he does because of it. He gets a sense of pride. If that's not emotions or feelings I don't know what is."

"Careful, Chuck, or I'll think you're angling for my job." Chuck laughed. "You are absolutely right. Would you want a mercenary working to protect you or someone who cares?"

"Someone who cares," Chuck replied. "Actually I wouldn't want anyone protecting me if it's possible."

"Why?"

"Because someone is in danger because of me."

Dreyfus leaned forward. "Do you think if you told Sarah to stop protecting you and your superiors agreed with you, that she would?"

"No," Chuck admitted. He thought for a minute and slumped against the couch. "I need to tell her she probably shouldn't move into my room."

"Good luck with that," Dreyfus replied. Chuck looked at him wide eyed. Dreyfus shrugged. "I have a feeling she's going to do exactly what she wants." He gave Chuck a pointed look.

"Are you implying I'm what she wants?" Chuck asked.

Dreyfus chuckled. "She came to my house to yell at me because I wasn't getting you better quick enough, what do you think?"

Chuck dropped his chin to his chest. "I'm in so much trouble."

"Yes, you are," Dreyfus replied. Chuck looked at him, bugged eyed. Dreyfus shrugged. "My job here is to tell the truth no matter how much it hurts."

-ooooo-

Chuck sighed and sat down at the kitchen table, an ice pack on his shoulder. Sarah walked into the kitchen, saw him, and sat down.

"What's wrong?"

"Remember how you wanted Carina to train me in fighting?" Sarah nodded. "She kept showing me an arm bar today. She's crazy. She kept telling me to tap, and when I did she'd just laugh."

"I really hate her," she groused in a low voice. She noticed Chuck giving her an inquisitive look. "So about the sleeping arrangements."

"We shouldn't sleep together," Chuck blurted out quickly. Sarah sat there, shocked. "Listen, it's not that I don't want you to, but if you do, you know as well as I do what's gonna happen." He was trying not to turn red but felt it moving up his neck. "At least I'm guessing….."

"No, you're not wrong," she admitted. Chuck nodded.

"So we've both been through a lot, and I don't know about you, but I kinda suck at relationships."

"I'm not sure I've ever had one," Sarah admitted.

Chuck stared at her. "Sorry, I just thought…you know what, that's what I get for assuming. And I'm not asking for details about your life, but while we know each other, we don't know so much and I don't want to rush this. I don't want to pressure you. I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything. I want you to go at a speed you're comfortable with and know, I'm here for you. I know I've depended on you a lot here lately, and as your baggage handler, I haven't done the best job." She laughed at him and smiled. He reached over and took her hand. "When we're both ready, at least that's what I'd like to do."

Sarah smiled at him. "I was gonna suggest the same thing."

He gave her a flat look and she giggled. "You let me go down that whole road?"

She shrugged. "You're better at words than I am."

"And you're better at actions," he replied.

She gave him a look. "Your sister, Carina, and I are going for a girls night." She stood up and gave him a smirk. She leaned forward. "I am better at actions." She walked to the kitchen door, and looked back over her shoulder. "Don't you forget it." With that she walked away.

"Don't think I'll ever get that out of my brain," he choked out.

* * *

A/N: Fezzywhigg…I'm sorry. There's a reason I'm doing what I'm doing. Reviews, cupcakes, PMs, cookies, hugs, messages, whatever, are all appreciated.

DC


	12. Ch 12, The Date

A/N: Thanks Dillwg, and Rob…have you hacked into my computer? I mean…seriously?

Disclaimer: Don't own Chuck

* * *

Chuck awoke, trying to figure out why his shower was running. Casey had stayed with him for a while, and was still there when Chuck went to bed. Maybe Sarah hadn't come back last night and crashed at his place, or Ellie's, but if she did why would Casey use his shower? He heard the shower stop and a second later, the door opened. His eyes were barely open, and then they were wide. Sarah had apparently been using his shower and now was wearing only a towel.

"Sarah!" he hissed.

"Sorry, Carina's in the one in the hallway, I just fell into bed last night and I needed to feel human."

"Okay," he squeaked.

"Is something wrong, Chuck?" His eyes were wide, trying to look at her face, she glanced down, then back at him, and smirked. "You know I am a woman of action."

"Oh, god," he whimpered. She was in nothing but a towel…a short towel. It covered everything but…her hair was still damp and Chuck was beside himself. "I'm REALLY trying to be respectful here."

"Chuck," she said, her face soft and a content look on it. "Thanks." With that, she headed out the door. He collapsed back against his pillow. He thought a shower would be nice himself. He got up, headed to the bathroom, and got in the shower, ignoring Sarah's clothes on the floor. "Sorry," her voice came a minute later. "Forgot my clothes."

"SARAH!" he yelled. Suddenly the water turned ice cold and he leapt back, tripped over the side of the tub, and came crashing to the ground right in front of a surprised Sarah, the shower curtain tangled around him. Her eyes were wide as she tried to keep her eyes on his face.

"GOT YOU ….back," Carina began to yell but stopped when she saw the mess in front of her. "Whoops," she said as Sarah turned back to her, glaring.

-ooooo-

"So why was Carina spending the night last night?" Chuck asked. They were sitting in the deli in the mall, trying to have lunch together. Chuck asked her if it was a date, and she said that was up to him, she already knew what it was. He grinned at her and told her he did as well.

"So Carina drank too much last night, and was scared to go back to Casey's," Sarah explained.

Chuck nearly dropped his sandwich. "Are you saying….I can't even finish that sentence." He looked over at the board. "Crap," he muttered.

"Flash?" Sarah asked.

"Yeah," Chuck replied, and picked up his sandwich. Sarah gave him a look. "What? We'll tell Casey and Carina about it, they'll tell the deputy director and those two will do something about it, right?"

"Yeah," she said with a soft smile on her face. "Hey, I didn't tell you but some gymnast killed a dude with poison. He planted a tracker on the guy he killed, and they back traced the signal."

"Okay," Chuck said, totally confused.

"Wait, it gets good," she said, getting excited. "The poison acts as a truth serum as well."

"You want to poison Casey and Carina?" Chuck asked. Sarah shrugged. "I know you're a spy, and that's kinda normal for you, but you have to see the problem with that, right?"

"What, we have the antidote, it will be fine."

"And none of you are trained to withstand truth serum?"

"I mean, yeah, but eventually they'd crack." Chuck's eyes nearly bugged out of his head, and Sarah's eyes began to water from holding back the laugher. "Oh my God! I wish you could see your face! You actually thought I was serious. You actually thought I'd poison them just to find out if they had feelings for each other?"

Chuck shook his head, laughing. "I bought that one hook, line, and sinker, didn't I?"

"Yeah you did," she said with a grin.

"We could go on a double date with them," Chuck offered.

Sarah blinked. "I mean if you don't want to date me any more all you had to do was say so," she muttered. They both burst out laughing.

-ooooo-

"So you flashed on the club?" Casey asked. Chuck nodded. "Walker's going to get Carina?"

"Yeah she's been at our place," Chuck replied. He gave Casey a look. "Something going on between you two?"

Casey just gave Chuck a look, and Chuck threw his hands up in the air. Chuck heard humming and looked up. It was Casey humming. He was humming "Let Her Cry" by Hootie and the Blowfish.

Chuck grinned, and softly sang, "And just let her cry, if the tears fall down like rain."

Chuck nearly fell over when Casey picked up the next verse, "Let her sing if it eases all her pain." The door opened and Carina and Sarah walked in but Casey didn't notice and just kept singing. "Let her go, let her walk right out on me. And if the sun comes up tomorrow, let her be, let her be." He turned and saw the shocked look on Sarah's face. What was on Carina's was indescribable. "What? I wasn't hatched."

-ooooo-

Chuck and Sarah walked out of the movie. Casey and Carina had gone to the club and decided to simply tail the club owner and his father. Chuck and Sarah had gone to the dollar theater to see Resident Evil: Extinction.

"Will those things give you nightmares tonight?" Sarah asked, grinning.

"Nah, I wasn't scared," Chuck replied.

"Yeah, then why were you buried in my shoulder?"

"Ever thought I was just trying to get close to you, Sarah?" Chuck asked with a grin.

She put an arm around him and pulled herself tight to him. "This is nice," she said softly. "I guess I now get why you didn't want us staying in the same apartment."

"Yeah, why's that?"

"I mean it's silly."

"Sarah, I don't care how silly it is, if it's about you then I'd like to know….if you can tell me."

"So," she said, tucking hair behind her ear, and grinning. "God, you're gonna think I'm an idiot."

"I promise I won't."

She looked at him. "I'm trusting you, Buster."

"Scout's honor, Sarah.

"Okay, so I never really dated in high school, so the only dates I had were on missions with marks or it was posing as someone with another agent." She paused. "God this is stupid."

"Trust me," he said softly. She looked him in his eyes. "I mean at this point, I'm desperate to know."

"I just have always wondered what it would be like, for some guy I know, that I really like, to take me to my door and kiss me goodnight, and leave, with me wanting more, and him wanting more, and knowing I'd see him soon, because I want to. I want to know what an actual date feels like. Missing someone. It's stupid."

"No," Chuck insisted. "No it's not, and if that's what you want, that's what you're gonna get."

"Chuck we have to go into the apartment together," Sarah reminded him.

"You trust me?" She gave him a look. "I promise I'll do nothing that will put me in danger."

"Okay," she replied. She didn't say anything else about it on the way home and she hid her disappointment when they went in the front door. Chuck grinned as he took her hand and led her to her bedroom door.

"Sarah," he said, making her give him a look. What was he doing? "I just wanted to thank you for tonight, and if it's okay with you, I'd like to do it again sometime, if you'd like."

She smiled at him. "I would like it," she replied shyly.

"Would it be okay if I kissed you goodnight?" he asked her softly.

The smile on her face gave him her answer. He leaned down and gently kissed her. He started to pull away, when she grabbed him by the shirt, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed him like her life depended on it.

She pulled away after a minute. "Sorry, got carried away, I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."

"Completely comfortable on my end," Chuck replied softly. He gently kissed her. "Good night," he said, turned, and fled into his room, leaning against the door.

"You know if I wanted to come in there I could," her heard her voice through the door.

"I'm aware!"

-ooooo-

Casey and Carina had followed their marks to the docks, and called in back up. The team had gone over the container they had found and was preparing to open it.

"Are they gonna get to mixing things anytime soon?" Casey asked.

"What does the team need to mix?" Carina asked, confused.

"Walker and Bartowski," Casey grunted.

"You're rooting for them."

"Maybe," Casey admitted. The lid came off the container. "I swear I killed that son of a bitch."

"Damn it," Carina said, truly upset. "This is gonna mess with Chuck's head."

They both stared at Bryce. "What about Walker's libido?" Casey asked.

"Damn it," Carina muttered.

-ooooo-

Chuck door opened in the middle of the night and then closed. He lay there, having heard it all. He was having trouble sleeping from thinking about Sarah. "Couldn't sleep thinking about me either?"

"About time you admitted it, Curls," Carina said, flipping on his bedside light and ruffling his hair.

"Carina!"

"Calm down, Chuck," Carina said, sitting down in the bed beside him. "We have important stuff to talk about."

"Such as?" Chuck asked, pulling the sheet over his bare chest.

Carina pulled it down and gave him the once over. "Nice, Curls."

"Will you knock it off, Sarah and I had a big night and I don't need you ruining it!"

"What happen?" she asked, her voice changing. Chuck looked at her. She was serious.

"Sarah said no one had ever walked her to her door and kissed her goodnight," Chuck explained. "So I walked her to her bedroom door, kissed her goodnight, then she really kissed me, and I fled in here. I've had trouble sleeping ever since."

She got up off the bed. "Okay, up and at em," Carina said, motioning him to stand. He did, and she made a turnaround sign with her finger. He turned around. "This hurt?" Carina asked, feeling his ribs. "What about this?" she asked, squeezing them a bit.

"No, what are you doing?"

"Making sure your ready," Carina replied.

"Ready for what?" Chuck asked.

Carina grinned. "For when she gets over her fears and decides to use you for ever thing she has ever dreampt of out of a lover."

"Oh, God," Chuck replied.

"Yep, you'll be saying that a lot," Carina said, grinning. "But not right now. Right now I have to tell you something. That class you took with the professor at Stanford was a class to find students for the CIA. You were gonna be recruited, and Bryce got you kicked out of that class along with the professors help. Neither of them thought you could handle the CIA life."

"WHAT?"

"Listen, Curls, we don't have time for you to freak out, we have to get you to Dreyfus."

"Why do you have to get me to Dreyfus, it's the middle of the night! Why are you telling me about Bryce?"

The door opened and Sarah walked in. Carina looked from one to the other. "Shit," she said softly.

"Carina, what is it?" Sarah asked.

"Bryce is alive. Bryce is alive and wants to talk to Chuck."

Chuck sat down on the bed, and Sarah came over beside him and took his hand.

"Hey, it's okay."

Chuck's head was buried in his hands. "He kept telling me in the dream that to be glad he was dead or he'd keep taking every woman I ever cared about away from me."

"He's not taking me away from you," Sarah said to him. Chuck looked up at her. "Please, trust me."

"Everyone leaves me, Sarah," Chuck said softly.

Sarah started to speak, but Carina grabbed her arm gently and pulled her up. "Get dressed, Blondie, I'll take care of Chuckles." Sarah gave her a look. "No, Sarah," Carina said, shaking her head and serious. "There's not time for this crap. We need to get him to Dreyfus."

"Why?"

"Because Bryce is alive and Graham wants back in on this op."

"WHAT?!"

"So far he's not, but we need to get Chuck to Dreyfus."

Sarah looked at Chuck. "Hey, I'm not leaving you. I'm gonna get dressed and we're going, okay?"

Chuck didn't reply and Carina shooed Sarah out. She shut the door and turned to Chuck. "Okay, Curls, it's time for us to have a come to Jesus meeting."

* * *

A/N: I swore I wasnt writing this weekend. Obviously I'm a liar. Plus I uploaded it with my iPad which was an adventure in itself. Thanks for coming on this ride guys. Reviews, PMs, or wharever appreciated. Taked care.

DC


	13. Ch 13, Trust Her

A/N: *reads reviews…hangs head* Remember when I said some of you were gonna hate me? A couple of you have said, almost fixed. It's that almost that can be a bear. We're gonna finish fixing him, and remember to get to the root of the problem it's gonna hurt…at least Rob will be happy with this chapter… Ch 13, Trust Her

Disclaimer: Don't own Chuck

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Carina began to say something when her phone rang. She answered it, kept glancing at Chuck, and ended the conversation with an, "understood." She hung up and turned toward his closet, grabbing clothes and throwing them at him. "We haven't got time," Carina grumbled. "So many missed opportunities here. So many jokes about your narrow ass, an opportunity to see your narrow ass…"

"Probably best you don't," Chuck replied, making Carina turned. "Can't have you fantasizing about me while your driving Casey crazy."

Carina stopped and walked toward him. "You got jokes, Curls." She grinned at him, reached up, and moved a curl off of his forehead.

His hand came up and gently gripped her wrist. "We're friends, Carina, at least I consider you one, with all you've done for me." She smiled, almost shyly. "I know I need to do better with Sarah, but damn it, shes so amazing, I feel like I'm out of her league, and each time I think I've got this under control-"

"Something rises from the dead to deal with that make things hard," Carina said. Chuck gave her a flat look and then she glanced down at his boxers and gave a slight grin.

"Really?"

"Hey, if we're gonna be friends you have to understand there will be inappropriate jokes."

"No benefits," Chuck said, staring her in the eye.

She winked at him. "Don't worry, Chuck, if Sarah leaves, I'll make sure you're comforted every night."

Chuck stepped toward her making her gasp. "But what if I ruin you for everyone else?" With that he walked past a stunned Carina, grabbed his stuff, and went into the bathroom. Carina walked out of the room, and opened Sarah's door, not even bothering to knock.

"Do you know your man, the one who trips and blushes, and spirals about everything he ever says to you, just said if I tried to comfort him he might ruin me for everyone else. He then had the gall to grab his clothes and walk away, completely unbothered, while I stood there slack-jawed." Sarah grinned. "Rub it in, Blondie." Sarah smirked as she reached down to tie her orange Chucks. "We'll get him through this." Sarah just looked up at her, a smirk plastered on her face. "Dear God, I have created monsters. Okay, since I have to be professional, and that's a bad sign, Graham has been slapped down. He won't be interfering in operation Sarah Get Some."

"That would be the _joint_ op with DNI civilian contractor Chuck Bartowski, right?"

"Wow, the nerd has rubbed off on you,"Carina said shaking her head, and then began to flee the room as Sarah started to speak. "Dontsayitdontsayitdontsayit."

"Not yet," she called out after Carina.

-ooooo-

"That was King, Dreyfus thinks it would be better if you go see Bryce first, and then see him," Carina said. Chuck and Sarah shared a look. "Yeah, I think it's a bad idea too, but really, what can go wrong?" Chuck and Sarah shared another look.

-ooooo-

Chuck lay on the couch, not saying a word.

"Where should we begin?" Dreyfus asked a couple of hours later.

"I think what Sarah taught me defensively and Carina taught me offensively was a good combination," Chuck said softly.

"What does Bryce think? Dreyfus asked. Chuck slowly turned toward him, a mixture of embarrassment and irritation on his face.

-ooooo-

 _Earlier_

"You want me to go in there and say, what exactly?"

"I think you should tell Larkin you and Walker are mixing you chocolate and peanut butter," Casey said straight faced. "That ought to throw the smug son-of-a-bitch off of his game."

"You're trying to make him hungry?" Chuck asked. Carina whispered into his ear. "Really?" Carina nodded. "That's an odd euphemism. You'd think as patriotic as Casey is he would have used, 'bending her over a barrel and showing her all 50 states.'" Sarah blinked and turned toward him. Casey had a look on his face that he was considering it.

-ooooo-

"Wait," Dreyfus asked, stopping him. "Where did you here that from?"

"I worked at the Buy More for 5 years with Jeff and Lester. I can't scrub some of those things out of my head." Dreyfus shook his head. "You know they would make an interesting case study."

"No thank you, I like my sanity," Dreyfus replied. "Let's skip to the part where Bryce had a needle at your neck."

-ooooo-

 _Earlier_

"Bryce I'm telling you, stop," Chuck said, trying to stay calm.

"You don't understand, I have a needle at your neck, Chuck," Bryce said, starting to get irritated. "What about this aren't you understanding? Why aren't you being more cooperative?"

"You'll have to ask the three sons of bitches who tortured me," Chuck replied.

"What?" Bryce said, losing his grip and turned to Chuck. That's when he applied the training Sarah taught him and tossed Bryce over his hip. Chuck, in a fluid motion, grabbed Bryce's arm. He was in another world. He locked in the arm bar and cranked.

"AHHHHGHGH!" Bryce screamed.

"CHUCK YOU'RE DISLOCATING HIS ELBOW!" Sarah screamed.

-ooooo-

"Did they fix it?" Dreyfus asked.

"Yeah, Casey popped it back in place and Carina pulled me away. She seemed proud of me, but Sarah…I don't know, I think I messed up. I think she's going back to the CIA."

"Why do you think that?" Dreyfus asked.

"She hasn't talked to me since the incident."

-ooooo-

 _Earlier_

Casey walked over to Sarah. "It's a cluster. Graham wants you in charge of Bryce until we can get him back to DC. Carina is to take over Chuck's protection. King wants to talk to you ASAP, he's worried what Graham may try. King got Graham to agree that we can keep Bryce in Chuck's old room because this complex is compromised."

"This is exactly what Chuck was afraid of," Sarah hissed. "Casey-"

"Walker, I understand, but you need to know…Carina's about to go off on Chuck's ass."

"What?"

"She's decided it's just about time he lay his cards on the table. She thinks he's hiding and she's about to unload on him."

Sarah grinned. "You two are rooting for us."

"Are you?" Casey asked. Sarah swallowed and nodded.

"This is not easy."

"Well, it's about to get harder. You and I are gonna get your former boy toy to Ellie's and Carina's gonna handle your current boy toy."

Sarah stared at Casey. "I'm not sure which of you I hate more some days."

Casey grinned. "Plus there will be the normal Bartowski Thanksgiving madness to deal with."

"What normal Bartowski Thanksgiving madness?" Sarah asked.

"It's the Bartowskis," Casey said. "There's no telling what madness will raise it's head where they're involved, now come on."

-ooooo-

Sarah flipped on the monitor and a second later King appeared. "Agent Walker, we have a situation. Graham is wanting you to go back under with Bryce. It is, according to him, to protect the Intersect."

"That son of a bitch," Sarah spat.

"I agree," King replied. "We have a solution, but you may not like it. I am preparing paperwork to have you transfered over to me. You would effectively be leaving the CIA." Sarah nodded. "The problem with that becomes your residence…"

"Damn it, I keep forgetting I have a place in DC," Sarah muttered. King had a look on his face. "Right, it's actually the CIAs. I'm on board, what do you need from me?"

"I don't like this, because I know it's going to upset Chuck, but I need Graham to think he's won. Don't give Chuck a heads up. Bryce will be reporting back to Graham and Chuck cannot control his emotions. Bryce will report it worked and we'll have a leg up on Graham. I'm not saying if Bryce figures this out, we can't pull it off, it just becomes harder."

"Understood," Sarah said, a scowl on her face.

King grinned. "Once you're on that plane with Agent Larkin, pump his ass full of tranqs and contact Chuck personally."

Sarah returned the grin. "I look forward to working with you sir."

"I'm afraid because of your record of defying Director Graham you'll be stationed in the Burbank area for the rest of your career. I have a particular assignment for you." King's eyes were dancing. "You are aware what you're doing, correct Agent Walker?"

"Sir, regardless of what happens between Chuck and I, I will protect him. But more importantly, I can never work for Graham again. I do not trust him."

"In this business that could be fatal," King admitted. "Not trusting those giving orders…"

"Exactly, sir."

"I hope you know I try to keep my seduction and wetwork assignments to the absolute minimum."

"I don't think those types of assignments are good for the Intersect's flashing ability within Chuck. He seems to be extremely compromised."

"So does his new DNI handler," King replied, grinning. "See you soon, Agent." He cut the feed.

-ooooo-

"So you haven't spoken to Sarah at all?" Dreyfus asked. Chuck nodded. "What do you think is happening?" Chuck looked away, tears in his eyes. "Chuck you have to say it."

"My dream is coming true, she's leaving me for Bryce. Just like he said she would."

"Did she tell you she wouldn't leave you?" Chuck nodded. "Then you have to trust her."

"I do," Chuck replied. "It's just my history says otherwise." Dreyfus sighed. He really didn't have an answer for that.

-ooooo-

Chuck hadn't physically seen Sarah in nearly 24 hours. Carina and Casey explained what Graham had done, and Chuck was trying to believe Sarah that she wouldn't leave him. Chuck had tried to talk to Ellie about it several times but all she would say was, trust her. It was becoming maddening.

Chuck went into his old bedroom, where Bryce was lying, his arm in a sling. Bryce threw his good hand up. "Hey, don't beat me again."

"Bryce, I forgive you," Chuck said softly. "I don't agree with what you did, but I have to forgive you."

Bryce stared at him for a second. "Chuck, I messed up, okay. I didn't think you were cut out for this, for the record, I'm not sure this isn't proving me right, but you deserved to have that choice, although they wouldn't have given you much of a choice."

"I get it," Chuck said softly. "When are you leaving?"

"Sarah and I are flying out soon, tonight in fact."

"Sarah?" Chuck asked.

"Yeah, she and I are reforming the Andersons," Bryce said.

"Well, congrats," Chuck said, and turned and left. He came out of his room, eyes locked on Sarah and headed in her direction, when he felt someone to his right.

"Hey," Carina said, yanking him into the bathroom. Sarah's eyebrows raised, but she knew what Carina was doing. Casey and Carina knew everything and they hated the plan but had no better solution.

"What are you doing?" Chuck asked.

"What am I doing, what are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Chuck, you don't trust her."

Chuck stared at Carina and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "Carina, I do, it's just…everyone leaves me. My mom, my dad, Bryce decided what was best for me, twice, which ironically enough from what you all tell me, I would have had this thing anyway."

"Spiraling, Curls."

"Right. Jill left me, why do I think someone who is so much better than Jill would want to be with me? Besides, Bryce said she's leaving with him."

"Chuck, do you really like Sarah?"

"What do you mean, of course I do."

"Then how about you act like it, huh? Blondie is over there pouring her heart out to you time after time, and all you do is say, 'you're gonna leave me,'" she said in a mocking voice. "'Woe is me, everyone always leaves me. My girlfriend damn near got her leg shot off for me, but she's gonna leave me because Bryce is so handsome and suave and charming.'"

"Carina," Chuck said, stunned by this bluntness.

"Get over yourself," Carina spat. "Yes, you've had a shitty life. She's had a shitty life and she's trying, what are you doing? Besides being a little bitch?"

Chuck's eyes were huge. "So that's how it's gonna be huh?"

Carina nodded. "Yeah, that's exactly how it's gonna be."

"Thank you," Chuck said softly. Carina grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. "I guess I should go out there and talk to her."

Carina took his hand. "As for Bryce…this is what I'd call a common spy problem."

"Really?"

"Really," Carina said, grinning. "Trust her, even when it looks bad, trust her."

"Trust is one thing, Carina, but I haven't even talked to her."

"Chuck….trust me."

"That is a bad idea," he said, grinning.

"Ya damn right it is," Carina said, returning the grin. They walked out of the bathroom and both of them saw it. His old bedroom door was cracked, and Bryce moved to kiss Sarah. Chuck turn and bolted out of the house. Sarah shoved Bryce, grabbed his arm, twisted it behind him and slammed him against the door. "Get it, Girl," Carina muttered, and hurried out of the apartment. The lights were out in his and she worried he may have done something stupid. She ran out of the entryway, and saw him leaned up against the wall. One foot against it, his head tilted back, looking at the stars.

"I trust her," Chuck choked out. "And I'm sure you're gonna tell me that's a common spy problem, but I don't have to watch it."

"No, you don't have to, but you missed the best part," Carina said. Chuck turned to her, and she could see the sadness in his eyes. "She grabbed him, twisted his good arm, and slammed him up against the wall."

"Damn it, why don't I ever get to see the best parts?" Chuck asked. "What's going on?"

"For right now, she's going with him to DC." Carina cut him off before he could ask anymore questions. "Come on, we're going to your beach."

"Carina," Chuck began.

"Chuck, trust me," Carina said. Chuck nodded, got in the car, and sat quietly as they pulled away. He hoped he saw her again. He wasn't sure how he could live knowing the last time he saw her was kissing Bryce.

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A/N: *Hides behind wall* Trust me. Reviews, PMs, and even middle fingers from those of you upset with me are appreciated.

DC


	14. Ch 14, Trusting Her

A/N: What did I say in the beginning, two steps forward, one back, one to the side, someone catching him? Carina is now in the catching him category as well. This chapter, while it stands fine on it's own, really sets up an important theme next chapter. I hope you know your Star Trek. Ch 14 Trusting Her

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

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They sat at the beach, neither saying anything. Carina had no idea what to say to make him feel better, and Chuck didn't know what she could say to him. This was on him. He had to trust her.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Chuck asked softly.

Carina was silent for a second. "Yeah," she finally answered.

"You have a certain way you act, that isn't the real you, and we both know that." Carina gave him a look, and then grinned and shook her head. "Is it to keep people away, to keep from getting hurt?"

She sat there quietly for a second, as if to gather her thoughts. "In this life, you've gotta make a connection with someone and then, most of the time, end it. Sometimes physically end their life, sometimes ruin their life, sometimes just walk away. So yeah, I'm making it appear that I'm very free-spirited, enjoying the moment, when in reality, I'm trying not to show any real emotion. I'm trying not to hate the greater good for all it made me do to get where I am in my career. I'm trying to find some spark of life, and I'm not."

Chuck nodded. "She has to be terrified," he said softly. "Hell, you do too."

"Why do I have to be terrified?"

"Because you have a civilian friend," Chuck replied. She didn't say anything because she couldn't. He had knocked her flat on her ass with that statement. It was true. Chuck Bartowski was her friend, and he didn't want anything from her, other than to be there for her. She leaned over and kissed his cheek, wrapped her arms around his him, and laid her head against his shoulders. "Let me guess, this is where your mark or whatever would make a move."

"Yep," Carina said.

"So if I have a bad dream tonight are you gonna hold me."

She chuckled into his shoulder. "I hate you."

"Ooorrrr," he drawled. "We could get some Ben and Jerrys and watch sappy love movies."

"Did I mention I hate you?"

"Should we braid each other's hair?" Carina shoved him and he fell over onto the sand. He just lay there, his feet kicking, like he was a turtle trying to turn over. She looked away, laughing.

"If you hurt her I will kill you."

"Just promise me if she hurts me you won't kill her," Chuck said seriously. "We both know she's bad at this kinda stuff and there is a good chance we're gonna screw up at some point."

"How the hell are you real, Chuckles?" she asked honestly. "How the hell are you real?" Chuck had managed to sit up and just shrugged. "She's not leaving, I promise."

Chuck nodded, tears beginning to form in his eyes. "I want to believe you, I want to believe here, but what if there's something that happens that she can't stop."

Carina grinned. "When Sarah Walker wants something there is NOTHING that will stop her, do you understand me? And Curls, she wants you." Chuck's phone rang.

-ooooo-

Sarah made sure Bryce was comfortable in his seat. Both his arms were in slings now, and he was out after she had shot him with two tranq darts, and then shot him once more for good measure. Son of a bitch tried to kiss her?! Well, to be fair, he had actually started too when she realized what she had done. For a split second it had felt familiar, it had felt safe, it had felt spy safe. It was at that moment in her mind she made a decision. She didn't want spy safe. She wanted real, and only one man had really kissed her in her life. Only one man had made her want a real life, and it was time to call him.

She held her breath until she heard his voice on the other end. "Hello?" His tone was nervous, and worried.

"Hey, you," she said softly. She knew there was a good chance she was being listened to, but if they didn't know by know how she felt about him they were terrible spies. She grinned, she knew, she was just only now starting to admit it to herself was the problem.

"Hey," he drawled. "How's Mr. Anderson?"

"Well, we got the second arm in a sling. However I don't think I hurt him as bad as you hurt him."

Chuck laughed. "So, gonna be gone for a bit?"

She grinned. This was gonna be fun. "Yeah, seems like it. You know what I'm gonna miss most, all those movies we watched."

"Yeah? Any movie in particular?"

"Do you remember Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan?"

"Yeah, I do," Chuck replied. "The needs of the many out weight the needs of the few or the one."

"Yeah, at one time I agreed with that line, and I used to be totally by the book. You know if minutes seemed like hours and hours seemed like days?"

"Yes," Chuck replied, grinning. "You did use to be by the book, but you're not now are you? Unless of course it's useful to you."

"As for how long, Chuck, they want me to become the new Mrs. Anderson."

"Hmm, sounds like they have you in a Kobayashi Maru."

"They sure do," Sarah said, with an exaggerated sigh. "But I have faith. I feel like Captain Kirk and his famous Regulation 46A."

"Yeah, Kirk was known for always following the rules," Chuck replied.

Sarah grinned and closed her eyes, relief spilling through her. "They want me to stay gone for a long time, but I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Is that a promise, Agent Walker?"

"It's Sarah to you, you nerd, and yes it's a promise. They think it will be months before I can, but I promise you it will be a couple of weeks at most."

Chuck sighed. "Sarah, there's a lot to I need to say to you, there's a lot I've handled badly, but I think given everything that's going on, I just need to be direct. When you get back, think we could go out on a date?"

"Absolutely," she breathed. "Remember right now though, I have to do this by the book."

"Oh, I get it," Chuck replied. "You know though, I think you're like Star Trek III: The Search for Spock more than II."

"Why's that?" Sarah asked.

"I think deep down you really believe the needs of the few or the one, outweighs the needs of the many."

"Chuck," she nearly growled. "I need to go before I take over this plane."

"Why's that?" Chuck asked, unaware.

"This one has many needs," she said. "I miss you."

"Miss you, Sarah. Please come back to me."

"Trust me, Chuck."

"I do, Sarah, and I'm gonna start acting like it, I promise." She disconnected the call, and Chuck sat there, staring at the water.

-ooooo-

Carina had told him they needed to get home. They were going to open the gym in the morning and begin to try and sell memberships for those that were thinking about winter weight loss, and there was no better day to begin that the day after Thanksgiving.

Chuck had a dream during the night. He found himself bound, and his jailer in the room with him. He told the jailer with his face to free him. His jailer complied but not without telling him how much safer it was in the prison with him. Chuck stopped at the doorway, turned to his jailer, and simply said, "But she's out there." The rest of the dreams had been normal…except for that one about Sarah, the Weinerlicious, and a mustard accident that he was never telling anyone about. He thought he was more respectful than that!

Chuck and Carina were in one of the back rooms of the gym. Casey had run Chuck out of the front because, "We're trying to make it appear we know what we're doing and if they see your pencil neck no one will believe us."

Carina had been teaching Chuck bo staff fighting, and he was becoming quite proficient….to the point he was getting a touch cocky.

"And now the student passes the master," Chuck said, blocking another attack.

"Chuckles, stop it, or I'll have to make an example out of you," Carina warned.

"Carina, I'll bet you that I can knock you off your feet," Chuck said with a grin.

"Chuuuuck," she said warningly.

"I get it if you're scared of being made to look bad," Chuck teased.

"You're on, Chuckles," Carina said, shaking her head. "Here's today's lesson, I've taught you skills of using the bo, I didn't teach you how to win at all costs."

"I'm ready," Chuck replied.

"Chuck….no you're not," Carina insisted. "You aren't ready for it, it's psychological, it's-"

"Carina," he cut in. "I need to be ready for the real world. I need to be able to protect myself." He had a confidence she hadn't seen since she'd arrived. She knew if she did this, it could hurt him, badly. "Give me your best shot."

"Your funeral," she muttered. "Wonder what Sarah's doing?" she asked. Chuck just shook his head. "Think they spent all last night in bed when they got back. All this morning." Chuck's features changed. He looked hurt. "Been a while since she had spy sex, you know what I mean, with someone who looked as good as him." Chuck barely blocked her bo, his brow furrowed. "Charming, muscular, I bet he does things to her most women can only dream of." Chuck missed the shot at his leg, tripped, and landed on the ground. He looked up at her, hurt in his eyes.

She walked over to him, bo in hand and put the base of it on the ground, standing it upright beside her like a spear. "In the real world, you do whatever it takes to win," Carina explained. She reached her hand out to help him up. He looked broken. He looked up at her, and she saw the grin too late. He swept his leg around, and she found herself flat on her ass, looking at Chuck.

"Two things, sweep the leg," Chuck said, grinning at a stunned Carina. "Second. One night I was in the common area, trying to study because there was a sock on the door." Carina chuckled. "There was a young lady there that I didn't recognize, but she recognized me. It was loud, she saw I was studying, and asked me why I didn't go back to my room."

"Oh this ought to be good," Carina muttered.

"So I said, my roommate had a sock over the door, and she rolled her eyes." Chuck started laughing. "She asked if Bryce was my roommate and I said yeah. She proceeded to tell me that I could probably start back now and when I got there the sock would be gone."

Carina began to snicker. "Please tell me there's more."

"She told me she had gone out with him a few times, and she had figure him out, but it was too late." Carina sobered and listened, curious. "Bryce knew he was good looking, he knew he was charismatic, and when he knew something he quit trying. Others had to be wrong if their assessment didn't match up with him. Others had to be wrong if they didn't have the pleasure he had."

"Just like spying," she said softly.

"I told him once what she said, trying to help him out after he complained he didn't understand why no one wanted a long term relationship. Bryce knew best, he always did, and everyone else was wrong." Chuck looked over at Carina. "So when you started talking that shit about how much Sarah was enjoying her time with Bryce, I thought two things. One, I trust her."

"Good," Carina answered. "But I have to know what number two is."

"If she's been with him, as a partner, and whatever, and wants him over me…."

"Say it, Curls, please," Carina said, tears in her eyes.

"Then she doesn't deserve me," he said, tears in his eyes.

She took his hands in hers. "Chuck, there's more to that, and you know it, and until you admit it, you're never going to heal." He stared at her. "You're safe here, it's just between us."

"If she wants him over me," he began softly, and watched her nod. "Then she doesn't deserve me." He paused, her eyes begging him to continue. "And I deserve to be treated better," he choked out. Tears were falling down his face, and Carina was nodding. "She knows how I feel, I let her know, and she let me know how she feels."

Carina squeezed his hands in support. "Now what are you gonna do when you freak out over the next few weeks?"

Chuck grinned. "Regulation 46A in Star Trek basically says when known enemies are listening in, use code." Carina grinned at him. "She's coming home in a few days."

"And when she gets home?" Carina asked.

"I think it's time I stopped whining and started acting like someone who cares about Sarah Walker."

Carina nodded. "It's okay for the dreams and things to upset you, but to push her away…."

"Unacceptable."

She pulled him into a hug. "Proud of you, Curls." She gripped him tight. "Proud of you."

* * *

A/N: Second fic I've used Regulation 46A in. When I was a kid, my dad spent a few months in the hospital, and my mom stayed with him. I found myself staying with different family members. During that time I saw two sci fi movies, a lot. It's really the time where my nerdom grew. Star Wars and Star Trek II were watched many times as I tried to deal at 8 yrs old with my father fighting a disease no one really knew much about. 46A has always stuck with me. Welp, that's enough reflecting back on 37 yrs ago. Next chapter...Lon Kirk...oh boy. Reviews and PMs always appreciated.

DC


	15. Ch 15, Lon Kirk

A/N: This chapter has taken days to get right, and I'm still not 100% sure it is, but I would like to move on with life so...Sarah returns soon, not this chapter, but soon, and I have a reason...and I think it's a good one. There's a possibility of fluff next chapter. (I know there's been fluff according to some of you, but I need my fluff.) Ch 15, Lon Kirk

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

* * *

Chuck was silent as he lay there. Dreyfus said nothing, waiting for Chuck to talk.

"You do know this goes much better if you actually tell me what happened?" Dreyfus asked.

"You have the reports," Chuck replied.

"I know what's on paper, but I'm more interested in what's in you."

"So am I," Chuck admitted.

"Then why don't we try and figure this out together?" Chuck slumped.

-ooooo-

 _Earlier that day_

"Team, welcome to CASTLE," Deputy Director King said.

"I mean it's cool and all, but it doesn't look like a real castle," Chuck replied.

"It's an acronym Mr. Bartowski. It stands for Containment Arsenal Storage Tactical Logistics Environment," King explained.

Chuck glanced at Casey and Carina and then back to King. "Someone just wanted to call it castle is what you're saying."

"Probably," King admitted. "You are short one member of your team, the DNI's newest employee, Agent Sarah Walker." King looked directly at Chuck. "She apologizes for not being there, but it's my fault."

"Do you have a good reason?" Chuck asked a grin on his face.

"During her debriefing we learned many…troubling things," King replied. "Like the fact Director Graham recruited her at sixteen."

"I'd say that's a good reason," Chuck replied, shocked.

"That can't be legal," Carina said.

"It's not, and that's why Graham is…retiring and the CIA would like to use Castle Fitness as a front, and to provide cover jobs," King explained.

"That makes sense, attractive, athletic people working at a gym," Chuck replied, nodding.

"And one geek to fix things," Casey added.

"Nerd," Carina corrected. Chuck gave her an impressed look. She held her fist out and he bumped it.

"Christ," Casey groused.

"The good news is you four can come and go as you please, just making occasional appearances as needed," King replied. "Miss Walker should be calling you soon, Chuck."

"She's off camera isn't she?" Chuck asked grinning. They all heard the giggling.

"Christ," Casey muttered.

"Miss you, Sarah," Chuck said. King rolled his eyes but gestured toward the screen.

Sarah's head popped into the frame. "Miss you, stay out of trouble."

"You know me, I stay as far away from trouble as I can," Chuck replied.

"Christ," Carina growled.

"That's my line," Casey replied.

-ooooo-

"That's lovely, Chuck," Dreyfus said. "It's also stalling. Today you stay here until I get everything out of you."

"Christ," Chuck muttered.

-ooooo-

Chuck found himself up front selling an energy drink when he flashed on a dollar bill. After the customer left, Chuck rushed to the back, pulled up the cameras on the cash register, screen capped the man's face and ran it through the facial recognition system. Carina had followed him seeing the flash and was waiting patiently for him to explain everything. Chuck typed everything up in an official email and sent it to King. A few minutes later they were notified of a meeting.

They took their places and King popped onto the screen. "Good work, Chuck." Chuck nodded. "We have had whispers of a counterfeiting ring, the man you found works with Lon Kirk, someone we have had our eye on for a while. The Secret Service is going to let us handle this case."

"Huh, I didn't know they let anyone else ever handle cases," Chuck replied.

"They usually don't but with our intel they think it's best we go ahead," King replied. "Tonight Kirk is throwing a party, where Carina and Casey will pose as husband and wife, the goal is to win enough money to try to get Mr. Kirk's attention."

"And if that doesn't work?" Carina asked. King became uncomfortable. "Don't worry Deputy Director, I know what to do."

Chuck was confused. He looked first at her and then to King. "Wait, I don't know what's going on, and I'm the one who flashed, so maybe I should be added into this mission."

"Bartowski, you're not ready for this," Casey said.

"Agreed," King added.

"Well I don't and I'm the Intersect, remember, the one who got tortured?" King swallowed.

"Chuck," Carina said calmly. "Trust me, there's no way for you to help."

"What are you going to do, Carina?"

Carina was quiet for a moment. "I'll secure an invitation to his yacht the next day."

"How?" Chuck asked. Carina raised an eyebrow. Chuck held his gaze with her and she looked away. "What about what we talked about on the beach?" Casey looked from one to the other, intrigued. "You don't have to do this, there's another way, or at least let me try to do this another way."

"It's my job, Chuck," Carina said softly.

"Well, it sucks." Chuck turned to King. "Deputy Director, let me go with Carina, if I flash then maybe we can find something and Carina doesn't have to do this. If I don't, then…I won't say a word, but it's my fault she's in this mess."

"Chuck, it's Agent Miller's call on the how to obtain the information." He paused. "Son, listen, if it's not this mission, it's another one. I get it, I HATE this, and Agent Miller knows how I feel. She is good at what she does."

"I may be good at eating dirt, it doesn't mean I should," Chuck countered.

"Chuck, you aren't ready to do this," King said calmly.

"Chuck, we're the experts we know how to do this," Carina explained.

"So you won't even listen to me and my plan? You won't let me try to help you make this safer?"

"Chuck, we know what we're doing, we know how to do our jobs, if there was another way, we'd know it. We've been through all the scenarios in the world. Now you're not going to the party and that's final," Carina said firmly.

"Then what in the hell is the purpose of you having me on this team? What the hell is the purpose of me putting in all this training. I get it, you're trying to protect me, but what in the hell is so dangerous about going onto a boat! I can swim. The fact is you don't trust me not to do something stupid." Chuck turned and left.

"I've never had anyone storm out before," King said, shocked. "Put Agent Rick Nobel with him for the rest of the day while you two prepare." A buzzer went off. Carina looked at the monitor. "Has he left?"

"He's got Agent Nobel and the fliers for the gym," Carina explained. King looked at her, and she shrugged. "He thinks it will help our cover if we have real actual customers."

"He's not wrong," Casey admitted.

-ooooo-

Chuck found the pier he was looking for and headed for the yacht. "What are you doing?" Nobel asked.

"We need customers or someone is going to wonder why we have so many trainers hired," Chuck explained. "We need someone like these yacht owners around, to make people think the rich work out at our gym. It's part of the LA charm."

"What's going to make him show up?" Nobel asked, looking for holes in his plan.

"We're going to stop by all these different parks where young ladies are doing yoga, and you're going to tell them about yourself and all your friends who work at the gym."

"That's a little devious," Nobel replied. "And a lot genius."

"I hate it," Chuck admitted. "But I'm keeping Carina from being alone in an environment Kirk controls, and move it to an environment that Carina controls."

"Cameras to watch for protection, backup readily available, and Carina is still running her op, all I'm trying to do is to show them that the safety of my people comes first, and not just because I know what will happen if something goes bad."

-ooooo-

"So let me get this straight," Dreyfus said, looking over his notes. "What you were trying to do was keep Carina from being alone on a ship? She was there because of something you flashed on."

"Correct," Chuck replied. "She's his personal trainer. I let him come for a week for free. He got there and saw all the coeds that we let join for half price for the first week and he wanted an annual membership immediately. He called his buddies and now they have an annual membership. Some of the coeds extended their's because of the training the CIA agents showed them. It worked out for everyone."

"Except you," Dreyfus reminded him.

"Yeah, there's that," Chuck admitted.

-ooooo-

"WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU WERE ON HIS BOAT!?" Sarah screamed at him from the screen.

"Sarah," King began.

"Stay out of this, Tom," she hissed. King's eyebrows raised, but he did.

"What I mean is, this is Bryce all over again," Chuck retorted. Carina and Casey looked like they had been slapped in the face. "I had an idea, a plan that would let them do exactly what they wanted. I get it, I've been hurt, and you all are trying to make sure I'm okay, and I appreciate it, but you guys have got to let me be a part of this or all I've done is trade one cage for another."

Sarah stared at him, and walked off screen. Tom jumped when Sarah slammed the door shut. He looked back to his team. "You make valid points Mr. Bartowski, and your operation plan was solid."

"Deputy Director," Carina began. "He doesn't understand what it is we do, that's why we didn't want him there."

Chuck looked at Carina, stunned. He turned to King. "Look, I understand seduction. I know she isn't going to sleep with Kirk, but she is still vulnerable to violence, exposed on turf he controls. I am only worried about her safety, not her methods."

"Carina, maybe you're too close," Tom said gently. Chuck could feel her eyes bore into him. "Agent Casey, leave the room, lock the door, turn on the surveillance and if Agent Miller tries to kill Mr. Bartowski, come back in, otherwise, these two have some issues they need to figure out."

Casey fled, and the screen flicked off. Chuck turned around to face Carina.

-ooooo-

"So spoiler alert, she didn't kill me," Chuck said. Dreyfus just sat there, waiting.

-ooooo-

Carina's phone went off, and she looked at it. "Oh, your in deep shit now, Bartowski. Momma Bear is on her way home."

"Can she do that? She just can't do that." Chuck thought for a second. "Can she?" Carina grinned evilly. "Why did you shut me out?"

"Would you have done the same thing for Casey?" Carina asked. "If he had to go on a ship with a lecherous old cougar, wearing nothing but a speedo, would you do that for him?"

"First, I'd shoot myself if I ever saw him in one," Chuck began.

"He fills it out better than you thing," Carina said, with a knowing grin.

"Oh god," Chuck choked out.

"You wouldn't, would you?"

Chuck stared at her. "Would you let Casey fight some big dude one on one?"

"Yeah," Carina replied.

"Would you me?"

Carina couldn't answer that for a second.

"You had just opened your heart to me, told me how you had to do things. Part of having to do this and burn people kills you inside. Yeah, Carina, you're a woman and he's a man, but you have been there for me, so did I get my feelings involved, yes. But what I did was not to undermine your job. All I was trying to do was give you tactical advantage."

"You have," Carina admitted.

"You are one of the most bad ass agents I have ever met, and I would never disrespect you like that…and if I did, I was not trying to. I know you could handle yourself, but I was trying to keep that situation where you had the upper hand, that was it."

"That was it?" Carina asked. She was being open, honest, and vulnerable. She was so uncomfortable, and Chuck did the only thing he knew to do with Carina.

"No," Chuck said. She glared at him. "I would have been INSANELY jealous seeing you in that bikini and Lon reaping all the rewards of it."

She made a face. "I hate you."

"You'd of played with his hair, and run your fingers through it, and I'd be mad because you wasn't braiding my hair."

"Seriously hate you."

"Did you seriously think I was worried about you getting some?" The look on her face became clear. "Carina…"

"It's my life, Chuck, I get to do what I want to do, when I want to do it."

"Absolutely, but answer me this, on Kirk's boat, is that optimal? Is that a controlled environment? I get there are missions that you have no choice but to be in that setting. But this mission, like that…that was reckless. But you knew that, so why? You've listened to me in everything, you know everything, but why?"

"Because you're my friend, Chuck," she said softly. "I don't know if I have any of those. Even Blondie."

"You did it to protect me?" he asked, incredulous. Carina nodded. "And that's it?" She gave him a look, and shook her head. "Carina, I'd of done the same for Casey, and the cougar, and the speedo," Chuck insisted. "Actually, I'd of done more in that situation because I don't need to see that speedo." He gave her a serious look. "Seriously, you've help save my life, why would I ever do something to hurt you, to make you think I don't believe in your abilities. You mean too much to me for me to ever hurt you like that." Carina crossed the room and pulled him into a hug.

"I did what I worried Sarah would do, I treated you like a breakable China doll."

"It's okay, but please don't do it again."

"I'll try."

"I'll take it." He paused. "Is Sarah really on her way back?"

"Yep."

"How pissed is she?" Carina just grinned evilly.

-ooooo-

"So, to make sure I'm clear, Carina thought you were doing this, why?" Dreyfus asked.

"We talked some more, but it was a multitude of things. People in the past trying to have ownership of her, people looking down on her for some of her methods, protecting me, and protecting herself that I might look down on her."

Dreyfus nodded and smiled. "Why go above and beyond, Chuck?"

"Anyone would," Chuck replied. Dreyfus shook his head.

"No, Chuck. No they wouldn't, which leads us to what we've been circling in these session, which leads us to the problem that's brought you here."

"The problem that brought me here is torture," Chuck replied.

Dreyfus shook his head. "That's what got you in therapy," he countered. "What got you here, in this situation is you don't want anyone to be abandoned. You don't want anyone to be left like you were. Tell me something, why do you think you and Sarah had such an instant connection?"

"I have no idea, I don't know that she feels that way…" Dreyfus was giving him a look. "Okay, so maybe she does, and maybe I do. Carina once said she's been through some shit." Dreyfus nodded. "You think that's it?"

"Have you ever asked yourself why someone like Sarah Walker remained in the CIA knowing the person that you know her to be?"

"It's all she knows?" Chuck replied.

"Maybe, or maybe she was trying to find a way to help others, until she found someone that saw things the way she does."

"Doc, that's crazy. Sarah's a spy, she's trained to do things I couldn't."

"And yet you did," Dreyfus replied. Chuck's head snapped up. "Chuck, what do you want? Cards on the table. What do you want?"

"I want a life with Sarah," Chuck replied.

"Okay, I believe you, but before that?"

"I wanted to know why Bryce did what he did."

"Before that?"

Chuck sat there and looked away. Tears were in his eyes. "I want to know why my mom and dad didn't love me enough to stay. I want to know why I wasn't good enough." He paused. "Well, I guess I didn't work that out enough from therapy before."

"Or, you're at a different place in your life, with different abilities."

Chuck stared at Dreyfus. "Are you saying I should try and find my parents?"

"You have friends, you have the Intersect, you have no guarantees you'll like the answers you get, but maybe it's time you at least had the opportunity to ask the questions." Dreyfus paused. "But be warned, you may not like the answers, and it may drag up things in the lives of your friends that they have to address."

"Then if I do this, and I do drag things up, I need to be there for them."

Dreyfus smiled. "Progress."

* * *

A/N: Next chapter, Sarah is back. Is she as pissed as a baptized cat? Is she going to hurt him? How will she hurt him? Is fluff about to hit Broken?…it has been 15 chapters….As always thanks for all the support, reviews, and PMs. WillieGarvin, Emma, Zettel, and Angelgurl0, thank you so much for help with this chapter. It was a bear.

DC


	16. Ch 16, Proper Protection

A/N: Chapter 16, Proper Protection

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

She sat on the plane, trying to figure out what was raging through her. She wanted to be mad at him, but he was right. Carina and Casey had treated Chuck like a child. They had treated him exactly the way he had complained about. She knew why she was mad. She wasn't there. She wasn't the one with him, to protect him. She trusted Carina, but she knew Carina couldn't do for Chuck what she could. She didn't know Noble. He had done his job, but what he didn't realize is it shouldn't have been his job. It wouldn't have been if Langston Graham had one shred of decency and not recruited her at such a young age.

She looked down at her phone and the message she had received. "Are you mad at me?" She had never known a time when Carina cared. Sarah hadn't answered, and ten minutes later, Carina had text back. "Casey is watching him, I'm barred in my room. Please don't kill me." Sarah grinned.

She disembarked a few minutes later. She threw her bag in the back of her car and took off, Echo Park her destination. She arrived in what she was sure was record time. She grabbed her bag, marched across the courtyard, put her hand on the door of their apartment, and froze. She couldn't do this. She didn't know how.

"Still don't know, do you?" Came the voice behind her. Sarah shut her eyes, and couldn't stop the grin coming to her face. "It is after, isn't it?" Sarah nodded, never turning toward Ellie. "Sarah," she said softly.

"After what?" Sarah asked knowing Ellie was talking about their conversation at the hospital. Sarah shook her head. If she was going to do this she couldn't continue to hide. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "It's just so hard." Sarah turned to her, tears in her eye. "Ellie, I don't know how to be what he needs."

Ellie took her hands. "Sarah, you are all he needs. That's it. You, and that's what scares you, isn't it?"

"Ellie, my job, my life, I've…had to be something I'm not, some one I'm not, for so long, that…that I don't know…" she trailed off.

"You've forgotten who you are?" Ellie asked. Sarah nodded. "You know the best way to find yourself, remember who you are?" Sarah shook her head. "With someone you trust." Ellie tilted her head, smiling. "Do you have someone you trust?" Sarah nodded. "Good."

"How…how did you know I was having trouble?"

Ellie gave her a look. "Sarah, you stood in front of the door for a couple of minutes."

"I did?" Sarah asked, shocked.

"Yeah, you were just standing there. Do you need a minute?"

"No," Sarah said softly. "I've wasted too much time."

Ellie grinned. "Why do I have a feeling that has so many meanings?" Sarah grinned. Ellie took Sarah's hand and squeezed it. "Just be happy."

"How?" Sarah asked.

"Start by trusting what your feeling here," she said, putting her palm on Sarah's chest. Ellie turned and headed back to her apartment. Sarah turned, grabbed the door handle, and this time, she turned it.

}o{

Casey looked up at her as she entered the apartment. "'Bout time," he muttered, standing up and preparing to leave. "Figured out who you're pissed at?"

"Figured out you two are as compromised as me?" she retorted. Casey nodded. "Where is he?"

"Locked in his room, scared to come out," Casey chuckled. "Can I tell Carina it's safe?"

"Maybe she should stay locked in her room because of you." Casey glared at her and left. She sat down her bag, took a deep breath, and walked to his door.

"Chuck, can I come in?" Sarah asked the closed door.

"Are you gonna yell at me?" Chuck asked nervously.

"No, Chuck, I'm not, I want to talk, without a door between us." She heard the door unlock. She opened it and saw him sitting on his bed. She leaned against the door frame, smiling at him. "Hi," she said softly.

"Hey," he answered nervously. "How was your flight?"

"Good," she replied. She looked down and began to play with the hem of her shirt. "It brought me back to you," she said softly, looking up at him. The smile grew on his face. "Can I sit?" He nodded. She walked over and sat down beside him.

"I'm sorry," Chuck said softly.

"For what?" Sarah asked, turning her head toward him.

"For going off on my own," Chuck replied, looking down.

She took a big sigh. "Chuck, I was so mad. I stormed out, and got myself on a plane ASAP." He nodded. "I was mad at me." Chuck played that through his head and looked over at her. "I was supposed to be here for you. I was supposed to protect you. Here you are trying to do all the things that you are being trained for and they shut you down, and then didn't give you the proper protection you deserved."

"Why do I have a feeling you consider no one proper protection for me but you?" Sarah grinned at him. "So, now what?"

"Now, you just accept that I'm gonna be with you," she replied with a shrug.

"Gotcha," Chuck replied. They sat there quietly, neither saying anything. There was comfort, but neither knew how to continue.

"Where's our tree?" she blurted out. He looked at her. "I don't normally do Christmas, but I kinda assume you did-"

"WAIT!" Chuck said, jumping up, leaving her a little wide-eyed. "You don't 'do Christmas'?" he said with air quotes.

"Well, early entry into the CIA," she began. Chuck gave her a look. She took a deep breath. "Plus, my dad….he was a con artist and we were constantly on the move." Chuck froze. Sarah sat there, waiting for him to run.

"Well, that means I get to teach you Christmas," Chuck said softly. Sarah lifted her head. "I mean if you'll let me."

"Absolutely," she said softly. She stood and walked up to him. They stood there staring into each other's eyes. "There's no one I trust more."

"Sarah, I'm sorry for not trusting you more," he began.

She laid a finger on his lips. "Shh," she said softly. "I get it, but going forward…"

"No more of that crap, I promise."

"I'm gonna hold you to that, Curls."

"Missed you, Sarah."

"Missed you, Chuck," she said as she stood on her tiptoes, kissing him softly, and heading toward the door. "Sleep well." With that she left.

He cleared his throat. "That may be easier said than done," Chuck said to himself. He went to the bathroom to change, and when he came he stopped in his tracks. Sarah was in his bed. "Uh…"

"I forgot my bag," she explained. He looked at her for a second. "I told you I was protecting you."

"But who's gonna protect me from you?" he asked. She waggled her eyebrows at him.

}o{

Chuck found himself working on one of the machines the next morning, exhausted. They had started out on separate sides of the bed and he had stared at the ceiling most of the night. When he did fall asleep, it was just like when they had shared a bed after his kidnapping. Telling where one began and the other ended was impossible. They both opened their eyes the next morning at approximately the same time, looking at each other.

"Why are we fighting this?" Sarah asked him softly.

"Because we're both scared?" Chuck offered. She nodded, tucked her head against his chest, and soon they were both back asleep…until Carina barged in telling them they were late for work. They weren't, Carina just wanted to mess with them. Sarah jumped out of bed and chased her, leaving Chuck laughing.

He was trying to reprogram one of the bikes when he felt someone beside him. "You're idea for me to join this gym was a good one, Chuck," Lon Kirk replied. "There are babes everywhere, and here comes one for me now."

Chuck turned around to see who he was talking about, and Sarah was walking toward him. She was covered in sweat from her workout. Both men were checking her out. Chuck to see how she was walking after being shot and was now off of her crutches and cane, and Kirk, just checking her out.

"Hey, baby," Sarah said, coming up to him and smiling. "Who's this?"

"This, uh, this is Lon Kirk," Chuck replied. Sarah just looked at him.

"Hi," she said, extending her hand towards Lon. "I'm Sarah, Chuck's girlfriend."

Lon looked at Sarah then to Chuck. "Really?" he asked. "Well done, Chuck."

"Lon's the guy I was telling you about that owns the yacht," Chuck reminded her.

"Oh," Sarah replied. "So very nice to meet you," she said, her voice dripping with honey. She felt him stiffen at her side, and knew he was taking this the wrong way. She was trying to appear nice, trying to set him up for Carina, but Chuck thought she was going to try and use seduction. She turned to him to speak but there was no jealousy on his face, just resignation. He thought he knew what was going to happen.

"If you two can excuse me for a second, I need to get some tools for this machine from the office." With that, Chuck left. He walked out of the room towards the back.

"Kid," Casey said, having seen and heard everything on the monitors.

"What?" Chuck replied. "Casey, she's got an in, she and I have something, but I'm not going to get in her way of doing her job, you know what I was accused of yesterday."

Casey turned toward Carina, who was chewing her lip. "I mean he's not wrong," Carina said. She looked toward the screen, and grinned. She turned up the volume where Chuck could hear it.

"I'm sorry, Lon, but you don't seem to understand, I'm in a committed relationship with my boyfriend," they heard Sarah say. Chuck froze and slowly raised his head. "Now if you're inviting the both of us I'd have to ask him."

"Is he into that sort of thing?" Lon asked with a lecherous tone. Suddenly he heard a, "hurgh!"

"I. Am. With. Chuck. EXCLUSIVELY!"

"I understand, I understand," Lon said, trying to gasp for breath.

"Some friend you are," she said, pushing him away as Chuck came over to the monitor to watch.

"All's fair in love and war," Kirk replied, walking away.

"Damn it, I get why she did it, but she may have blown things," Casey muttered.

"What, you didn't catch her slip that bug under his collar?" Carina asked.

"So that was all for show?" Chuck asked, confused. Casey and Carina both turned to look at him. "Well?"

"Ask her," Carina said as the door opened and Sarah walked in. Carina and Casey left, closing the door behind them.

"So," Sarah began, but stopped.

"There's a private shower back there, you know, for staff," Chuck offered. "Seems you worked up quite a sweat."

"Plus I have Lon Kirk stench on me," she replied softly.

"I need you to know, I trust you, and I was giving you room to operate."

Sarah stared at him, and finally nodded. "My plan was to have you there….beside me," she emphasized. "So next time, wait until I give you some type of signal." Chuck nodded. "We're okay?"

"Exclusive…that was for the cover?" Sarah shook her head. "You know I'm still messed up."

"Don't care," she replied. "You know I'm still messed up?"

"Really don't care," he said, smiling. "So we're sharing a room?" She nodded. "Sarah, is that a good idea?"

"I won't do anything you don't want me to."

"Oh," Chuck nearly whimpered. "Sarah, I'm gonna mess up, I'm gonna make mistakes, you have to trust that I don't ever do it to purposely hurt you."

She stepped up toward him. "That shower," she said softly. "I need one." She ran her right hand behind his neck. "We are going Christmas tree shopping, right?" Chuck nodded. "Good." With that, she slipped away to the back room. Chuck put a hand on the desk to steady himself.

"This is gonna be difficult." He grinned. He was ready.

* * *

A/N: My uncle died yesterday. This has been my therapy chapter. I hope the fluff wasn't too much for the tone of this, but it was due a bit of a break. Next chapter may be more fluff. I don't know. Reviews appreciated.

DC


	17. Ch 17, Moving Forward

A/N: Hey, sorry. This fic isn't the easiest and you know life. It has been messy lately,and I have to be in a certain headspace. For this one moment I am, in five minutes, who knows? I promise I'm working on it when I can. Ch 17, Christmas

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, because if I did, it would be on TV. We'd figure out a way. I promise.

* * *

They were sitting at an outdoor cafe, having lunch, drinking hot chocolate, even thought it wasn't that cold. Chuck looked very nervous and Sarah had an internal countdown set for two minutes before she asked him what was wrong.

"So Dreyfuss and I…we've been discussing…things," Chuck said softly. She slowly raised her head and looked at him. This was big. This was boyfriend/girlfriend big, and she wasn't sure what to do, so she sat quietly. She did nod that she heard him and to go on. "He thinks part of my problem is my unresolved problems with my parents."

"What exactly does he recommend?"

"It's not so much what he recommends as he's reminded me that if I chose to try and find out what happened to them, I have a support structure like I've never had. That I have…family."

Sarah licked her lips, took a deep breath, and let her hand cross the distance and cover his. He looked her in the eye. "You do," she said softly. "You have me, you have Casey, and you have Carina. We are here for you."

"But is that fair of me to drag you into that?"

She gave him a soft smile and studied him for a second. "Christmas always meant having to run the Salvation Army con with my dad." She sighed and her features dimmed a little. "He was a fake Santa and we robbed people, Chuck. We robbed people at Christmas, but worse, we took money away from kids that needed it."

"Perhaps we shouldn't get a tree," Chuck offered.

"How is that fair to you?" Sarah asked. Chuck gave her a look. "I'm trying to say I understand why you feel the way you do. I normally stay away at Christmas time so I'm not hurt. There's never been someone else to worry about. And now that there is, I should just take the pain in silence, right? Because I was a part of it."

"No, you shouldn't," Chuck argued.

"Why not?" she asked, her eyes dancing.

"Because we are…" her eyebrows raised and a grin covered her face. "We are together, and we should come to a conclusion together." She nodded. "But what your offering is going to make things hardest on you in both circumstances."

Sarah shook her head. "It's a chance for both of us to face things and move forward together. Plus if you find out there's some really horrible reason your parents left, I'm pretty sure you're the one who's going to be the most upset." Chuck sighed. "Have you really thought about that?"

"It's all I've ever thought of," he admitted. She got up from her seat across from him, and moved beside him. She put her left arm around his shoulders and placed her right hand over his. "Why wasn't I good enough?"

"What if they wondered if they were good enough?" Sarah asked. He looked up at her. She lifted her hand and smoothed out a stray hair on his forehead. "What if they were overwhelmed, or just weren't good parents? What if it's all on them?"

"Then I've wasted a long time being mad," Chuck admitted.

"Maybe you should try and find out." She gave a little shrug. "Whatever you want, I'm here."

"Thank you, Sarah," he said softly.

}o{

Several hours later they had a tree set up, decorated, with lights shinning. Sarah had turned out the apartment lights and just watched the tree. A tear fell from her eye. "It's beautiful," she said softly. She turned to Chuck. "This is all your doing, thank you."

"Well, considering I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you…." He shrugged and she gave him a soft smile. She took his hand and led him to the couch. "Is something wrong?"

"No, I just want to sit here and snuggle on the couch with my boyfriend," Sarah replied.

"You are quiet adept at snuggling."

"Thank you," she chirped. She molded herself into his side, his arm around her, the two of them staring at the tree. They sat like that for hours, before Sarah finally nodded off. Chuck picked her up and gently carried her to her bedroom, and put her to bed. He went back to his room and fell asleep.

A few hours later he awoke, knowing she was sitting on the bed staring at him. "You know, if you hadn't been through what you've been through and I care about you as much as I do, I'd of had a knife to your throat when you woke so you know how serious I am about protecting you." He gulped as silently as possible. "However, knowing what you've been through that would be counter productive."

"Thank you," he sputtered.

"If it happens again…." She trailed off and he didn't gulp as quietly this time.

"So, for the record…"

"I am with you, Chuck. I am protecting you."

"Got it," he said.

She sighed. "I don't think you do," she said, climbing into bed. "I don't think you get that I want to rip this shirt off of you." He pointed to his shirt with a raised eyebrow. She grinned, grabbed the bottom of it, and seeing his grin, pulled it off of him. She kissed him soundly, molding herself against him and suddenly she found herself on her back, Chuck over top of her, pinning her to the bed.

"Carina's taught me things," he said with a grin. He face went ice cold. "OH GOD! NO! NOT THOSE THINGS!" He was trying to scramble away, but she hooked her heels around his legs.

"Calm down, I know she didn't." The teasing grin on her face calmed him.

"Uh, you might need to let me go."

"Chuck, do you really want me to let you go?" The look on her face was was predatory.

"Sarah…if you don't you're gonna have to hang on forever." He shook his head. "I'm…I'm…"

"Deal," she said softly, and his head snapped up, looking at her. Her face was wet from tears.

"Sarah, you don't know the mess I am."

"Pretty sure I do, and you don't know the mess I am," she replied.

"I don't care," Chuck said. She pulled him close. "Sarah…thank you."

She bounced her eyebrows. "You haven't even seen what you're thanking me for….yet."

"Oh boy," he said, and then she attacked his face.

}o{

 _December 27th_

"So it's been a bit, how are things?"

Chuck laid on the couch, a bit of a smirk on his face. "Things are good."

Dreyfus rolled his eyes. "Are they?"

"You know how Christmas comes, and you're all excited for it, and then it's over, and you can be a little depressed?"

"Yes, Chuck, I am aware of depression and Christmas," Dreyfus answered.

"Well, what if after it's over, you get more presents, every day."

"Okay, I'm going to stop you, because I don't want to hear about your sex life."

Chuck shot up from the couch. "What?! NO! I mean, I have one, now, not that I didn't before, it was just more on pause then, but now, I have one…oh….this is what you thought I was doing." Dreyfus raised an eyebrow. "I'm talking about my actual relationship with Sarah. Getting to know…well…her. Getting to be with her, spend time, and…well…."

"Sex," Dreyfus offered.

"I mean, yes!" Chuck sputtered. "But, just, being with her, being…trusted…and her being there."

"Instead of leaving you," Dreyfus said softly. Chuck nodded. "Ah ha."

Chuck sat back up again. "See, you do that. We get to talking and you Ah ha, but what does Ah ha mean?"

"What did you decide on your parents?"

"You are avoiding the question," Chuck pointed out. Dreyfus just sat there patiently. "Sarah and I are weighing the pros and cons."

"Interesting," Dreyfus said, as he nodded.

"What are you doing?"

"Enjoying myself, Mr. Bartowski," Dreyfus replied with a grin. "For many months, you came to me, hurt. Now, there is a part of you that is whole and might even be growing stronger. I am proud of the work you have done, but here is the hard part. Things seem fine."

"They do," Chuck agreed. "But, I still haven't addressed my issue."

"Which is?"

"Why did my parents leave, when will Sarah leave, and what happens to me when I'm all alone again."

"Why do you think she'll leave you?"

"Because I'm not good enough for her. Everyone always leaves me." Chuck sat there quietly for a second. "I don't know, is the answer to the first question. She's not going to is the answer to the second. We may not be forever, but I really hope we are, but she's not going to just leave." Chuck looked over at Dreyfus. "What's wrong with you?"

Dreyfus was wiping sweat off his brow. "You nearly gave me a heart attack with you asking about Sarah leaving. I see what you are doing know, you are saying the actual issues you came in with." Chuck grinned at him. "Wait, you did that on purpose." Chuck nodded, the grin growing. "Nice to see your sense of humor returning. Now the answer to the third question?"

"I'm only all alone if I choose to be."

Dreyfus leaned back in his chair. "Progress," he said, smiling.

}o{

It was a week later, a new year upon them, when Chuck and Sarah were sitting at the front desk of the fitness club.

"Ellie thinks we're getting super serious," Chuck told her, eating some blueberries she had brought in.

"Thinks?" Sarah asked, grinning.

"I thought it not best to tell her anything different," Chuck replied. "If I'm honest, I'm still a little in shock myself."

"Why?" she asked, popping a berry in her mouth. "Chuck, what more do I have to do to prove to you this is real?"

He reached over and took her hand. "Nothing," he said softly. "It's just hard some mornings waking up beside the most beautiful soul in the world and realizing she's there because of you. She's there because she cares about you. She's there because she….likes you."

Her eyes were getting watery and a grin broke out when he paused before the word like. "Chuck…I more than like you."

"I kinda thought you might."

"Uh, guys, sorry to interrupt, but…Chuck, we need help." They both looked behind Chuck to see Morgan. "There's a hotel that's server is in bad shape and no one can fix it." Chuck looked at Sarah who rolled her eyes. She grabbed Chuck's arm and nodded toward Casey and Carina who came walking buy, very close to each other. "Is that weird to anyone else?"

"What works for them works," Chuck said. He turned to Sarah. "Want to go be bored watching me work on a computer. Sarah grinned, took his hand, and they followed Morgan thinking how they were going to have a nice quiet afternoon away from the prying eyes of spies.

* * *

A/N: What happens when Ilsa gets thrown into the mix, Carina realizes how much she cares about Casey, and Chuck sees his friend hurt? I call it Broken for a reason.

DC


	18. Ch 18, Guilt

A/N: So, I've said constantly I have to get into a certain headspace to write this. I'm feeling the story, but not in that headspace. I've got this huge smile on my face from Star Wars Celebration. This is gonna be interesting. Ch 18, Guilt

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

Chuck lay on the couch quietly, a troubled look on his face. Ilsa had been captured, and Chuck had learned about Casey's past…and about Casey in his boxers. He hoped that was something that he never remembered again.

"You do know that if you say what you're thinking it not only helps me, but sometimes yourself." Chuck looked over at Dreyfus. Dreyfus had a wry smile on his face. "This isn't about you, or Sarah….one of your teammates?" Chuck nodded. "Chuck, talk to me."

"Why am I the lucky one?" he asked, staring at the ceiling. Dreyfus's eyebrows went up in one part confusion and one part surprise. "Why were people there to rescue me and no one to help everyone else? Why can't I help him?"

"Ahhh, Major Casey," Dreyfus replied. Chuck looked over at him. "Unless you're talking about yourself, and I don't find you sufficiently egotistical to do that, that only leaves Major Casey."

"He had a chance at a real life," Chuck said, shaking his head. "He gave it up for a country that would have gladly killed him when he tried to save me. How is that fair?"

"It's not," Dreyfus answered. Chuck sighed. "And you know it's not, and while I wouldn't call this survivor's guilt per se, there is guilt here, but here's my question to you: Why do you have to be the one to fix it?"

"Because someone has to," Chuck replied.

"What if he doesn't want your help?" Dreyfus offered.

"But…I owe him."

"What if he doesn't feel you do?" Chuck laid there, thinking.

"He's my friend," Chuck countered. "Are you saying I'm not his?"

"I'm saying maybe your expectations of Major Casey are blinded by what you would want someone to do for you," Dreyfus explained.

"Ladyfeelings," Chuck replied, nodding. Dreyfus looked confused. "Casey believes talking about feelings, or anything that's not….well….Casey approved, is ladyfeelings. He hates those." Chuck sat there quietly. "So, I have to find a place that Casey feels comfortable." Dreyfus nodded. Chuck sprung up, and headed out of the office. "Thanks, Doc."

Dreyfus watched him go. "Progress," he said softly.

}o{

"Hey, Casey," Chuck said to the burly man the next day. Casey gave him the same look he had been giving him since the Ilsa mission had ended. "I need your help with something that Dr Dreyfus thought might help me, and I don't think Sarah or Carina would approve."

"Perhaps you shouldn't," Casey replied, and began to turn away.

"It has to do with guns." Casey stopped turning, and began to turn back, curiosity on his face. "Dreyfus thinks maybe if I start looking at things from an angle that doesn't scare me, say video games, I can overcome some of my…."

"Issues," Casey offered. Chuck nodded. "You know that game gun you use is nothing like a real one."

"Exactly, so what if my project was to create one that looks, feels, and weighs like a real one? And then, we could use that for training purposes." Casey's brow creased in thought. "I feel like I need to get past a lot of hurdles, and this would do it all. I'd be building something which requires a bit of electricity and soldering. What do you think?"

"I like it, but if we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this my way."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Chuck replied.

Casey eyed him, suspiciously. "No talking about feelings?"

"Not even if you bring it up," Chuck replied. Casey grunted a laugh.

}o{

"What are you doing?" Carina asked as she barged through his and Sarah's front door, slamming it behind her, a week later.

"Making a sandwich…" Chuck began. "But, I can make you one if you want it."

"Don't give me that," Carina said, getting in front of him. "What. Are. You. Doing?"

"I'm going to eat this sandwich and then see if Sarah wants to have sex," Chuck replied, not sure at what she was getting at.

She paused. "Anything special?"

"The Venus Butterfly?" Chuck offered.

"Ooooo, nice, Curls, no wonder she likes you." She shook her head. "But back to my point, what are you doing to Casey?"

"Not the Venus Butterfly." Carina blinked, speechless. "Wait, did I finally say something about sex that shocked you? Did I?!"

"Chuck," she said, with a warning tone in her voice, but the grin on her face said he had.

"YES!" Chuck yelled, pumping his arm into the air.

"What's going on?" Sarah asked, coming out of the bedroom. "Is that a sandwich for me?" Chuck nodded and handed it to her.

Chuck looked at Carina. "The student has now surpassed the master."

"Chuckles, I have things I have never even come close to teaching you, and if I did, she'd kill me." Chuck put his fist out, she shook her head and fist bumped him.

"It really bothers me sometimes you two have these little things going on I know nothing about," Sarah groused.

"Carina wanted to know what I did to Casey, and I told her not the Venus Butterfly."

"What's that?" Sarah asked. Carina snorted. "What?"

"I'll give you three hours, and then we're talking," Carina said.

"Four," Chuck countered.

"Jesus, Bartowksi, don't kill her," Carina said heading out the door.

"Recovery," Chuck yelled. Carina gave him a thumbs up and left.

"What's the Venus Butterfly?" Sarah asked. Chuck just smiled at her.

}o{

Four hours later in the courtyard

"Damn," Carina said, walking out, and handing him a bottle of energy drink. "You're just radiating a smirk."

Chuck shrugged. "What can I say?"

"You know I'm usually all about talking about sex, but I'm legit worried about Casey." Chuck nodded, his expression turning serious. "He asked if we were making a mistake with you."

"Okkaaaaaay," Chuck replied.

"Chuck, don't you get it?" she asked. Chuck shook his head. "You've made a gun, you've held one."

"No, I haven't," Chuck countered. "It's for the game."

"He handed you a gun at one point when you thought it was the one you made," Carina said softly. "You held it, and didn't have a reaction. You are changing."

"Changing bad?"

"Well, that's the question, isn't it," Carina replied. "And if you become like one of us….it will destroy him."

"What?"

Carina looked him in the eyes. "He's lost so much," she said softly. "He's lost so much, and he can't lose anyone else."

"What about you?" Chuck asked, scooting close. "You care for him." She shook her head, tears in her eyes. "You've lost so many, had to do so much, buried so much inside of you, that you've never had to deal with stuff before, and now it's coming out of you." She shook her head fiercely, but the tears began to fall. He was right beside her, and pulled her in. She buried her head against his neck, sobbing. "It's okay to feel, to care, to want to have a life….to love."

She broke. She began to cry and held onto Chuck like he was life. Sarah walked out of the apartment at that moment. She was basically floating on air, and there she saw her boyfriend, the love of her life, holding Carina, protectively. In the past, this would have sparked jealousy. In the past, she would have been angry. But, she knew what this was. Chuck had torn down another wall of another spy. Chuck turned saw her, and worry set in on his face. She shook her head, and walked toward them. She sat down beside them, and hugged him from behind, her hand on Carina's shoulder.

"I hate him, Blondie," Carina sniffled.

"I can't stand him, myself," Sarah said. They both looked at each other, and grinned. "God, he's just a pain in the ass."

"He held a gun," Carina told her. "You needed to know."

"He told me," she said softly. Carina looked at Chuck.

"I told her after you left," Chuck admitted, shrugging. "She needed to know."

"I thought you were showing her the Venus Butterfly," she said, shaking her head.

"Oh, he did," Sarah said, a salacious grin on her face. "He did."

}o{

"So, let me get this straight," Dreyfus said, amazement on his face. "You've not only held a gun, but fired it for testing purposes to make one for the military to practice with, in a virtual environment. You have gotten Agent Miller to talk about her feelings, your relationship with Sarah is amazing, and Casey….respects you?"

"Yep," Chuck replied, tapping his fingers together.

"So why do you look so worried?" Dreyfus asked.

"Because this is where it falls apart," Chuck admitted. "This is where it all goes wrong."

"Chuck," Dreyfus began.

"I'm telling you doc, this is where something goes wrong. My family has a curse."

"Have you talked to Sarah about this?" Dreyfus asked.

"No," Chuck admitted. "I can't get anyone to understand." Dreyfus studied him, the look on his face was saying it all.

}o{

Orion was watching three feeds. His son and Dreyfus, a feed out of Russia, and the feed of a man in Burbank. He opened a fourth, to Director King.

"Orion," King said to the distorted figure.

"They're putting pressure on her, King. You said you would bring her back," Orion blurted out as an opening.

"You know and I know there is only one team that can go in there and take her out of there, and she's not coming without taking out Volkoff," King replied.

"I have the virus to destroy his network," Orion retorted. "I have the technology to destroy Volkoff forever."

"I have no delivery system for it," King replied. "I want to end this, but how do you propose we approach them. You know he has the best security counter measures in the world."

Orion turned to the feed of the man in Burbank, and zoomed in on Jack Burton. "So, we need someone to go old school, you're saying."

"Very old school," King replied.

"I have an idea," Orion offered. "After this is over we pull the Intersect out of Charles's head."

"I think that is a good idea," King replied. "If he wants it out."

"Why wouldn't he?" Orion asked.

"Because he's not you, Stephen," King said gently. There was no response for a moment and then the screen distortion faded. "Hello, old friend." Stephen nodded to him. "Let's go get your wife."

"I'd like that," Stephen replied. "I'd like that a lot." He was silent for a second. "I shouldn't have left her there that long."

"I should have fought the order to send her in the first place," King replied. "I'm sorry, Stephen."

"I know, but let's bring her home." King nodded. It was the least he could do.

* * *

A/N: The beginning of the end of Broken. Sorry it's taken so long to get back to it. Hopefully this will wrap up in a few weeks.

DC


	19. Ch 19, The Curse

A/N: It lives. I never thought this fic would go this far, but it has. It is my goal to finish this, this summer. I'm sorry for this, and Casey and Walker, both went silent and I'm fighting them to get them out. (I'm not sure on Casey and Walker…I've never had one go so silent on me.) Little foreshadowing last chapter, so let's pay that off, shall we.

Disclaimer: I do not own Chuck.

* * *

 _A few days later_

"So, still believed you're cursed?" Dreyfus asked. Chuck sat there, eyes wide, lips pressed together, cheeks a bit puffed out. Dreyfus nodded. "So, what happened?"

}o{

 _The day before_

"Did I forget a date tonight?" Chuck asked, seeing Sarah walk out of the employee's locker, dressed up.

"No," Sarah replied. "I have a mission, but I'll be back later and explain everything." There was something on her face. Something he didn't understand, but he trusted her.

"Well, good luck," he said, trying to smile supportively.

"Chuck," she began, and she saw the time. She did a quick internal battle. "Later, I promise." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and headed out the door. Chuck watched her go, not sure what was going on. He headed out to the front, where he saw Casey and Carina.

"Chuck, that place you found that had tacos the other day," Casey began. Chuck looked up. Tacos always made him feel better. "How about you pick us up a dozen?" Casey handed him some money, and Chuck took off, grinning.

"Casey!" Carina hissed. "Isn't that place directly across from where Walker's meeting her dad?"

"Is it?" Casey asked, his face as innocent as he could make it.

}o{

"Oh, God," Dreyfus moaned.

Chuck gave him a confused look. "I thought you weren't supposed to be judgmental."

"I'm human, Chuck," Dreyfus replied.

}o{

Chuck started to enter the restaurant to order the food, when he caught a flash of blond hair across the street. Curious, he walked over to a magazine stand to surreptitiously take a better look. There Sarah was, with a man, a much older man…much, much older man. She touched the man's hand, affectionately.

"There is no curse, there is no curse, there is no curse," he muttered to himself. He saw her laugh openly, and roll her eyes at the man across from her. He had to trust her; he said he would, and he had to. Before he could stop himself, he pulled out his phone, zoomed in on them, and snapped a picture. Seeing the man up close, a flash began.

After it ended, he shook his head, trying to clear it. She was here on an assignment, but did she have all the relevant info? Chuck knew she might get mad, but she had to have the information he possessed to properly do her job. He kept muttering his mantra, "There is no curse, there is no curse," as he walked across the street. He came up behind the man he had flashed on, Jack Burton, a huge smile plastered on his face. "HEY!"

"Hi," Sarah replied, her eyes wide. It was almost as if she was trying to say with her eyes, "What the hell are you doing?!"

"I thought it was you." Chuck made sure not to use her name in case she was undercover. "I saw a FLASH of blond hair, that could only be yours, and just had to come over and say hi."

"Well, it's good of you to do so," she said, begging him with her eyes to leave.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your date?" Chuck asked. The look on her face let Chuck know he might… no, would be getting strangled later.

Jack snorted. "Jack Burton," he said, shaking Chuck's hand. Chuck had grabbed a chair with his other hand and sat down.

"Known her long?" Chuck asked, nodding toward Sarah, not looking at her, but feeling the kick against his shin.

"A bit," Jack replied, smirking as he drank.

"She's pretty amazing," Chuck replied.

"Why don't I give you two a moment," Jack said, getting up and heading toward the bathroom.

"You don't have to," Chuck said, trying to stand. Jack put his hand on Chuck's shoulder, holding him there.

"Pretty sure you two have something to talk about," Jack said, his eyes dancing with mirth, and walked away.

"Crap," Chuck groused turning to her. Her spy mask was up. "Listen, I flashed, and I'm sorry but I figured you needed the intel in my head for this mission."

"Did you follow me?" she asked, her expression never changing.

"What? NO!" Chuck leaned close. "I went for tacos at the place across the street, saw your hair, seriously, and I was trying really hard to not do anything. I will admit when I saw you touch his arm, I got….well…"

"Chuck, I promise you, you have nothing to worry about," she replied, amusement creeping into her features.

"Sarah," he paused and shook his head. "I took a picture of him, because I assumed he was….I hoped he was a mark." Sarah studied him. "My family has a curse when it comes to relationships." She leaned forward, resting her head in her hands. "Anyway, I flashed, and I need you to know this is a bad dude."

"Trust me, I know," Sarah replied.

"The guy is a total loser, all right?" Chuck continued on, missing Sarah's look to the heavens for help. "Absolute bottom-feeding, scum of the earth."

"But I'm a hell of a dancer," Jack said from behind. Chuck winced, facially.

"Dad, meet my boyfriend, Chuck," Sarah said, a pained look on her face.

Chuck sat there quietly for a second. "I guess Casey sent me after those tacos on purpose." Sarah groaned into her hands.

}o{

"Is Casey alive?" Dreyfus asked.

"Yes," Chuck replied. "But I'm pretty sure it's only because of all the paperwork that would have to be filled out if she killed him."

"The government does have its uses," Dreyfus replied.

}o{

"So, let me get this right," Chuck began, the whole crew sitting in Casey's apartment. Chuck held Sarah securely in his lap, so that she wouldn't murder Casey. "We have a mission in Russia, but we need to go low tech?"

"That's right," Jack said, standing in front of everyone.

"Makes me about useless," Chuck groused.

Casey, Sarah, and Carina all three glared at him. Jack shook his head, and flipped on a projector. "This is the woman we're trying to save: Agent Frost."

"Mom," Chuck whispered.

}o{

"What?" Dreyfus asked, coming off his chair. "Way to bury the lead there, Chuck!"

"There's more," Chuck replied.

"How?"

}o{

The TV popped on, with a split screen. On one side was Tom King, on the other was the pixelated face of Orion. "Orion, it's time," King said softly. The screen changed, and Stephen Bartowski was in front of them.

"Dad?" Chuck asked softly.

}o{

"Okay, that's how," Dreyfus muttered.

}o{

"We have two primary targets in this op," King explained. "The first is this man, Alexi Volkoff." Volkoff's picture popped up on the screen. "The second," King didn't get anything else out as a second picture popped up and Chuck felt the temperature in the room drop a few degrees.

"Riker," Sarah growled.

}o{

Dreyfus sat there staring at Chuck. "Well, you can't complain your life is boring."

All Chuck could do was nod in agreement.

}o{

"Riker is trying to acquire a fortune to help Volkoff finance his war," King explained. "By having this fortune, Riker can help Volkoff create and sell new weapons, doubling, even tripling his money."

"The fortune is a baby," Sarah spat out. Chuck had never seen her so mad. "That son of a bitch was going to kill her to get the money." Chuck pulled her close.

"This is going to get personal for a lot of people," King began. "Some in the intelligence community would say you four are quite compromised, when it comes to this mission."

"Let them try and stop us," Casey muttered. Everyone turned to him. "What? There's a kid, an evil dictator, and a turncoat, plus bringing home Bartowski's parents? What else could we ask for?"

"Volkoff isn't really evil," Stephen said. Everyone slowly turned toward him. "He has an intersect that has overwritten his personality."

"You had to ask," Chuck muttered. "You just had to ask."

}o{

"So, this is our last session," Dreyfus began.

"It is?"

"You're heading to Russia, Chuck, to save your parents. The question is, are you ready?"

"Isn't that what you're supposed to tell me?"

Dreyfus studied him for a few seconds. "Chuck, you do realize what this means, right? About your parents?"

"They had to leave," Chuck said softly. "That maybe, just maybe they wanted to stay."

"They did," Dreyfus replied. "But there's more."

"They chose someone else over me," Chuck said, sighing.

"Why?" Dreyfus asked. Chuck looked at him. "Think about it, Chuck. Why?"

Chuck sat there quietly for a moment. "They thought that leaving me with my sister was the lesser of two evils?"

"Yes," Dreyfus said, nodding. "But what else?"

"They are shitty parents," Chuck grumbled.

Dreyfus laughed out loud. "Quite," he agreed. Chuck's eyes widened. "What? They screwed up, and they chose that life of trying to fix something they screwed up over raising their children. If that's not the definition of shitty parents, then what is? They may have loved you, even still do, but they probably have no business raising children. It also means, it's not your fault."

"What happened to me figuring this out on my own?" Chuck asked.

"Kind'a on a deadline here," Dreyfus replied. Chuck smiled at him. "You are about to go save your mother. I don't need you wondering, in a crucial moment, if your mother's and father's choices shape you."

"Kind'a like the children paying for the sins of the parents?" Chuck asked. Dreyfus nodded. "They made their choices, but they aren't mine."

"Correct," Dreyfus replied. "You're going to save your mother, you're going to save your father, but you also are saving an innocent man in Volkoff."

"Hartley," Chuck informed him. "His real name is Hartley." Dreyfus nodded. "How do you choose a mission over your children?"

"Shame, hubris, not being a fit parent," Dreyfus mused. "Here's the thing: You have an opportunity here, you have a chance to learn one of life's most important lessons. What not to do."

"Progress," Chuck said softly. Dreyfus nodded. Chuck stood, and Dreyfus followed suit. Chuck shook his hand. "Thanks, doc."

"I told you many times, Chuck. You do all the work." Chuck nodded and left.

Dreyfus didn't know if he would ever see him again or not. All he knew was that Chuck was heading for Russia to fix things. The thing was, Dreyfus was pretty sure Chuck and his team were already fixed.

* * *

A/N: Part of me says end this fic here, but you guys would kill me. I don't know if this is one, two, or three more chapters, but I know what I wanted to do when I started out has been accomplished. Explore the things that made our favorite spies the way they were, take a deep dive into the issues they face, and see if we can't make them stronger on the other side. I think that's done, but as Casey said, God, Country, Family. Let's bring everyone home, and make life safe for Molly. See you soon.

DC


	20. Ch 20, Russia

A/N: You all asked it to keep going, just remember that.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

* * *

A few weeks later

Dr. Dreyfus sat in his recliner, flipping through pay movie channels, when he stopped. He listened as Huey Lewis and the News belted out "Back in Time". Sitting back, he watched for a few minutes, and then shook his head. "I don't see the resemblance," he muttered. He was pulled out of his thoughts by a knocking on the door. He got up, and opened the door to see Chuck.

"Hey, Doc," Chuck said, a worried smile on his face.

"Chuck," Dreyfus replied, glancing back at the TV, but shaking his head, sure it was a coincidence. "I do have office hours."

"Yeah," Chuck replied, "about that… We have a huge problem and… well… you're the doc, Doc." Dreyfus narrowed his eyes, but they widened when Sarah stepped around Chuck, tears in her eyes.

"I need help Doctor Dreyfus," she said softly.

"Something happened," he said. It wasn't a question. Sarah nodded. "Please, come in."

}o{

The Mission

Sarah had just finished telling the team the entire Molly story, as their plane soared towards Moscow. "I'm sorry I never told you before, but I always thought as long as no one knew about Molly, no one could hurt her."

Chuck squeezed her hand. Jack was giving the two of them a look Chuck couldn't interpret. Chuck also saw the look on Casey's face. He knew that look: It was the look Sarah had on her face, as she walked down the hallway months ago, trying to find him, before she saw him. The 'look of death' is what he'd called it in his head. He caught Casey's eye, and gave him a quick shake of the head.

"Okay, so now we understand all players," Jack said, pulling everyone from their thoughts. All eyes turned to him. "We need to take down Volkoff and his Hydra network."

"If I could get to his computer I could upload a virus, and Dad and I hack in," Chuck offered.

"Uh, what part of old school did you not get, kid?" Jack asked, amused. Sarah squeezed Chuck's hand in support. "Sorry, Charlie… couldn't help myself, always wanted to say that." Chuck gave him a look, and Jack continued, looking inordinately pleased with himself. "Why go to all that trouble, if we can just get Hartley to let us in himself."

"Uh, how do you plan on getting the Intersect out of Hartley?" Chuck asked.

"With these," Jack said, and slid on a pair of sunglasses. "They scan to see if you have an intersect, and if not, they do nothing. If, however, you do…" He looked pointedly at Chuck.

"What?"

"I don't know, you seem like the type that would know the right word," Jack replied.

"Whammo?"

"Whammo?" Jack repeated, giving him a disappointed look.

"I would think more of an electrical sound," Sarah added. Chuck gave her a look. "What?"

"Probably shouldn't say what I'm thinking in front of your dad," Chuck muttered.

"Christ," Casey grunted and got up. "Fine, we all know what to do. Now clear out, I've got a call to make."

"Darlin', can I talk to you alone for a second?" Jack asked her. Chuck gave her a smile and left. Jack and Sarah left the area as well, giving Casey the space for his call. Casey punched a few buttons and waited.

"King," Casey said as a way of greeting when the other man popped on the screen.

"Casey," King replied. He knew what was coming.

"Permission to exterminate the target with extreme prejudice," Casey requested, like he was ordering toast off the menu.

"Granted," King replied. "In fact, I insist." King and Casey both smiled.

In another section of the plane, Jack sat across from Sarah. "Listen, I get why you did what you did with that girl, and I'm glad you gave her to Emma, but…" He gave her a look, not sure what to say.

"Just say it, Dad," Sarah said, wanting this over with. He, of all people, shouldn't be giving parenting advice.

"I'm a shit father," Jack began. Sarah never changed her expression. A pause, and then "Okay," he continued, softly. "I'm not criticizing your mom, but… no one knows better what not to do, than you."

"What are you saying?" Confusion covered Sarah's face.

"You should be raising that little girl… not because you aren't good at what you do, but because it's what you've always wanted to do," Jack said softly. "Angel… I did you wrong."

"You got that right," Sarah agreed.

"But, that little girl is your shot. Plus, we both know Charlie would be all about kids."

A sad smile covered her face. "Dad, I don't get to have kids, or have that life. I have to protect Chuck. As long as he has that Intersect in him, there's no telling who or what's coming for him. I have to protect him, and I can't knowingly bring a child into that."

"Dump him," Jack said, a smirk on his face. He saw Sarah's face. "What? You're really in love with that schmuck?"

"Yeah," Sarah replied, nodding, her eyes crackling anger. "I am. Now, I have to prepare the man I love, since he's about to be reunited with his own shit parents." Sarah got up and walked away. Jack pulled the glasses out of his pocket and stared at them for a minute. He nodded, and put them back in his coat pocket.

}o{

"You know, you could be both, Sarah," Dreyfus said gently. "A mother, and a protector."

"She'd have no problem doing it either," Chuck added. Sarah gave him a look. He shrugged. "Especially now," he muttered. Dreyfus leaned forward in his chair. "We're getting ahead of ourselves."

}o{

A few days later, in their hotel room, Sarah was getting ready. "Promise me you'll stay with Casey," she began, staring him in the eye.

"Fine, but I really don't know how this is fair. You're getting to hang out with your dad. I'm not getting to hang out with my mom." The underlying whine was only just tolerable.

"Chuck, Carina and I are with dad playing a role," Sarah began.

"EW!"

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Chuck, the fact that your mind went there is highly disturbing. But I can assure you THAT is NOT happening."

Chuck snickered a moment. "Carina that smitten with Casey?"

Sarah studied him for a minute, and shrugged. "Don't know."

"She is," Chuck said softly, smiling. Her eyes got huge. "You can't tell her I told you."

"You two gossip like hens," Sarah said, grinning at him.

"Yeah," he agreed, shrugging. "Love you, stay safe." She cocked her head to the side, and smiled at him. In three long strides, she was in his arms, kissing him.

"I will," she said softly, after she broke the kiss. "You listen to Casey."

"Yes ma'am," he said, watching her leave. Five minutes later there was a knock on the door, and Chuck opened it.

"Get dressed," Casey said, thrusting a suit at him. "We gotta go."

}o{

"Wait…what?" Dreyfus asked. Sarah glanced at Chuck, uncomfortable.

"We had a mission," Chuck replied. "A former CIA agent was out there, rogue, and would kill one of ours and hurt an innocent child. We had an order."

"You had an order?" Dreyfus asked. Chuck nodded. Dreyfus turned to Sarah. "And how did you feel about this?"

"I'd've killed Ryker myself if I saw him," Sarah admitted. "I'm not thrilled I was left out of the loop, but I understand why."

"What happened?" Dreyfus asked.

}o{

Casey pulled the car up to the other parked car in the alley. Casey's driver-side window was rolled down. "Are you Ryker?" Casey asked, making Ryker look at him. Ryker's attention thus diverted, he did not see Chuck's flash, confirming who he said he was.

"He is," Chuck confirmed.

"Good," Casey said, pulling up his gun, putting three center-mass in the chest and one in his forehead. "Since Bryce, I always make sure and put one there," Casey explained, driving off. "Pisses me off to this day," he muttered, rolling up his window.

"Molly is safe for Sarah," Chuck said softly.

"Kid, you're all safe, as long as I'm alive," Casey replied just as softly. Neither man said another word the rest of the drive.

}o{

Dreyfus looked at Chuck. "I'm fine, really," Chuck insisted. "He'd've killed her. He was on the kill list at the CIA. He's a bad guy. Casey did what he had to do, the same thing Sarah had to do… the same thing I had to do." Dreyfus gave him a tight smile. "Progress?"

"Progress," Dreyfus replied, the smile growing.

}o{

They were at a bar, celebrating. Frost and Sarah were over at a side table, talking. Jack had come to sit with Carina, Chuck, and Casey. "Okay," Chuck said, looking up at Jack as he sat with them. "It really wasn't that easy."

"Oh, it was," Jack said, taking a sip of beer. "I told Volkoff he wouldn't look as good in my glasses as I did. He put them on, and your mom, Carina, and Sarah… well…" He stared off, thinking about how they took out six thugs in a matter of seconds. "That was impressive as hell."

"Jack, good job," Casey said, standing. "I'm going to get another, anyone else want anything?"

"Can I talk to my future son-in-law for a moment?" Jack asked.

"WHAT?!" Chuck replied, startled. "I never…I haven't…."

"Calm down, Charlie," Jack said, a smirk on his face. "We both know it's a matter of time… before she asks you."

"So you think your daughter wears the pants in the family?" Carina asked Jack, rising to leave.

Chuck tried, unsuccessfully, to signal Jack not to answer that. "I do," Jack replied.

"Shows how little you know," Carina said, smirking. "If she has her way, neither of them do." Jack closed his eyes and put his beer on the table. Chuck groaned and put his hands in his face. "You two have fun," she said in a sing-song voice, heading off.

"Well," Jack said, after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. Jack signaled a waitress, and got them another round. "To family," he said, toasting with Chuck. "She's gonna need you to help with that kid."

"Doesn't matter that Ryker's gone," Chuck said softly. "She won't chance it, with me having the Intersect."

"How do you feel about that?" Jack asked. Chuck turned to him. "I mean, come on, Charlie, I'm the world's worst dad. I'm aware of exactly what I am. But what do you want?"

Chuck sighed, and looked over at Sarah. "I want to make her happy," Chuck said softly. He turned back to Jack. "Whatever that looks like."

Jack nodded, and took a sip of his drink, while signaling the waitress for another for Chuck. For the next half hour, he told Chuck stories, all while getting him drinks.

"She would be such a good mom," Chuck said looking into his glass, drunk out of his mind, sometime later. He turned to Jack. "And overprotective." He shook his head, grinning. "I wish she could see herself the way I see her."

"How do you see her, Charlie?"

"She's beautiful… inside. I mean there's a beautiful soul there, that protects people. She puts everyone first, but never herself. She takes cares of those she loves, and she's scared to say it, but her actions scream it. She believes in people, and encourages them to be themselves. And God, she's pretty."

"She is," Jack said, a grin on his face. "Close your eyes." Chuck looked at him. "Trust me." Chuck complied. "Now lean back a little… that's it… and picture her with Molly."

"Okie dokie," Chuck said. "I can see them."

"Are you there, with them, Charlie?" he asked, his voice catching but Chuck, in his tipsiness, missed it.

"Yeah," he said softly. "But it will never happen."

"Why not?" Jack asked, pulling the sunglasses out of his suit pocket.

"Because she has to protect me," Chuck answered, sighing.

"Would you protect her?"

"With everything in me," Chuck replied. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"I'm slipping these glasses on to help you see the future better," Jack said, blinking back a tear.

"That's so nice," Chuck slurred.

"Open your eyes, Charlie," Jack said softly. Chuck did.

It took seconds, and Chuck's head whipped around a little, but Jack held it, so he wouldn't hurt himself. It ended, and Jack slipped them off, the glasses smoking. He put them quickly back into his pocket. "Take care of her… son." With that, Jack slipped out of the bar, unnoticed.

* * *

A/N: Whew. I'm not crying, you're crying. More soon.

DC


	21. Ch 21, Worthy

A/N: Hi, I think we're at the end, I think. See the A/N at the end. Welcome to Ch 21, Worthy

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

* * *

Dreyfus turned to Chuck. "You don't have the Intersect anymore?" Chuck shook his head. "How are you?"

"Fine," Chuck replied. "My head feels… lighter, but that's not why we're here."

"It's part of it," Sarah choked out, softly.

"Wait, so you losing the Intersect isn't why you're here?"

"No," Chuck replied.

"Yes," Sarah replied, simultaneously. They both looked at each other. Dreyfus got up, and Sarah looked to him. "Where are you going?"

"To get something to drink. If I'm off hours, I'm going to need something," Dreyfus said. He stopped just out of sight, and listened.

"Sarah," Chuck began.

"No, Chuck, how is it fair to you, huh?" Dreyfus peeked around the doorway, and saw tears streaming down Sarah's face. "How is it fair that my father yanked the Intersect out of your head without even asking you? How is it fair that he now expects us to be a family? I'm not worthy of you, or her."

"Sarah, I'm not Mjolnir, and neither is Molly," Chuck replied. Sarah just stared at him. "Sarah," he began. There was a knock on the door.

Dreyfus came back in, and headed for the door. "You two expecting someone?" he asked.

"Uh, actually," Chuck began.

Dreyfus opened the door and saw Carina holding a toddler. "Listen, this one has been calling for her parents."

"Parents?" Dreyfus asked.

"Dada," Molly said, reaching for Chuck, who was right behind him. Chuck reached out and took the little girl.

Dreyfus turned to him. "Apparently, I'm not up to speed," Dreyfus said, wonder in his voice.

"Not even hardly," Sarah said, taking Molly as the little girl reached for her. Sarah watched her with haunted eyes.

"But I think I'm getting there," Dreyfus said softly.

}o{

Russia

"Chuck!" Sarah said, rushing over to him, shaking him. "CHUCK!"

"Not so loud, m'head hurt," Chuck slurred.

"What happened to you?" she asked, opening his eye and peering into it.

"Your dad gave me glasses to see our future," Chuck replied, shaking his head.

"Chuck… were they sunglasses?"

"Yep!" he replied. "My future was so bright I had to wear shades." Sarah turned and looked toward the door through which she knew her dad had disappeared. "You don't have to protect me anymore, Sarah."

She turned back to him, taking his hand. "I'll always protect you, Chuck."

}o{

Dreyfus looked at the couple. Sarah was holding Molly, like a protective mother, and her eyes were constantly checking on Chuck.

"Sarah, I think you're going to need to see someone," Dreyfus began.

"No," Sarah replied. "I get it, we should have separate counselors, but who else is cleared?" Dreyfus nodded, acknowledging she was right. "But, I want to do this as a couple."

"Are you absolutely sure?" Dreyfus asked. Sarah nodded. "Fine. Let's start with why anyone would think you're worthy of Chuck or Molly."

Chuck's mouth dropped. "How dare you," he said in a low even voice as he rose from his chair. "Sarah Walker has protected that child by ending her relationship with her own mother. She protected me when I was no one, a man she hardly even knew. The question is, how am I worthy of her?"

"How dare you," Sarah said, standing, handing the child to Dreyfus. She looked Chuck right in the eye. "How dare you think you're not worthy of some killer."

"You're not a killer. We've been through this."

"The dreams of what I've done keep me awake at night."

"Then I'll just have to hold you tighter," Chuck countered.

"I can't raise a child. She might grow up like me."

"Who are you to decide she can't be the most selfless, loving person to walk the Earth, the one willing to do anything to protect her own?" Chuck reached over and took Molly from the doctor, the child then clinging to Chuck's neck. "Why can't you see you through my eyes?"

"Why can't you get that I'm damaged?"

"We're all damaged," Chuck replied.

"Should I leave?" Dreyfus asked, amused. They both turned to him. "I'm not sure where I'd go, since it IS my house."

"I'm sorry, Doc, we should leave," Chuck began.

"Oh, no. You're not going anywhere," Dreyfus said, amused. "I need to know how this little girl came into the picture." Sarah narrowed her eyes at him. "For strictly professional reasons."

"I don't believe you for a minute," Sarah said, but she sat down, and Chuck followed. "After everything that happened, my family decided to screw over Chuck one more time."

"You didn't do anything wrong," Chuck said.

"My family did to you what Bryce did to you!"

Chuck looked up at the ceiling. "God, you have a guilt complex that won't quit."

"And you forgive people too easily," Sarah snapped.

"And both of you refuse to accept how the other feels," Dreyfus said softly. Chuck and Sarah looked at him. "You are, of course, welcome to prove me wrong." They both looked a bit sheepish at that.

"Sarah, it is your family's fault, specifically your dad's, that Chuck has lost the Intersect, but have you stopped to think he might be okay losing it?" Sarah gave Chuck a look and he nodded.

"Chuck," Dreyfus continued. "I've seen her file; she does have a guilt complex. But knowing that doesn't make her feel any less guilty for what happened to you."

"Plus being saddled with a child," Sarah added quickly.

"You don't want him to help you raise her?" Dreyfus asked. Sarah quickly shook her head.

Chuck picked up Molly and raspberried her stomach. "The only way this one saddles me, is if she climbs on my back and rides me like a horsey." Sarah gave him a level look. "What? I love this kid." Sarah's expression softened, but she crossed her arms in front of her, like she was feeling vulnerable.

"Ready-made family, huh, Sarah?" Dreyfus asked. He watched her shift uncomfortably. "It doesn't mean you have to get married or-"

"What if I want to?" she spit out quickly, making both men look at her. "What if I want to, but I don't think it's a good idea?"

"Why, because you're not… using your word… worthy?" Sarah nodded. "Tell me about Miss Molly." Sarah took a deep breath.

}o{

After Russia

The two of them stood in front of the door, waiting for it to be opened after knocking. "Sarah… your hands are sweating."

"I know," she mumbled, and gave him a nervous smile.

"Hey, it's okay," Chuck said, putting an arm around her. "I got you."

The door opened, and Emma saw the two. She nearly laughed out loud when Chuck quickly took his arm off Sarah. "Sarah?" Emma asked, expectantly. Sarah nodded. Emma took two steps and pulled her into a hug. "Your father told me," she said. Sarah might have collapsed if Emma hadn't been holding her. "Come on in," she said, backing away a bit, but still having her arm around Sarah. She looked up at Chuck. "You must be Charlie."

"Chuck, actually," he replied. "Not Schnook?"

"Oh, he really likes you," Emma said with a smile. She laughed when Chuck looked a little pale. They went inside, and Emma asked them to have a seat on the couch. "I assume you want to see her?" Sarah nodded, tears in her eyes, unable to speak. Emma walked out of the room, and Sarah took Chuck's hand.

"Sweetie, I just want to warn you: If you hear popping sounds from my hand, I'll probably cry right after." Sarah turned to him, flashed him a quick smile, and eased up on the squeezing.

Emma came back in the room, carrying a golden-haired toddler. "Mama?" Molly babbled. Sarah's eyes went wide.

"I've always told her I'm her Gran," Emma explained. "You saved her… you're her mother." Sarah looked at Chuck, fear in her eyes.

"Hey, you protected me, how much harder can it be for a toddler? Plus, you've got me," Chuck said softly.

A warm smile came over her face. "So, you're saying I would have two toddlers to watch," Sarah said, smirking. She turned back toward Emma and held her arms out. "Com'ere little one," she said, taking Molly into her arms.

"Mama," she babbled again, and wrapped her arms around Sarah's neck. Chuck was making faces and waving at her.

"Who's that weird man?" Sarah asked. Molly screeched. "That's Chuck, he's a really nice guy."

"Dada," Molly said, reaching for him. The smiles, and color, drained from both Sarah's and Chuck's faces.

}o{

"Great Scott!"

Chuck narrowed his eyes at Dreyfus, while holding Molly. "Now you're just messing with me."

"You're the one who keeps calling me, Doc," he replied, chuckling.

}o{

"Here's what happened," Emma began, trying to hide the smile resulting from Chuck holding Molly, and making sure the little girl was comfortable. Sarah held the little girl's hand in hers. "I have been reading a book to her called 'My Family', and it talked about the different types of families." Emma paused, picked up her phone, and passed it to Sarah. The lock screen was a picture of Chuck and Sarah that had to have been taken when they were having dinner with Jack. They looked happy, together, like they belonged. "When I got this picture, I showed it to Molly and said that was her Mommy or Mama." Emma chuckled watching the three. "So, the next time I read the book she got my phone and pointed at you when I would say Mama. When I would read the part about Daddy or Dada, she would point at Chuck. I kept trying to tell her differently, but… she's a little stubborn."

}o{

"So you see, I've done to Chuck what Bryce had done to Chuck… my family has, at least," Sarah explained. Dreyfus was watching Chuck shake his head.

"You don't agree?" Dreyfus asked.

"No, not at all," he said, shifting Molly, to where her head was lying against his chest as she slept. Sarah reached over and ran her hand through Molly's hair. "Your dad… maybe I can kind'a see where you would get that idea. But the part about me being Molly's dad? That's not my decision. That's yours, and Molly's, and given her age it would be yours."

"But you have no choice," Sarah rebutted.

"What math are you using to get to that conclusion? Because she called me dada? Do you know how many kids call randoms 'mama' and 'dada'? If she wants to call me dada, then I am honored. But if YOU want her to call me dada… Sarah… I could never think of a more amazing request, a scarier request, and I one I would gladly take on."

Sarah just stared at him. "You mean you want to…be her father? You want to be…"

"Marry me," he said softly. Her eyes went huge.

"I…I don't know…I…"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, not here, in front of Doc, because now you might feel pressured. It's just… I've been holding that in for a while, I just want you in my life, and now I want Molly in my life, and I just want you to be happy, and I think I make you ha-"

"Yes," she whispered. Chuck stopped mid-word. "Yes, I'll marry you."

Chuck leaned in to kiss her, making Molly shift. He looked down at the little girl, then at Sarah, and that's when it dawned on him where he was. Sarah and Chuck sat there, quietly.

"Progress?" Chuck asked.

Dreyfus nodded. "Great progress."

* * *

A/N: That felt end-ish, didn't it? An epilogue, maybe? Or just end it there? Let me know. Thank you all for following, supporting, and just keeping me going on what has been the HARDEST fic emotionally for me to ever write.

David


	22. Ch 22, Together

A/N: Hey, thanks for going through this journey with me. This story has not been easy for me to tell. For those of you that don't know a few years ago I was diagnosed with Asperger's AND Anxiety Disorder. I keep things light in my writing because my head does things that makes life hard enough. I can get dark, real dark, but…I don't like to because of what it does to me. But this story, this….idea, it would not leave me alone no matter how much I tried to get it to, so this is what you got. I know it's had starts and stops, but it had to, for my mental well being and I apologize for that. At the end it got fluffy (shocker, right) but dear Lord, didn't this bunch deserve it by the end? So let's end this, and maybe not everything gets a perfect bow, but what does in life? For the last time, Broken Ch 22, Together.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

* * *

Dreyfus was staring at Chuck, confused.

"Listen, Doc, I know you're busy right now, but I really need to talk to you."

"I have some time… now," Dreyfus replied, shaking his head. Chuck grinned, and took a seat. Dreyfus did the same, still staring at Chuck, more confused than ever. "I thought you were in a good place?"

"I'm not sure," Chuck replied. "I'm really not."

Dreyfus nodded, understanding what was going on. "Why don't you tell me what's been going on, and we'll see if we can figure this out, together?"

}o{

"Chuck, would you give us a status report on your gym, please?" King had a grin on his face.

"Well, I have been doing some studying on my own, to better understand how to run a gym," Chuck began.

"What he means is he has been-"

"EARS!" Sarah barked at Carina. Everyone turned and looked at Molly who had her arms wrapped around Chuck's neck, her head burrowed into Chuck's shoulder.

Carina sighed. "I swear, you take all the fun out of everything," Carina said, trying to sound exasperated. She was coming up short, though, since she was tickling Molly's belly, making the little girl laugh.

"What our dear friend is trying to say," Chuck began.

"That's low," Carina muttered.

Chuck continued, a grin on his face. "What my bestie," Carina rolled her eyes and made a gagging sound. "Is trying to say, is that we used everyone's specialties and decided to really make the most out of this gym. Carina has a hospitality degree, and one in nutrition."

"She can be hospitable," Casey muttered. Carina winked at him, while Sarah and Chuck shuddered.

"Casey knows quite a bit about properly working out. Sarah knows how to market, and I know people," Chuck finished quickly before any more innuendos could be made.

"Okay, it's your business, you're making money. And you're letting government agents train there, both physically, and in the armory. This is a win-win. So, what's the big deal?"

"I would like these three permanently stationed here. They are part of this," Chuck said, standing straight. "I've talked to each, and they're agreeable."

"Sarah IS permanently assigned to you," King began.

"She's even got the bling to prove it," Carina muttered.

King shook his head, grinning. "But, the other two…"

"My family is here, in these three, Tom," Carina said softly. She turned and looked at them. "If that ever gets out of this room, I will end you all."

"My daughter is here," Casey blurted out. Startled, King looked at the room. He seemed, however, to be the only one surprised.

"I guess I should explain, since it's my fault," Chuck began. "I started a day care in the gym because, well…" He cocked his head toward Molly. "I advertised for helpers and…."

"My daughter, who I didn't know I had, signed up," Casey finished.

"I'm running the childcare room with a few helpers, but it's easier to separate them," Sarah explained. "So, we have a section for 3 months to 4 years, and then a Kidz Klub for kids that are 5 to 11. Alex is so good, we've put her in charge of the Kidz Klub."

"Has anyone told Mary that?" Carina asked. Sarah chuckled.

"You two will still go on missions?" King asked. They both nodded. King sat back in his chair. "Works for me." He looked at Chuck. "You know you could have bolted after everything that happened, and no one would have blamed you."

Chuck gave him a look. "Tom… these are my friends… my family… you don't give up on family, and they were here for me."

"Christ," Casey said, and left the room.

"He got something in his eye," Chuck said with a grin.

"Let me know if you need anything," King said, with his own grin, and signed off.

}o{

"Okay, so work is good?" Dreyfus confirmed. Chuck nodded. "What about the family?"

"Well… we recently all got together for an engagement party," Chuck began.

"Hoo, boy," Dreyfus muttered.

}o{

"Sarah, this is my dad-" was all Chuck could get out, before Sarah gave her best impression of an Ellie hug.

"Thank you," she said softly. Stephen then returned the hug, very surprised. "If it wasn't for you…"

"If it wasn't for me, it would never have happened," he said.

She pulled away and gave him The Look (TM pending) "Stephen Bartowski," she began.

"Christ," Casey muttered as he fled.

"You don't get to blame other people's evil on you," Sarah said. Stephen swallowed and nodded.

"I need you not to terrify my… well… husband," Mary said, a grin on her face, her hand on Sarah's shoulder.

"Is that what I am, Mary?" Stephen asked.

"It's what I consider you," Mary admitted. "Will… will you give us another chance?"

"Why should I?" Stephen asked.

"Because Ellie and I gave you one," Chuck offered. Stephen turned to him, shocked. "Listen, you two sucked as parents… let's be honest. And it hurts me to say that, but you did. However, it's clear you two really loved each other, and you both did what you thought was best. So how about this; try talking. Just try. Communicate, both of you, and if it isn't right, then it isn't right."

"You are an articulate schnook," Jack said softly. Chuck turned and saw him. "I'm sorry, Charlie, but my baby girl was gonna worry about you, as long as you had that thing in your head. I mean she's always gonna worry about you…"

"All you had to do was ask me," Chuck said with a shrug. "All you had to was ask."

"Yeah, I'm not much of an asker."

"What are you doing here?" Sarah nearly growled.

"I invited him," Chuck replied, making Sarah turn to him. "If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have my parents back."

She stared at him for a moment. "Remember what you just said about communication?" Chuck gulped. Sarah studied him a second and then nodded. "But, I get it."

"So, I'm good?" Jack asked, with a grin on his face. It fell off when Sarah turned to him. "Not good?"

"Do you think maybe you can stay out of trouble until we get married?" Sarah asked him.

Jack nodded. "For you, Angel."

"How about for you?" Sarah asked, honestly.

}o{

"Has he?" Dreyfus asked. Chuck nodded. "Chuck, why am I here?"

"I don't know if I deserve this," Chuck began.

"Chuck, let me be crystal clear about something: I'm here today as a guest. I'm here today, because you invited me to your wedding. I'm not here as your psychiatrist," Dreyfus said, sternly. "That said, of course you don't deserve any of this." Chuck's eyes went wide. "Do any of us deserve any of the things that make us happy?"

"Uh," was all Chuck could answer.

"Here's what I know." Dreyfus moved closer in his seat, so he could look Chuck right in the eyes. "There is a woman out there that loves you, that would LITERALLY move mountains for you. LITERALLY fight people for you. Why are you in here talking to me? Do you deserve her? NO! Does she deserve you? ABSOLUTELY NOT! But you two love each other! Great Scott, you two drive me batty!"

"Doc?"

"Quiet!" Chuck's eyes were huge. "You have a love that is one of those loves that people right crazy movies, or books, or poems, or some sonnet about. Go out there and be happy! Go out there and marry the woman you love!"

"What happened to me doing the work and progress?" Chuck asked.

"Would you want to be the reason Sarah Walker's soon to be husband was late for his wedding?" Dreyfus asked.

"I should go," Chuck said, all of that sinking in. He fled.

Dreyfus put his head in his hand. "Thank you," Sarah said softly. "But I wouldn't have hurt you."

Dreyfus looked up at her. He had seen her outside the door earlier. He raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

She grinned, and headed to her spot beside Casey and her dad, who were both going to walk her down the aisle. The music played, and Dreyfus got up and found a seat to watch the wedding.

}o{

Six months later

"Hey, can I talk to you a minute?" Sarah asked, pulling him away from a customer.

"I swear to God, Sarah, she wasn't flirting," Chuck said, worry on his face for the customer.

"Oh, she was, she was just flirting with me," she informed him.

He thought about that for a second. "Wait, what?"

"Listen, focus, this is important," Sarah began. "Carina is having a crisis of conscience." She grinned.

"Carina has a conscience?" Chuck asked. Sarah snorted.

"She doesn't know who to ask to stand with her at the wedding." Chuck was still confused where he fit in. "What do you say about us splitting the matron/dude of honor duties."

"Dude of Honor?" Chuck asked, thinking about that. "I kind'a like that."

"I thought you would…" She trailed off biting her lip. She pulled him further away from everyone. "Listen, I know we talked about it in passing… but… well… uh… you're gonna find out eventually," she muttered. She looked up at him, a grin on her face.

"You're pregnant?" he asked. She gave him a look of amazement. "Come on, Sarah, you've been nauseous, and we haven't exactly not been trying."

"Are you okay with this?" Sarah asked.

"Woman, you just pulled me away from 4 toddlers, what do you think?" She nearly tackled him from the hug. A minute later, he pulled away. "The question is, are you okay with this?"

"Yeah," Sarah admitted, nodding.

"Okay, I gotta get back to them, but tonight, we celebrate. No alcohol, obviously." Sarah nodded, and walked toward the offices.

An arm snaked through hers, "Come on," Ellie said, a grin on her face. I'm taking you to lunch." Sarah grinned, and they headed to the cafeteria.

"Remember in the hospital when you two were recovering and I asked you, 'And after'?" Ellie asked after they got their food. Sarah grinned and nodded. "Figured it out?"

Sarah put down her food, and grinned at her sister-in-law. "Still working on it daily, but I think I've got most of it figured out." Ellie smiled at her. "I'm pregnant."

In the toddler room, Chuck nearly had two of the children asleep when a noise woke all the kids. "What was that?" Alex asked.

"Sarah just told Ellie she's pregnant," Chuck replied, a smile on his face. "Progress," he said softly.

* * *

A/N: Thank you all for this journey. I don't know if it was what you expected, I know it wasn't what I expected. I have no idea if I'll ever attempt anything like this again. I thank you all that stuck with it to the end.

A/N2: Hey, if you are a member of Facebook and aren't a part of the Chuck fanfic group, request to join. Yes, I am a moderator. There are three questions to answer so we know that you are legit and not a bot. Come join us, we have some cool conversations and I take requests over there. In fact I have a poll up right now.

David


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